Introverts and extroverts

[Off2College]

I am quite introverted, but that's because I hate wasting time around groups not worth wasting time around. I would gladly go out for dinner or have coffee 1-on-1, and I often seize these chance. But I don't like parties where people act like idiots.

I've recently realized that I'm pretty strong, if not a little extreme on this bit... I recently walked out on a prestigious literary society applicants meeting because they were cracking teenage-sex jokes. And I had wanted to join this society because of the prestige for months. No more...

[Gigabitch]

Oh, for God's sake, O2C. You need to relax. Doesn't it get tiresome, holding everyone up to this standard you have? And is it really working all that well for you? You're lonely. I see the connection.

[Gribble]

Quit being so pretentious. Pretentious people are boring people. And boring people end up lonely people.

[Michael6084]

i personally would like to punch Off2College's face in for being an arrogant prick, but maybe that's just me. i apologize.

[Stirfry]

I am quite introverted, but that's because I hate wasting time around groups not worth wasting time around. I would gladly go out for dinner or have coffee 1-on-1, and I often seize these chance. But I don't like parties where people act like idiots.

I've recently realized that I'm pretty strong, if not a little extreme on this bit... I recently walked out on a prestigious literary society applicants meeting because they were cracking teenage-sex jokes. And I had wanted to join this society because of the prestige for months. No more...

I'm a bit like that too... It's not about being arrogant or picky, I just prefer to make time with someone as enjoyable as possible.. and it's easier for me to do that with someone 1-on-1 than in a large group.

What kind of jokes was the group making?

[Tiay]

Personally I think that being introverted or extroverted is a matter of choice, even though our personalities and upbringing tend to put us in one part or the other by default. I believe that if you make a conscious decision to be introverted you will be introverted, if extroverted you will be extroverted. Ultimately, all it takes is skill, motivation and experience of talking to people to be sociable imo. If you have those 3, you can consider your conversion complete.

um. no. when we are born we can already tell if the baby is introverted or extroverted. I'm sure that this isn't just a switch that is either on or off; there are degrees. Ie, if you're only slightly introverted, but have an extroverted upbringing/family and want to be an extrovert yourself, i'm sure you can nudge yourself into that direction; but if you're born as extremely introverted, no amount of skill, motivation or experience will get you there.

introverts react more strongly. If you give an introvert and an extrovert a drop of lemon juice, the introvert will produce significantly more saliva. I'm sure you've heard of that experiment. That's why the content overload scorp mentioned overwhelms introverts more easily, and why we prefer small intimate groups of friends.

[Henry123]

um. no. when we are born we can already tell if the baby is introverted or extroverted. I'm sure that this isn't just a switch that is either on or off; there are degrees. Ie, if you're only slightly introverted, but have an extroverted upbringing/family and want to be an extrovert yourself, i'm sure you can nudge yourself into that direction; but if you're born as extremely introverted, no amount of skill, motivation or experience will get you there.

introverts react more strongly. If you give an introvert and an extrovert a drop of lemon juice, the introvert will produce significantly more saliva. I'm sure you've heard of that experiment. That's why the content overload scorp mentioned overwhelms introverts more easily, and why we prefer small intimate groups of friends.

Wow Tiay is so smart!

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, just do what feels right for you, preferably w/o affecting anyone else's ability to do the same. Be genuine. The labels don't matter.

Gribble, GrkS... there will always be someone 'smarter' that knows more than either of you, isn't that right? So WFT are you trying to accomplish?

But go ahead, carry on. It will give me a reason to post my Gorilla-Chest Thumping photo again. I haven't needed to for a while now.

[IndiReloaded]

um. no. when we are born we can already tell if the baby is introverted or extroverted. I'm sure that this isn't just a switch that is either on or off; there are degrees. Ie, if you're only slightly introverted, but have an extroverted upbringing/family and want to be an extrovert yourself, i'm sure you can nudge yourself into that direction; but if you're born as extremely introverted, no amount of skill, motivation or experience will get you there.

introverts react more strongly. If you give an introvert and an extrovert a drop of lemon juice, the introvert will produce significantly more saliva. I'm sure you've heard of that experiment. That's why the content overload scorp mentioned overwhelms introverts more easily, and why we prefer small intimate groups of friends.

There seems to be a predisposition to the wiring, but its not 'set' the way our eye colour is, Tiay. There's no data that has deliberately taken an 'introverted' phenotype and deliberately raised it to be 'extroverted'. Be careful you don't cite something as fact that hasn't actually been proven (says the scientist).

[Gribble]

Gribble, GrkS... there will always be someone 'smarter' that knows more than either of you, isn't that right? So WFT are you trying to accomplish?

All I tried to do was elucidate. If some people are hypersensitive and take offense, f-uck 'em.

[Tiay]

indi: thanks for noting that. I did say "i'm sure that" to express that it is a personal opinion/speculation, but maybe that wasn't clear enough; whether or not a slightly introverted person can make themselves more extroverted is not a proven fact, but I personally believe that it makes sense to conclude (oh geez that sounds awkward) that we're born with a certain way, but that we do have a 'range' within we can 'force/nudge/nurture' ourselves into one or the other direction. Our species great strength is adaptability after all. If a somewhat introverted person is born into an inescapable environment where only extroverted people excel, they may find it harder than the rest but they will - imo - probably still get by.

[Babydoll]

I only have one or two people I'd consider my actual friends. But I am a complete extrovert and love mixing with loads of different people.. and I generally tend to get on with most people. I do different things with different people and I enjoy having my big ol' house parties rather than just a little get together with a few mates. I have a few friends who I used to consider as being my 'best friends' who you seem to sound like. They aren't anti-social.. just don't feel comfortable around large groups of people because they aren't very confident and only feel comfortable around people who they can completely be themselves with. They also spend way too much time on world of warcraft.. but that's another story. You aren't by any means the odd one out because alot of people are like this.
I, on the other hand, am often secluded because I flit between friendship groups because I enjoy a variety of company and I have a very forward personality so some people find that intimidating. Hence I literally only have one best friend. I have other friends I would call close.. but not to the extent that my single best friend is.
I think you're normal.

[IndiReloaded]

indi: thanks for noting that. I did say "i'm sure that" to express that it is a personal opinion/speculation, but maybe that wasn't clear enough; whether or not a slightly introverted person can make themselves more extroverted is not a proven fact, but I personally believe that it makes sense to conclude (oh geez that sounds awkward) that we're born with a certain way, but that we do have a 'range' within we can 'force/nudge/nurture' ourselves into one or the other direction. Our species great strength is adaptability after all. If a somewhat introverted person is born into an inescapable environment where only extroverted people excel, they may find it harder than the rest but they will - imo - probably still get by.

I'm just razzing you b/c I know you're in the sciences...

Last I read, there was a genetic component to introvert/extrovert idea... I think it had to do with dopamine sensitivity (which we know can change to some extent). But there's still a strong environmental component to this that makes the phenotype more variable than, say, eye colour. Still, it goes a way to explaining why some ppl just need to go & find a quiet corner to sit in during a rocking party.

Its a hard area to study & get clear answers.

[GrkScorp]

colour

you spelled color wrong.. : )

i'm just playing.. : )

[IndiReloaded]

you spelled color wrong.. : )

i'm just playing.. : )

Indeed? I thought you americans changed the spelling simply to be different.