Is There Such A Thing As Being Too Confident?

[Tedel]

From my experience, being open has always made me appear as a quite self-confident guy and was a plus for me. In a society where people always hide something, being not afraid of answering questions or the like has always been a good policy.

Besides, we always reap what we sow.

[IndiReloaded]

Giga, what do you mean by 'confidence'? There's a lot of varied answers on here & I think the idea means different things to different ppl.

I think confidence has nothing to do with the face you present to the world. A calm, collected face is easily learned. Its also necessary, like Gribble said (basically, shut up & man up) b/c most of the world really doesn't give a shit about the gibbering monkey underneath. And I think that most ppl are aware, at least subconciously, that it usually is a sham for most ppl, but who wants to deal with a stranger's shit? So the facade is necessary b/c it helps the world run smoothly so stuff gets done.

So this leads me to ask: what IS real confidence? Do you know anyone who is truly confident? How would you know?

You know who I know who is really confident? My cat. No joke.

That's it for now.

[Junket]

b/c most of the world really doesn't give a shit about the gibbering monkey underneath. And I think that most ppl are aware, at least subconciously, that it usually is a sham for most ppl, but who wants to deal with a stranger's shit?

I thought we were talking about her boyfriend, not a stranger.

[IndiReloaded]

I thought we were talking about her boyfriend, not a stranger.

We are, but I'm setting up the argument here. You're precisely correct: SO are not the same as 'the rest of the world'. Tho, as Mish said, there are boundaries there too.

[Mish]

Oh, right, because I'm so mean like that...

My neuroses all pretty much lead back to a lack of ability to live up to my own potential and the harsh self-judgment that comes from my Inner Bitch.

I'm also just plain sucking with regard to finances lately. I need to do better about budgeting and paying attention to my work invoices so I have more money and spend it better. My boyfriend is vaguely aware of this circumstance, but has no idea that it keeps me awake at night.

I'm so good at appearing to be extremely high-functioning and adept (as a result of growing up in a very dysfunctional family), even when I feel like a total sham and have to go cry in the bathroom so no one sees.

I can't be the only person on this board who pretends to be totally together and just... isn't.

Haha, you wish you were the only person on this board who pretends to be totally together and just isn't. There's plenty of us right here with you Giga. Read my earlier comment re: everyone's sanity is questionable

Sorry Giga, I didn't realize my joke would bring out all of these feelings. I sincerely apologize.


...And you are not a sham! Don't let me catch you treating yourself like that again! I'll have to punish you with a hug.

[IndiReloaded]

Sorry Giga, I didn't realize my joke would bring out all of these feelings. I sincerely apologize.

You make me smile, Mish.

[Gigabitch]

Well, that's what we do here- overshare. I feel like I'm drunk at the company Christmas party, lifting my skirt up and hollering karaoke Donna Summer at everyone.

[Mish]

You make me smile, Mish.

This is the return on investment for making me smile for all these years. Your tab is still very full Indi

[CAM]

i think people should have at least enough confidence to be able to admit their faults and regard themselves as imperfect. i think it takes some confidence to be vulnerable.

It often takes cunning to be vulnerable. If one is smart, then you are clever, then you are "vulnerable" only when it suits you to be vulnerable...essentially, vulnerability to draw people in to you and then... Vulnerability is part of strategy.

[misombra]

damn you're paranoid.

but i agree.

[CAM]

damn you're paranoid.

but i agree.

A misuse of the word paranoid--I'm just a realist. A very hard-hearted realist....

But, I'm glad that you agree with me

[IndiReloaded]

It often takes cunning to be vulnerable. If one is smart, then you are clever, then you are "vulnerable" only when it suits you to be vulnerable...essentially, vulnerability to draw people in to you and then... Vulnerability is part of strategy.

Its totally a psych technique to pretend to be open about something to observe a response. I've done this often in a business setting to learn where I can trust my employees. But I wouldn't use the word vulnerable to describe this. And it has no place in close personal relationships, Cam. Certainly not longterm ones. You've got serious trust issues if you think this.

[vashti]

I agree with indi... that's not "vulnerable"; that is "calculating".

[CAM]

Love is a Battlefield...or so Pat B. used to say

Well, you are right of course...in a real relationship, it serves no purpose to use "strategery"

[DoesntMatter]

You make me smile, Mish.

Mish.... MISHKIN!!