I am not liking the Baby Momma "Drama"

[anthonee]

Damn, real life shi....stuff. I'm really tired of it all. I come so close to just calling it quits with my gf, but I realize that problems are bound to happen, and that the relationship would be "fake" if they didn't occur.

I'm going to try to answer some questions that was asked of me:

I don't have a court order for my daughter's visitation because we both wanted to keep the courts out of our lives. This hasn't been working out too well though, and I am pursuing a court order for visitation).

...that your daughter and your girlfriend will HATE each other, and they will both resent you for not protecting them from one another

Not sure about that one. I want my daughter to respect my gf or wife for who she is as an adult and a mom. I don't want her to think that she doesn't have to do what she says because she's not her real mom, you know.

...two minutes of cold-hearted description of just how ridiculous and insecure she was making her self look, not only to me but to my ex as well, making it very clear that it made her far less attractive to me every time she showed me how threatened she was by this person who is part of my past and impossible to get rid of.

Gigabitch, I am not that far away from this at all. After the conversation we (my gf) and I had tonight, she is really frustrating the hell out of me. I am sick of her insecurities in this matter. I'm on the verge of "looking at her with disgust".

My family continues to talk to her about my Baby Momma drama situation, and never to me, and that in itself frustrates me, but that's another story. I'm going to talk to them about that very shortly. Still, instead of ignoring the BS they confront her with, she get's upset with me, over and over again.

I feel my ex sometimes calls for attention. She has been calling about nonsense, but lately I've been cutting that out of the equation for a while now. It's just about my daughter, period. My gf, has absolutely no reason to be jealous. I am very loyal in general, and especially loyal to her.

I am in my girlfriend's son's life. I consider myself a positive influence in his life. I like him. He is very smart, and funny for such a young kid. I see myself in him. He reminds me of me when I was a kid.

So here we are. Wow, I can't believe how helpful this forum has been. Thank you for your continued input and advice.

[vashti]

Not sure about that one. I want my daughter to respect my gf or wife for who she is as an adult and a mom. I don't want her to think that she doesn't have to do what she says because she's not her real mom, you know..

Your daughter should show respect and be polite, of course. (I wasn't under the assumption your daughter was a brat, and most kids WANT to please the adults in their lives.) However, your girlfriend ISN'T her mother. Your daughter HAS a mother and a father. That is who should be parenting her... not some new woman who apparently has issues with her existence.

Think of this from your daughter's point of view. Why SHOULD she act like some new woman you have the warmies for is the equivelent of her mother? She didn't pick her. She already has a mommy and a daddy, and she would probably prefer they were married/together. Your girlfriend is the enemy invader who is (in your daughter's mind) destroying her family.

I think your girlfriend should be more concerned about gaining your kid's confidence and less worried about being her boss. If your daughter LIKES your girlfriend, the respects she shows her will be genuine rather than artificial, and she will behave accordingly. Kids are generally eager for approval.

My family continues to talk to her about my Baby Momma drama situation, and never to me, and that in itself frustrates me, but that's another story. I'm going to talk to them about that very shortly. Still, instead of ignoring the BS they confront her with, she get's upset with me, over and over again..

I don't understand... Does your family have a problem with your girlfriend or your daughter's mother? Because dude, if your family has issues with your girlfriend, you should pay attention. Your family cares about you AND your daughter's best interests, unless there is something wrong with them. Is there something wrong with them? They may be seeing signs you are choosing to overlook or diminish.
You are headed for big trouble.

[anthonee]

I don't understand... Does your family have a problem with your girlfriend or your daughter's mother? Because dude, if your family has issues with your girlfriend, you should pay attention.

My family has a problem, or problems with my ex. They had problems with her when she was my gf. Now, instead of talking to me about their feelings, they talk to my gf about them, and then she gets sad/frustrated about it, and brings her new issues to my attention.

I didn't tell them (my family) to talk about my past with her. They do it when I'm not around, like if I step out for a little while or something. My family likes my new gf, and think I made the right choice in finding her (finally). They weren't so "open armed" with my ex.

But yes...my local family is crazy. They do have problems. Well, one in particular atleast. The culprit.

I've volunteered to talk to my family about their continued yapping, for a lack of a better word, but my ex doesn't want to repeat what happened with my ex: me protecting the woman I'm with at the expense of family tranquility.