OK this is for all the guys out there

[MisINdpndT]

Allright well my boyfriend and i have been together for a lil over 2.5 years.. and he lost his virginity to me... but that was like ummmm 2 years ago... he still doesnt have the staying power... The majority of the time he cums b4 me.. and some times right b4 I do and mines goes away... even when we do use condoms its the same way... how long did it take you to get the staying power and keeping your amy under control????

[Bonovox40]

COMMUNICATION! Best thing in the world between people with questions about one another. Make sure he knows that you're concerned about it BUT make sure he knows he isn't being blamed for something.

If he care about you and thinks he isn't pleasing you, that's a big kick to the balls feeling inside. Basically telling a guy he doesn't satify you is the same thing as saying "You have a 1 inch penis".

He might THINK that it's ok for him to finish quickly. He might even be nervous now, regardless of 2 years. Maybe he's looking for some spark to the sex if it's always the same. There's many possibilities but the best way to find out is to TALK to him and be HONEST and OPEN about it. Don't keep secrets in the sex department. The more you know about each other, the more you can enjoy what you each can give.
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Now let's say he's having a great time but just can't keep going that long. There's quite a few ideas.

1. Easiest (and pluses to being safe) is to get a Durex Performax (or similar brand) condom. What it has in it is a gel substance that is basically like novocaine that the dentists use. It melts from the heat of the penis and basically coats the outer skin. (It doesn't affect you because it doesn't penetrate the latex) It numbs a guys penis somewhat so there isn't so much sensation from sex. I find that if I need one that the normal amount inside is usually too much for me. (I lose TOO much sensation and get soft which isn't fun) So I turn it inside out and pick off about half of the gell and that's usually enough to stay hard, yet go a LONG time.

2. Easy and fun to do - Concentrate more on foreplay and oral. If he can get you off or close orally, and then switch to sex, then it's usually only a matter of moments before you can get off. Plus you can rub yourself too to keep the sensation (somewhat) of being licked down there. If he isn't that great orally, then help him practice practice practice! Communicate! Tell him what feels good, what spot works best, to change when something doesn't feel good.

3. Change positions - Most men have certain positions that make it easier, or harder for them to come. Missionary for me is relativly difficult to hold off an orgasm if I feel it on the way. But on my back, with a woman on top, is very effective for prolonging sex.
Try different positions. You might be surprised at what can happen. Maybe you've only gotten off missionary, but if you're on top you can grind and move and CONTROL where he is inside you and you can basically force him to hit the right spots.

4. For him. Practice holding off and strengthen PC muscles. Do a search online for PC muscles and most likely, you'll find articles on helping prevent premature ejaculation. It's basically a guy flexing his prostate as if he was trying to pee or the reverse and holding back from peeing. If he doesn't know, have him pee and then stop quickly in mid stream. That muscle he flexed is his PC muscle. Same thing if he has a boner and can make it wiggle by flexing. There are helpful guides out there.

5. Cock ring. Cheap and easy to use. These put pressure on the base of the penis and basically prevent the urge to orgasm. I find they work great and keep you rock hard as well. There's even some that you can wear around the base of his balls to prevent sperm from travelling up and out. (basically)

6. Helping him find ways to adjust. Sometimes just changing pace, angle of thrusting or speed can prevent an orgasm. If he's going at you like a jackhammer and feels like coming, then continuing to jackhammer isn't going to stop him now will it? If he slows down or changes his thrusts, it might be enough to get him out of that momentum and let his horniness relax some.

7. Masturbate prior. If he can come more than once a day and enjoy it, have him masturbate before sex. It will decrease some sensation and probably take longer to come during sex. I've never heard anyone prove this otherwise. So if you don't mind waiting or having it be planned, this can be good as well.

So there's lots of things to consider. Best thing is you're willing to do something about it and not just ready to up and leave him because of sex. Never a good reason to begin or break a relationship. It's just too bad you haven't tried to work on this issue sooner. 2 years of not being totally satisfied kinda sucks. But perhaps a little work will make it all worthwhile afterwords.

Good luck! Have fun and be safe! You said you "sometimes" wear condoms. Never ever, do it without some SOLID birth control. Condom, Pill, Patch, norplant.

[MisINdpndT]

Well thank you bono... we have had a talk and he hates it... he just cant help it... and i cant help it because it feels amazing when we make love even though i dont cum because of what i feel for him (but he says when i moan or when im about to cum i tell him and that makes him go)... he knows i dont blame him at all... i just wanted to see if maybe suggesting things to him... and we try different stuff all the time if we can thing of a new way... HEHE
And i am safe... im on birth control.. and he pulls out all the time...

[BillyGalbreath]

I have to admit I have had the premature promblem more than once before - And I ussually can tell when a girl orgasms or not.

Luckily (and sometimes not a good thing) I stay hard for like 10 minutes after I blow. So Even tho I might not fel anything after I blow I just keep doing my thing until SHE is done. Maybe he can do this ? Or am I just weird and it is 'normal' to go limp as soon as you blow ?

