Top 5 Tips!

[v0ndutch]

i will admit that i want to date a fob japanese girl from japan and i want her to look like a damn model, but the truth of the matter is that "I" am asking for too much.

haha. umm, if that's what you want, you should come to the upper east side where I go to school, you'll easily find about 20-30 of them around my school. all you have to do is hang around the (ESL, Media Studies, Biochemistry, Math, or Accounting classes) and they're all there

they're all really pretty and nice, but they have alot of trouble speaking english. I don't understand why you would want to date someone you can't communicate with, but if that's what you want, that's where you'll find them.

I know i'm asking for alot, and that's most likely the reason i'm still single. but, it also has to do with the way these guys make you feel. it's hard to explain to a guy, mostly because you'll think that it's not important. but, all of the guys i've met in all my classes so far, i've herd them talking to their friends, and i've seen how they act. it's pretty clear that they're looking for a skanky hooker. I only say that because all they talk about is "man, did you see what she was wearing" or "sorry I wasn't paying attention to what the prof. was saying I was too busy looking at".

yeah, ok fine. I know that's how guys are at that age, but it hurts, and for alot of reasons. mostly because it makes you feel that they just want someone who dresses up (rather, down) to show off the most skin possible. during the winter time, it's just impracticle for me to even do that, plus I feel unformortable walking around wearing the things some of these girls do. and that being said, you get zero attention from guys unless you dress flashy, it's sad. but it starts to get to you after a couple of weeks. I mean, you start to question yourself. and it's strange, because even if a guy walks by that you're not even the slightest bit interested in, but they don't find you attractive either, you ask yourself (wow, am I really that unattractive).

I guess the best way to explain it would be for you to think of a really fat and ugly girl walking by, and giving you this look like you're the most disgusting thing she's ever seen. you're clearly not interested in her, but it sort of bothers you that she's not interested in you either. I hope that makes sense

[Gigabitch]

when does this change exactly?

I was totally kidding about the goldfish thing. I think men, like women, are entirely individual. Some get bored easily, others are interested in refining the same move until it's perfect. I guess I should have included a disclaimer about humorous commentary being not necessarily reflective of my real opinions.

[Tiay]

quit cock fighting, people. mehe.. sorry, that was lame.

anyway, i'm still a bit confused, scorp. Feel free to insult my reading abilities.

I do think that there's a tendency to think that women are really complicated, and men are really simple, in terms of sexual pleasure. Ie, penis up equals guaranteed pleasure. Touch penis at any time = pleasure. yet, touch the clit at any time? god no, that only works with the right timing, you idiot (not you).

so yes, it makes sense that neither gender is completely straight-forward when it comes to arousal.

But, I don't get it. So, the two mistakes women make are: touching the penis, and not touching the penis. I must be missing something because that's a really obvious contradiction! Do you want the damn thing touched or not?

in three months of regular sex, i don't think me and my bf ever had sex without me giving him manual/oral sex first. I don't think he'd have been ready for the actual intercourse otherwise.

please clarify.

[squirrley]

V, its the atmosphere youre also in. Youre in school and most guys at that age are happy just hanging around and being young yet. Theyre not ready to settle down. You dont want to be with someone whose 10 yrs older who IS wanting to settle down so you have to then look to your age bracket and go places where guys are more settled. Look to the coffee houses etc or the libraries. Sounds lame, but youre not going to find someone in your age bracket at the bars and find someone you want to date. You need to expand your horizons.

As for the whole male thingy, geezuz guess I feel pretty lucky, my husband is 36 and comes to me WITH a hardon! I havent done anything yet! Dont get me wrong there are times where I have to get him warmed up. No biggy though!

Its funny though because I do have to agree with Giga, most men in certain age brackets have 3 needs, food, sex and sleep. I dont think its a bad thing, but most men Ive talked to or dated in 18 yrs yep they've all said those are things that keep them going on a daily basis!

