Embarrassed towards girls

[sevag00]

Hi. I have a problem when talking to girls. My problem is that when a girl approaches towards me to have a chat, i immediately get embarrassed, my chicks start to turn red. And now i love a girl, and i want to tell her i have feelings for her, and when she says i have feelings for you too, we will sit down and talk, and i think that i am going to be embarrassed in front of the whole school, because i have this problem when talking to a random girl, so i stay away from girls, which i don't like it, but i must do that, so that i won't be humiliated. So, i want from you guys to give me some good advice regarding my problem.
Thanks

[Moonchild]

Start small. Force yourself to say hello to a girl, for starters, and go from there. The best way to get over fear and/or embarrassment is by gradual exposure. No matter what we tell you, you're not going to just be able to easily jump in and confidently confess your feelings to the girl you like--so start with the small stuff. You're thinking of girls as female first, people second. But it's the other way--girls /are/ just people. Slightly different than guys, I'll admit, but still the same basic stuff. You're not going to make a fool out of yourself. A lot of girls I know find a certain amount of shyness rather adorable--but that doesn't change the fact that you're going to have to jump into it, eventually. And when you don't know how to swim, it's a lot easier to start out by jumping into the shallow end.

[kyle/Scottish]

moonchild is right. take it easy, i was just the same back in my early years in secondary school. girls just caused a fear of embarrassed. i got over it. its slow and u will feel embarrassed but just push yourself. just tackle it again and again, and u will just gain confidence. they are just people, i actually found after i got over my avoidance of girls that i actually preferred there company. now most of my friends are girls, its weird how things turn out. i have used some personal experience. just go and do it, grit ur teeth (not literally ofc ) and dive in.

[v0ndutch]

And now i love a girl, and i want to tell her i have feelings for her, and when she says i have feelings for you too, we will sit down and talk, and i think that i am going to be embarrassed in front of the whole school

that's not going to happen, at least not in that order.

girls will never ever ever tell you that they have feelings for you before they know that you have feelings for them, and possibly hear you say it first. if you're waiting for her to say that she likes you first, you'll be waiting forever because it's not going to happen.

so then it's pretty clear why you're feeling shy. as a guy, i guess you're pretty much stuck having to tell the girl how you feel first; it probably sucks but that's the way things are (i'm not going to say something retarded like; "would you like to trade childbirth for it instead" because that's not a fair comparison and the two are unrelated). you have some reason to be nervous since you're stuck in the position of not knowing if the girl likes you or not.

for girls it's not really a problem. we play games and find out pretty quickly, especially during highschool. all we have to do is find out when you're going to be hanging out with your friends and ask to meet up during "that" time, making you have to pick between them or us. stuff like that tells us all we need to know, so we know how you feel about us way before you tell us.

so your dilema as a guy is not knowing the girl you like actually feels the same way. don't take this the wrong way, but as kids, you'll never be able to tell. girls will simply always be 3 or 4 steps ahead of you. so you shouldn't feel nervous, because there's really nothing you can do about it. talking to her friends will give it away, "because they're her friends, and when you're done talking, even if you tell them to not tell, they're going to go and tell her".

the best thing to do is just give it a shot. but in order to do that, you have to get over that nervousness you have. so start talking to girls, any girls. i think the more you talk, the more comfortable you'll be. and then, you can start talking to girls you actually like. and eventually, you won't feel nervous and you'll be able to tell someone that you like them.

[sevag00]

that's not going to happen, at least not in that order.

girls will never ever ever tell you that they have feelings for you before they know that you have feelings for them, and possibly hear you say it first. if you're waiting for her to say that she likes you first, you'll be waiting forever because it's not going to happen.

Yes, i know girls will never tell me or somebody else that they have feelings for me. But i said when i tell her i have feelings for you, then she might also tell me that i have feelings for you too

for girls it's not really a problem. we play games and find out pretty quickly, especially during highschool. all we have to do is find out when you're going to be hanging out with your friends and ask to meet up during "that" time, making you have to pick between them or us. stuff like that tells us all we need to know, so we know how you feel about us way before you tell us.

If you find out that quickly, i bet she never find out yet, even though my friends do some jokes on me, like if the teacher calls her, they shout towards me "go and help her". And even if she knew i like her, things wil be very different in class. I look at her all the time, and she never smiles to me.

so your dilema as a guy is not knowing the girl you like actually feels the same way. don't take this the wrong way, but as kids, you'll never be able to tell. girls will simply always be 3 or 4 steps ahead of you. so you shouldn't feel nervous, because there's really nothing you can do about it. talking to her friends will give it away, "because they're her friends, and when you're done talking, even if you tell them to not tell, they're going to go and tell her".

I know that, if i tell one of her friends, that i love her, and even thought she tells me it will be kept secret, i don't trust her, the secret will be swept all around the school. I have only told to my friends about it.

