hi Im married frustrated , sad...and all the above feelings u can have...help!!

[vashti]

How soon you think it'll be before you're a granny?

If I have my way, not for at least 20 years.

[Gigabitch]

@Vashti: My point is that women are more drawn into "romantic" scenarios.
And, yes, I believe that a "crush" on anyone is in the same category and is probably the start of extramartial relationships for most people.

I, for one, had a crush on someone for four years while I was married and would never, EVER have cheated. The crush was fun, I'm still friendly with the guy, and my husband and I ended up getting divorced, but not because of that. It was a symptom. I'm grown up enough to have recognized it as such and not take it where it didn't need to go.

I think it sould be a lot harder to get married. People should really have to work for it. Maybe they'd value it more. I wish people really had to try to get pregnant, too.

[Indus18]

I would strongly recommend cutting this guy out, fessing up to your husband, and getting relationship counseling. If he loved you enough to marry you (i hope you weren't always this way) he'll love you enough to change for you as long as he knows how severe the issue is. As for you, get some self-esteem, don't get your validation through compliments from [obviously] sleazy guys. Seriously, a good counselor can work wonders. In truth, however, I hope he divorces you.

[Gigabitch]

The kids will suffer for that, though.

And yeah, that guy is a total sleaze. Who goes after a married woman?

[Krispy K]

First of all that guy that you are having an emotional affair with has no respect for himself much less you... I'm only 20 years old but I know that much... it's one think being in a relationship where you are not getting everything you know you deserve, and having feelings of self doubt or anger, but it's another thing to act on your emotions.

You took a vow to love, honor, and respect him (YOUR HUSBAND) and when things started going sour you tossed him to the wind...

And as for your mystery man... if he really "cared" about you he would do everything in his power to help/encourage you in making your relationship work, and if all is beyond repair then he should have made a move.

Plus if you ever were to get with him how would you be able to trust him... "If he'll cheat with you he'll cheat on you" GOLDEN RULE OF THUMB. The real victims are your children and your husband...

[IndiReloaded]

You took a vow to love, honor, and respect him (YOUR HUSBAND) and when things started going sour you tossed him to the wind...

And as for your mystery man... if he really "cared" about you he would do everything in his power to help/encourage you in making your relationship work, and if all is beyond repair then he should have made a move.

I think the OP is long gone, but you're a very wise 20 year old.