[miSSleepy]

haha. umm, if that's what you want, you should come to the upper east side where I go to school, you'll easily find about 20-30 of them around my school. all you have to do is hang around the (ESL, Media Studies, Biochemistry, Math, or Accounting classes) and they're all there

they're all really pretty and nice, but they have alot of trouble speaking english. I don't understand why you would want to date someone you can't communicate with, but if that's what you want, that's where you'll find them.

It was another joke

I know i'm asking for alot, and that's most likely the reason i'm still single. but, it also has to do with the way these guys make you feel. it's hard to explain to a guy, mostly because you'll think that it's not important. but, all of the guys i've met in all my classes so far, i've herd them talking to their friends, and i've seen how they act. it's pretty clear that they're looking for a skanky hooker. I only say that because all they talk about is "man, did you see what she was wearing" or "sorry I wasn't paying attention to what the prof. was saying I was too busy looking at".

I used to feel like this too, actually, when I was 13-17. It feels like you can't measure up to what these guys want, and whatsmore, it feels like what these guys want is so trivial and superficial that it all feels so futile. I think i wasted those years feeling bitter and resenting the girls who did get their attention, but also hating these girls for being superficial and getting the man - like, where was the justice!?

But I hear women talking and objectifying men as well. I hear them going on about their weekends and the latest pair of pants, and that sounded pretty much along the lines of what these guys were talking about. You're just discriminating between the two because one interests you and one doesn't. You say guys are boring to hang out with, yet how will you get a guy with that attitude?

yeah, ok fine. I know that's how guys are at that age, but it hurts, and for alot of reasons. mostly because it makes you feel that they just want someone who dresses up (rather, down) to show off the most skin possible. during the winter time, it's just impracticle for me to even do that, plus I feel unformortable walking around wearing the things some of these girls do. and that being said, you get zero attention from guys unless you dress flashy, it's sad. but it starts to get to you after a couple of weeks. I mean, you start to question yourself. and it's strange, because even if a guy walks by that you're not even the slightest bit interested in, but they don't find you attractive either, you ask yourself (wow, am I really that unattractive).

you don't have to wear skimpy clothes to get their attention, you just have to wear something that flatters YOU and looks good on you. You can still show your figure and not bare much skin.

[GrkScorp]

anyway, i'm still a bit confused, scorp. Feel free to insult my reading abilities.

But, I don't get it. So, the two mistakes women make are: touching the penis, and not touching the penis. I must be missing something because that's a really obvious contradiction! Do you want the damn thing touched or not?

ahh... the power women hold over men.. it just makes me sad..

yes yes.. i'm breaking my promise to say goodbye to this thread, only because Tiay is confused..

well... first off, you're not reading (into) what I said; which is fine if you were a guy, perfectly understandable; but you're a woman.. so try to follow the subtle nuances..

now.. i'm not talking about the act of sex.. i'm talking about male foreplay.. confused? well.. just like female foreplay doesn't constitute sex, the same goes for male foreplay.. which doesn't constitute sex..

there's good news!!! male foreplay should really only last 2-3mins to make sex more enjoyable for the guy.. can sex go on without male foreplay?? YES.. in fact most women don't properly preform male foreplay just before sex, and guys have only know one kind of sex.. "that same old sex".. that being said.. sex can go on without female foreplay.. smack on some lube and go.. but is that enjoyable? not really.. see where i'm getting? (it's about male foreplay, which is BEFORE sex)

so.. there are women who are now going to read this and think.. (ok, so how to I make sex better for him?).. the answer.. let his penis simply touch the parts of you that he finds visually arousing.. it's that simple.. that's all there is to it.. that should last around 2-3mins, and take place just before you're ready to start having sex..

so.. what should you NOT DO??

1. Stroke the penis (manual sex = handjobs) prior to you starting sex.. why? well, because ejaculation happens when the shaft of the penis crosses a certain threashold, namely, a stroke threashold.. this normally occurs within the vagina, but the hand can induce the same effect.. so adding to the stroke count is NOT a good idea, and does NOT constitute foreplay (which is there to build up more arousal & tension).. if you add to the stroke count; you will only decrease the time it takes him to ejaculate, and may actually reduce the pleasure he gets from any potential orgasm (since your hand may have a tighter grip on his thing than your vagina)

2. Leave the penis alone and engage in female foreplay activities such as stoking his back, his neck, touching his hands, etc.. He's a man, not a woman; not only is this ineffective, but if you both think enough about what you're doing, it's even insulting..