[Junket]

Yes, i know girls will never tell me or somebody else that they have feelings for me. But i said when i tell her i have feelings for you, then she might also tell me that i have feelings for you too

No. You don't understand. It's not that you're so pathetic that a girl will never tell you she has feelings for you too. It's that this romantic fantasy that's developed in your mind where she confesses her undying love to you right there is completely unrealistic.

It's like walking up to a stranger and saying "I love you.", and expecting it in return. They'll think you're a weirdo.

How old are you?

You can't be older than 13.

[GrkScorp]

If you find out that quickly, i bet she never find out yet, even though my friends do some jokes on me, like if the teacher calls her, they shout towards me "go and help her". And even if she knew i like her, things wil be very different in class. I look at her all the time, and she never smiles to me.

that being said, I think she already knows.. sorry to break your heart..

the fact that she's not looking at you (most likely) means she doesn't like you and doesn't want to give you attention so that she doesn't make a fool of herself around the class and her friends.. but.. (at best case means) she never smiles to you because she doesn't know yet..

if I was a girl.. and some guy friends shouted to a guy in class "go help her".. (it's pretty obvious what's going on).. not to mention if the guy (you) starts to blush, act shy, and says "no, it's ok" and then sits back down.. dead give away.. girls in HS don't need a golden letter sealed in blood to confirm that you like them.. YOU, maybe need that.. but girls, not really..

[sevag00]

No. You don't understand. It's not that you're so pathetic that a girl will never tell you she has feelings for you too. It's that this romantic fantasy that's developed in your mind where she confesses her undying love to you right there is completely unrealistic.

It's like walking up to a stranger and saying "I love you.", and expecting it in return. They'll think you're a weirdo.

How old are you?

You can't be older than 13.

I know what you mean, you may have understood my previous post wrong.
I am 17 years old. When i was 13, i didn't even think of loving a girl in school.

that being said, I think she already knows.. sorry to break your heart..

the fact that she's not looking at you (most likely) means she doesn't like you and doesn't want to give you attention so that she doesn't make a fool of herself around the class and her friends.. but.. (at best case means) she never smiles to you because she doesn't know yet..

if I was a girl.. and some guy friends shouted to a guy in class "go help her".. (it's pretty obvious what's going on).. not to mention if the guy (you) starts to blush, act shy, and says "no, it's ok" and then sits back down.. dead give away.. girls in HS don't need a golden letter sealed in blood to confirm that you like them.. YOU, maybe need that.. but girls, not really..

What i meant was not shouting. My friends sit next to me in class, and her friends also sit next to me and her, i.e. we all sit next to each other, they don't shout the second the teacher calls her, that would be very obvious, they shout in a low voice when she has reached besides the teacher. I guess, her friends should know by now i love her, and if they knew, they would've asked me "do you really love her?", and i didn't get a single question from them.

[Junket]

Your obsession is not love, fool.

[sevag00]

What do you mean?

[vashti]

He means you can't be in love yet... you haven't had time to establish a proper relationship. You are experiencing a crush.

Dating is all about numbers. If you ask enough girls out, one will eventually say yes. I don't know if this girl will go out with you or not, but you certainly won't find out until you ask. I do not think you should spill your heart to her, though. Just chat with her a bit, and if conversation goes well, ask her if she'd like to go catch a movie or something.

[DarkDwarf]

Your obsession is not love, fool.

Quoted for Truth

Pwnt! He is right though.

[sevag00]

He means you can't be in love yet... you haven't had time to establish a proper relationship. You are experiencing a crush.

Dating is all about numbers. If you ask enough girls out, one will eventually say yes. I don't know if this girl will go out with you or not, but you certainly won't find out until you ask. I do not think you should spill your heart to her, though. Just chat with her a bit, and if conversation goes well, ask her if she'd like to go catch a movie or something.

That is exactly what i am going to do, i've made up my mind. I am going to tell her i have feeling for you, then if she agrees to talk with me, then a few weeks later i will ask her to go out with me to catch a movie. That's the only thing i can do, in order not to lose her.

[vashti]

NOOO!!! Do NOT tell her you have feelings for her! You will scare her away! Don't you see? It is inappropriate for you to confess feelings for her at this point. You have a crush, hun... I know the feeling can be overwhelming, but this is all it is at this point.

You MUST play it cool, and pretend she is nothing more than a girl you have mild interest in. Have a NORMAL conversation with her. if the conversation goes well, then ask her to a movie. DO NOT tell her you have feelings for her until you have gone out on SEVERAL DATES... at least 6 or so. You must be relatively sure she has some level of interest in you before you tell her of your feelings, or she will think you are a creep.

[sevag00]

You know what the problem is, she is not a girl, i met her on the street, she is just a girl from my class. If the Americans do it the way you mentioned, don't think that the Lebanese people do the same. I can do the talking with her, but i cannot tell her to catch a movie with me for no reason. I gotta tell her i have a crush on you, and i wanna know you a little bit better, then a few weeks later i can plan a date.