Protestant Family and my search for truth.

[anachronistic]

I was born in a protestant family that advocates the teachings of Christianity. My grandfather is in fact a Lutheran pastor. My family was the strict Christian family that went to church every Sunday, said prayers every meal, and actively read the Bible from time to time.

As a small child I had difficulty accepting* the faith, and after doing so have questioned the existence of God. I was never very open about it. In my high school years, I began losing faith, although actively taking part in a youth group (I stopped going to church) I realized that science has begun to disprove many things of Christianity. I felt disgraced by people who tried to shove Christianity down other people's throats. It was, however, the personality of God that bothered me the most. I didn't like they way many people were hypocritical, committing the same sins every week, then coming to church to 'repent', as they sat there lusting over how they'd commit the sins soon after church.

It was a lot of things, still many things that I am unconscious of.

Anyway, I have become more active in answering my questions about the afterlife, or what there is hereafter. While searching for an answer, I stumbled across some basic teachings of Buddha, that made perfect sense to me. After studying the believes for a few weeks now, I am happy to admit that I have adopted it as my religion. I don't want it to be a secret, and I started sharing openly admitting it to my friends whenever religion was discussed. I have recently told my mother. I felt very odd doing so, because Buddhism is foreign to my mother. I doubt she would approve of it if she realized that it wasn't a Chinese Christianity. The same goes with all my other strong protestant relatives. I think my grandpa would have the most difficulty accepting it.

My mother was recently discussing with me the shithole that my brother's life is drifting into; how he is nearly failing his senior year in high school, how his 2 year long relationship has ended, how he has been actively doing drugs for a few months now, how he was sent to jail for paraphernalia, and how he was recently fired (again) from his second place of employment in the small town that they live in. She asked me to pray for him, and all I could say was "He is in my thoughts", which she questioned. I reminded her that I have recently adopted a different religion, and now have a queazy feeling in my stomach about all this. I foresee a gigantic Christian penis being shoved up my ass, if you catch my drift. I know that when I go home for Christmas break, my mother will get in my face and question me about it.

I feel discouraged to choose my own religion, I feel like a bad person, as if I am letting my family down. I feel selfish. For those of you who have gone through a similar experience, if even indirectly through a friend or someone you know, please share with me things that will help me get through this.

[IndiReloaded]

Here LW, you may find this interesting:

[url]http://www.bswa.org/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?cid=4&lid=444[/url]

[vashti]

You converted after studying for a few WEEKS? I'm surprised they even allowed you to do that. I had to study for one year before I was allowed to convert, and I didn't feel even THAT was adequate to make such an important decision, so I studied for a few years more. I felt obligated to have an adult understanding of what I was turning away from, what other paths I could choose to take, and obviously what I eventually embraced. I also studied what critics had to say about each of the religions I studied, so really, three weeks seems awfully hasty.

Anyway, you have to be willing to pay the price for turning away from that which many members of your family embrace. If you aren't willing to pay the price, you shouldn't have done it. I don't know many people who *don't* have issues with family members after converting. Also, keep in mind that to a true believer, what you have done has SERIOUS consequences. You have condemned yourself to Hell, after all. I think I can understand why your relatives would have a problem with that. Maybe you should try looking at this from their perspective.

Also, how is this going to work during Christmas? Maybe you should make other plans so as not to spoil their holiday.

[DoesntMatter]

I realized that science has begun to disprove many things of Christianity.

I felt disgraced by people who tried to shove Christianity down other people's throats.

how he was sent to jail for paraphernalia,

For those of you who have gone through a similar experience, if even indirectly through a friend or someone you know, please share with me things that will help me get through this.

1) Science does not disprove many aspects of Christianity. I'm majoring in ****ing biochemistry and saying that. It is a lifestyle. Turning the other cheek when someone "hits" you (in any meaning of the word), feeding the hungry, helping the homeless, etc. Science does not disprove that, and that is what Christianity is all about, following the teachings of Jesus Christ

2) It's too bad people are forcing Christianity on others from wherever you are from. Around here, atheists are always shoving their beliefs down peoples throats to the point of gagging. Always mocking Christians for being self-righteous, bigoted idiots just because they go to church.

3) That's a rotten shame. Drug laws in this country are ****ed up. But if your brother is smoking crack... That's more to be worried about than a prison sentence

4) My mom is very religious and one of the best Christians I have ever known in the truest sense. This is why I hate Christian bashing so much, it's like people are attacking my mother, in which case I would like to kill such people. The problem arises because I don't follow Christians teachings, even though I think they are good. I swear, have done certain drugs, get drunk a lot although I've been cutting back for a few months, and am far less scrupulous in ways that I don't care to share.