So, do these two common mistakes contradict?? no!! in case 1, you should not STROKE the penis (instead you should let it touch or rub against the parts of you he finds visually arousing).. in case 2, you should not NEGLECT the penis (instead you should let it touch or rub against the parts of you he finds visually arousing).. the two don't even come into conflict with eachother..

So, to clarify once more.. not STROKING the penis does NOT mean LEAVE THE PENIS ALONE.. it simply means.. DON'T STROKE IT AS A MEANS OF FOREPLAY!!! not NEGLECTING the penis does NOT mean STROKE THE PENIS.. it simply means.. let it touch/rub against whatever turns him on, but DON'T STROKE IT!!!

Then, when those LONG, NEVERENDING, AGONY-FILLED 2-3mins are done (which will be after your good 1 hour + of female foreplay).. you can proceed to having sex..

For women that don't even believe in the concept of male foreplay and don't think those 2-3mins are important.. try it a couple of times.. and notice the before & after.. notice the reaction he has..

For guys.. if your not buying it.. just consider that this art was so heavily studied in China, Japan & India, just so that the male could FULLY enjoy sex.. (in China to balance energy, in India to achieve superior powers & attain immortality, and in Japan just to feel good.. the japanese knew what they were doing).. But you'll actually feel a HUGE difference.. it's day & night.. there will almost NEVER be a time where you get that "sh*tty/crappy" ejaculation that doesn't really feel like anything special or amazing.. (which btw, happens because you haven't orgasmed.. in case you didn't know.. ejaculation can still occur..).. But I don't think most guys have trouble orgasming.. but in case you do.. this will definitely help get rid of that issue.. AND make sex itself (not considering the orgasm, just the act of sex) much more enjoyable..

[miSSleepy]

I would really like to hear what THE MEN here have to say to Scorp's expertise (even though he claims to be speaking for himself yet never fails to encompass the whole male population).

Really...guys...heelloooo....?

[GrkScorp]

I would really like to hear what THE MEN here have to say to Scorp's expertise (even though he claims to be speaking for himself yet never fails to encompass the whole male population).

Really...guys...heelloooo....?

well, that'll only happen by guys with over 1000 posts who are mostly just here to post funny comments.. which is ok..

but i'll tell you this.. most guys.. aren't even in touch with how they feel and the minor details of their sexual pleasures..

secondly.. most guys don't care to read about things in the female section..

and lastly.. have you ever noticed how less guys respond to long posts? lol

[squirrley]

Id be interested in hearing from the guys as well. Because in the years of experiene Ive had, wont admit to, EVERY MALE WANTED to be stroked with hand or mouth and enjoyed every minute of it and at times wanted it longer than the 2 minute warning. I dont think I agree with the concept of dont stroke my dick it makes intercourse less enjoyable.

EVERY man Ive been with has been extremely open to what they want or expect. Its not just about the stroking, but you have to add in other things true. But again, EVERY man Ive been with, didnt particularly want me kissing their neck. They wanted direct action.

I have to say Gk Im somewhat confused on your take also. How can every guy Ive been with be wrong? Ive taken almost every man Ive been with to an orgasm through oral sex, of course then I had to wait for him for a bit, but it surely didnt effect his pumping later on.

[miSSleepy]

well, that'll only happen by guys with over 1000 posts who are mostly just here to post funny comments.. which is ok..

but i'll tell you this.. most guys.. aren't even in touch with how they feel and the minor details of their sexual pleasures..

secondly.. most guys don't care to read about things in the female section..

and lastly.. have you ever noticed how less guys respond to long posts? lol

Yeah I've noticed that
men ............. pffffffffffft

I'm just hoping someone just as in touch as you are will show up and comment

[GrkScorp]

Yeah I've noticed that
men ............. pffffffffffft

I'm just hoping someone just as in touch as you are will show up and comment

well.. you don't even really need to wait.. if you have any close male friend who you think give very detailed and well-analyzed layouts of their feelings.. then have them sit down with you and read this.. and ask them how they feel..

