I need an advice! Please help me!

[heartbroken]

First of all I'd like to apologize if my english is not quite good because my native language is not english.

So here comes the story of my love...
I know her for almost 12 years, since little kids(now we are both 18 ). We started school at same class in my previous school. At the middle my first year in school I had to leave my country because of a professional engagement of my father. You know that at that age(7-year old) a boy could hardly know what love in its essence is. So I do not have the intention to lie to you that I had some hard feelings towards her at that time. She was nothing but a classmate for me. After one year me and my parents get back in my native land and I started to study in the same school and class as before. Step by step I became a good friend to the girl I now adore. We were sort of best friends. We played together, we were getting back from school to home together(we live(d) in same quarter in our city), we were having fun... That last till the fourth grade, when I started to realize that I was starting to feel some attraction to her, i felt her something more than a friend - she was not only the most beautiful girl in the class(for me), but also I found that she is an inteligent person with good sense of humour and very warm heart. I was scared and I made the most inexcusable mistake - I drew away from her, I was started to avoid her... Do not ask me why. I do not know myself!!! Maybe I was scared that I could lose the most precious thing in my life - our frindship. Maybe I just was not ready for a relationship! Maybe I thought she was going to parry my love...I don't know.
In sixth grade she moved to another school and I lost contact with her. So I know what the men mean when they say "You reallize how much you love something only when you lose it". It was very hard moment in my life. I lost my hope by being inactive, not active, as I though I was going to lose it. Later she came several times to our school to meet with the old friends in the school, but I didn't pluck up courage to talk to her about my feelings.
After 7th grade I applyed in one of the most prestigious high school in my country and I was admitted. For my surprise when the school year started I understand that she was admitted in the same school, too! We was meeting at the school but my fear pop up again and again I had been avoiding her... Later she began to date with a boy from the school and that last till very soon - I understand that they had broken up before Christmas and now she do not have a boyfrind. This is our last year in high school and I am very afraid of the probability that I could not tell her how much I love her... People say that time is the only judge... if it is so I could say that the judgement is "FELL IN LOVE FOREVER" - For the whole my life I had loved only her, I had been attracted to other girls but I know she is the ONE.
So please, everybody, give me an advice - should I talk to her, or just leave the things as they are now - just to accept that I had lost my chance and I should forget her. I know that it seems like an easy choice but believe me it will be more than hard for me - I am a shy person!

P.S. This story strikingly resembles the story of "Ally McBeal", but believe me - it is REAL!!! Not just a show, not just a movie!!!

[Illusional]

to make this short and simple... i'll leave you with this quote

"it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all"


raverboy