[Bonovox40]

(but he says when i moan or when im about to cum i tell him and that makes him go)

I've had the same thing happen. Not all the time, but it has and it is a bummer. I've had that "I'm gonna cum soon, don't stop." and i'm like "Huh?" *splort*! "Damn it!"

Not a "good" orgasm of course. But there's times when she's been ready to blow and I just smile and let her blow her top. And then later I take care of me at my own pace.

You guys are young (I think), it gets more comfortable with age as you become more comfortable and AWARE of what you do/feel. If he's REALLY preoccupied with wondering "will I make it this time?", he'll have difficulties. Nervousness in guys translates to premature, or take forever to come. I'm sure some women would enjoy the second but it can be frustrating to the guy. It's not a mutual satisfaction and that's always an important thing. BOTH of you should enjoy what you do. Of course there's going to be times you don't get off but it should still be fun. If it doesn't work intercourse-wise, (some women NEVER get off that way) then try other things. Oral, fingers, toys, etc. Don't walk away NOT feeling good if you know you can. If you personally can't get off by yourself, don't expect him to.

Perhaps be verbal but don't tell him you're going to cum until it happens. It's great hearing "I'm coming!" as opposed to "I'm going to come soon.." and never having it happen. He shouldn't be focused on having "simultaneous orgasms" either. It's difficult to time them just right and they're not going to change the world if you do. Sure, it's fun to get off at the same time, but sex is sex and as long as you both get off, it shouldn't matter.

So try some of those things I recommended. Also one other thing is if he's getting close to orgasm, if he (or you) pulls it out and squeezes the base of where the head and shaft meet and squeeze from the topside to underneath, that usually hits a nerve that deadens the sensation to orgasm. THere is a scientific term for that but I can't remember. It's been documented.

For fun though I recommend him giving you more oral prior to sex. I wouldn't give it to him because that will most likely just get him closer to orgasm before sex and you'll lose extra minutes.
Or just try out those condoms. A couple bucks to try isn't so bad.

[Bonovox40]

Luckily (and sometimes not a good thing) I stay hard for like 10 minutes after I blow. So Even tho I might not fel anything after I blow I just keep doing my thing until SHE is done. Maybe he can do this ? Or am I just weird and it is 'normal' to go limp as soon as you blow ?

I've had this happen too. And many times just kept going and got her off because she wasn't focused on my orgasms and I kept quiet. Most women lose that drive when a guy comes because they're like "Oh, he's done already. Guess that's it for me too. Oh well."

She thought I was still going so there wasn't any reason to wonder so she kept enjoying it and was already close and got off. Good way out of a flub.

Doesn't always happen though. But I think often the constant friction after coming can be an "irritation" to the penis and keep it hard in response. Sometimes it isn't a good thing and hurts everntually without that refractory period. Maybe just me though.

[BillyGalbreath]

well when i blow, i blow ! lmao thats why i cant feel anything - it is just way too lubricated - she feels everything tho (i am assuming, unless it was all fake) but i felt not a damn thing after I blew - and yeah, it only happened prolly 20-30 times like that in 2 years. aint too bad seeing we did it like 2 or 3 times a day for 2 years. lol

[Bonovox40]

well when i blow, i blow ! lmao thats why i cant feel anything - it is just way too lubricated - she feels everything tho (i am assuming, unless it was all fake) but i felt not a damn thing after I blew - and yeah, it only happened prolly 20-30 times like that in 2 years. aint too bad seeing we did it like 2 or 3 times a day for 2 years. lol

Yeah, that happens too. Everything either goes numb or really friggins sensitive, like someone hitting your funny bone. That's pretty much all the time so when I blow, i'm done for a long time typically. Have no problems doing more things in other ways to the ladies but my soldier goes awol for awhile.

My friend still doesn't get how I can't wack off 3-4 times a day on average. I'm more like 2-3 times a week. (unless i'm getting some) He's doing 2-3 times a day while still getting some from his wife a few times a week! That's crazy to me, but he's also a gonad with legs. He downloads hundreds of megs of porn daily. He says he feels sorry for his wife, but he just can't get enough. I find it hard to find someone that has a drive lower than mine.
It pisses me off because I WANT to have sex more often, my body just won't let me. But i'd be happy being with someone who likes it at least once a day.

Most women do until work/sleep/school get in the way. Then they shut down sexually and that's what his wife is doing. She gets up at like 5, drives an hour or so to work. Comes home around 8. Helps get dinner ready. Eats, talks for a bit and falls asleep. No time for sex and if they do, she's cranky in the morning. Not a good arrangement time-wise. Oh, to be young and not have to worry about living a life outside of sex. lol

[inkystink]

I can go on thru the night. Tell him to think about elephants. That'll get his mind off advancing his little troopers. The best way to do it is not to think about it. Also, have you tried a penis ring?

[Clifton]

See i never got this, ive never had this problem.

[Clifton]

and Billy its not just you..i can actually keep going after i cum and cum again, but it usually requires SO much work for me to do- only if im really turned on will i try to come again. but usually my dick can just stay hard as long as i hit it Hard enough that i can feel something