[miSSleepy]

well.. you don't even really need to wait.. if you have any close male friend who you think give very detailed and well-analyzed layouts of their feelings.. then have them sit down with you and read this.. and ask them how they feel..

OK, I'll ask my bf - he's usually very detailed and we have extended conversations about debatable matters.
but, as I said, I have plenty of male friends and I interact better with males and more often. I have 2 female friends. So my main qualm with your analysis is because during my exposure to mainly males I have never come accross one who falls into your description... the general gist and parts of your description, sure, not arguing that, but the whole idea of the foreplay and what men find to be the most sexually stimulating ... it's very true for you I take it and I'm not arguing that, but in my experience not all guys are like that. True, I'm 21, but Squirrely isn't.

[Illusional]

vondutches.... first, i'm all for trying new things. secondly, i have family in japan and i can converse minimally. dating someone that doesn't really speak english very well only leaves room for improvement right?? you have to look on the bright side of things and stop being so negative.

secondly.. you bring this little "boyish" ways to yourself. YOU yourself want all this attention, yet you want to be different from the other girls, you want to stand out without being caught up dressing like a hoe. well i'll tell you this, you're interesting in the wrong category of people. maybe if you started looking in other places besides college and especially all your freshman classes, then you'd find someone who doesn't only get attracted by skin.

you said that you might think that you're a boring ass person and maybe you are. i have no idea who you are or how your personality is. but what i do know is that if you're always looking at things so one-sidely then you're never going to end up with anyone, nor be happy with your life. plain and simple.

raverboy

[Gigabitch]

so.. there are women who are now going to read this and think.. (ok, so how to I make sex better for him?).. the answer.. let his penis simply touch the parts of you that he finds visually arousing..

Okay, I can't help being a smartass. I just have to pipe up with the fact that my boyfriend thinks I have pretty eyes, and I just imagined poking myself in the eye with his dick as a means of engaging in male foreplay.

Baaahahaha!

Anyway, he finds it arousing if I handle his shoulders or his ass. Maybe because he knows it's turning me on, maybe because it feels good, but he definitely enjoys the fondling.

[CAM]

Hey ladies..(and guys?), just wanted to start a thread on top 5 ways to please your man. I think its really sad to see that some girls just rely on the guy to do everything..not any of you..but yeah one of my friends just lets her boyfriend pamper her without doing anything special for him in return. Well here's my top 5 list:

1) Compliment him: guys need a bit of reassurance too..don't just reap in the compliments and smile...tell him how handsome, funny or sweet he is..etc..

2) It's the little things that count: often guys need to feel that they are needed and appreciated by their girlfriend. Whether it's just a simple "you mean so much to me" or even calling them up unexpectedly to tell them you love them. I learned the hard way when my 'boyfriend' said that he just wanted me to call him up sometimes without having a reason to.

3) Indulge him: massages, little gifts, cooking him a special meal, taking him somewhere romantic, helping him out when he's busy etx. It doesn't have to be Valentine's day or his birthday even..just surprise him.

4) Cook for him (taken from point 3): i think this one's worth repeating cos i've never met a guy who doesn't enjoy good food. I've cooked for my boyfriend: from chocolate cake, muffins, and cookies..to pastas, casseroles and roasts. There's a billion other recipes you could try..and you don't have to be a pro.

5) Intimacy: yeah couldn't have a top 5 list without mentioning it. it doesn't have to be sex (im sure he'd like it though)..it could be anything from learning a new way to kiss..treating him with a soothing massage, having a bubble bath together, or if anyone's every tried it..showering together even. it would be good for you too..but make sure you make time where it's just all for him.

well that's my top 5 list..but i always try new things to try to make him happier..not that im insecure or anything, i just think sometimes girls need to give a bit of credit to the guys..they're always the ones romancing us..so we should be going out of our way to treat them. well i wanna see your lists ladies..wouldn't mind a few ideas. oh and guys..tell us what you think!

Do you have a twin sister, Giga? I think I'm in love with you.