What this amounts to is my mom becoming concerned for me, she will approach me and calmly tell me I should go to church or read one of Jesus' parables or whatever they are called, tell me there is such thing as definite right and wrong (to which I disagree), if I drop a racial slur it bothers her, etc. So what do I do?

Just placate her. You should do the same lilwing. It's the easiest thing. Just nod your head and say "OK, ok... Yeah.... I know..." I do that to calm my mom down when she gets concerned about me. Just today she was saying "Mike, someday you're going to find a nice girl that you can start a family with and etc etc", basically telling me to find a good girlfriend. She would shit a brick if she knew I've been debating hiring an escort. Just keep it on the DL!

[IndiReloaded]

You converted after studying for a few WEEKS? I'm surprised they even allowed you to do that.

Lol, Vash. There's no 'conversion' in buddhism and no 'allowed'. Its not at all like what you are used to. There's no 'entrance exam' like in other religions.

I know you are interested in religion. You should learn more about buddhism and how its practiced, you'll find it interesting.

[IndiReloaded]

Just placate her. You should do the same lilwing. It's the easiest thing. Just nod your head and say "OK, ok... Yeah.... I know..." I do that to calm my mom down when she gets concerned about me.

This is good advice, LW.

[vashti]

Lol, Vash. There's no 'conversion' in buddhism and no 'allowed'. Its not at all like what you are used to. There's no 'entrance exam' like in other religions.

I know you are interested in religion. You should learn more about buddhism and how its practiced, you'll find it interesting.

I know a little bit about buddhism - enough to know that it is in many ways very compatible with Judaism, and also why I wouldn't be able to embrace it.

As for the "entrance exams", I wasn't aware that there were very many religions that had them. However, I am in favor of them. I think people are generally too quick to embrace something they don't know much about.

[anachronistic]

Anyway, you have to be willing to pay the price for turning away from that which many members of your family embrace. If you aren't willing to pay the price, you shouldn't have done it. I don't know many people who *don't* have issues with family members after converting. Also, keep in mind that to a true believer, what you have done has SERIOUS consequences. You have condemned yourself to Hell, after all. I think I can understand why your relatives would have a problem with that. Maybe you should try looking at this from their perspective.

Also, how is this going to work during Christmas? Maybe you should make other plans so as not to spoil their holiday.

Vashti, I have not been 'officially' converted as you were by a Jewish Rabbi.

And I do not disagree with everything in the bible. I am simply searching for truth in different religions. Maybe labeling myself as Buddhist is partially incorrect; I'm unitarian because of the things in Christianity that I agree with. You do make some good points that help me understand their side. I think if I explain that to her she will be less worried.

[vashti]

Perhaps I misunderstood. I consider the adoption of a new religion to be a "conversion", and the following statements led me to believe you had adopted a new religion.

After studying the believes for a few weeks now, I am happy to admit that I have adopted it as my religion.

I reminded her that I have recently adopted a different religion, and now have a queazy feeling in my stomach about all this.

I feel discouraged to choose my own religion, I feel like a bad person, as if I am letting my family down.

If you really aren't adopting a new religion, then what's the problem?

[Only-virgins]

Here is the thing about religion, It is all Bullshi*t.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)

[anachronistic]

Lol, Vash. There's no 'conversion' in buddhism and no 'allowed'. Its not at all like what you are used to. There's no 'entrance exam' like in other religions.

I know you are interested in religion. You should learn more about buddhism and how its practiced, you'll find it interesting.

lol indie made a funny

[vashti]

I don't really think you know enough about ANY religion to embrace one, lilwing. I like certain aspects of Christianity. That doesn't make me a Christian. To say you are a Buddhist after "studying" for three weeks just trivializes the religion and yourself.

[Gribble]

Here is the thing about religion, It is all Bullshi*t.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)

One of my favorite quotes. That statement is what lead me to consider that maybe the crap they were teaching me in Catholic school was really just a lot of nonsense.

[anachronistic]

I don't really think you know enough about ANY religion to embrace one, lilwing.

I think you're wrong about that, Vashti.

Here is the thing about religion, It is all Bullshi*t.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)

Atheism is a religion, believe it or not. Accept it or not.

[run2white]

I've been there, lilwing. There are no answers that are going to satisfy your curiosity. There are interesting and admirable attributes most, if not all religions and life-philosophies.

I think you're on the same path that I found myself on many years ago, and that's questioning God by the imperfect reflection or our humanity.

This is a life-long journey of discovery. There is no sudden enlightenment. Take your time, no need to reject one set of beliefs for another. Accept them all for what they are and accept your family for who they are. They sound very imperfect, but very much there for you. That's what it's really all about.

______________________________________

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." –Jesus

What does that have to do with what religion you choose?