I cant take another day of this

[8monthsoftortur]

Hey,

I really could use some advice or just someone to talk to. All my other friends hear this shit so much they dont want to talk about it so It leaves me with onyl my thoughts and Its driving me crazyy..

SO heres the story,

October 2006 Me and my first love Jane* got together. At first we were both very hesitant because heres the shocker... were both girls. Im bisexual... she says shes not. She said im the only girl shes ever liked liek that. But anyways... so we fell in love.. hard. We dropped evrything for eachother.. all our other friends, our families.. we basically lost ourselves in eachother.

We were almost to the point of obsession with eachother. We stayed together for 7 months until she broke up with me. I was so hurt. I hated her so much, especially sinc she didnt even give me a real reason.

So we stopped talking for four months. Until one day I went see one of my friends at the mall( shes Jane bestfriend.. i know weird). So i got to her booth and she told me that Jane was at the mall.( I forgot to say this but almost everyone knew about me and Jane). So i was like alright i dont need this so me and my friend ryan left.

So when we got home my friend from the mall called me and asked me if i was still in the mall. I told her no and asked her why and she said cuz Jane wanteed to seee you.


Well my friend ended up giving JAne my number (without my consent)and she called me. Well actually texted me first. So we set up a little lunch date. When we first saw eachother, I could literally feel the connection and i could tell she did too. So i acted like I was doing good. Well to be honest I really was doing good, I finally learned to love me again without needed Jane. But anyways, we talked about our whole breakup and how she couldnt take the pressure of being with me and blah blah balh.\


So that was about a month ago. Right now we see eahcother almost everyday. Kiss, tell eachother we love eachother but heres the problem. She has a boyfriend and theyve been dating for a while. She said she cant just break up with him... its not that easy... but I dont understand. I thought love was love and when yor in love with someone your suppose to be with them. No matter whos in the equation. But he gave her a ring and she wears it everyday. I just need advice. I feel trapped. Like i cant be without her in my life. She cant be without me either. I just need someone to smack me and give me the strength to do something about it.


Anyone??

[sticko]

Honestly I've been in a situation like this. except I was in the spot of her bf. It hurts like hell to think your love is cheating on you. Tell her to break it off with him or it wont end good. It just isn't right.

[8monthsoftortur]

i know its not right. trust me i know. i walk around with guilt all day. i really just need someone thats been in my situation to tell me what i can do to get myself out of this situation.

[bloodtippedrose]

I thought love was love and when yor in love with someone your suppose to be with them. No matter whos in the equation.

When people love each other they devote all of themselves to each other. This quote from you is from your perspective looking at her but look at it the other way, pointed to you.. If she loved you like she says she would want to be with YOU, no matter whats happened with others YOU and only you. She is screaming that shes not ready to commit to you. First she dumped you, left you in the dust, no explaination. You deserve better than that right there. That was your que to be like "fine your loss" and never speak again so she could learn from her mistakes. Now she tells you she wants to be with you but is in a relationship with someone else? Guy or girl she is cheating! If she ended up choosing you who knows if she would turn around and cheat on you! And third she wont leave this guy. That should be it for you. she has a choice, to be with him and love him, or to be with you, and she already told you in so many ways that she doesnt want to be with you but doesnt want to hurt you.

Whatever the case it really seems like she is not sure about her sexual orientation and needs time to find that out instead of being confused as all hell. Remember that you are treated how you allow people to treat you, and right now shes treating you like leftovers. You deserve a lady and you know it, you shouldnt allow yourself to be strung along until its convienient for her to decide your fate.

[Mathias]

She needs to break it off with him. It's not fair to you at ALL.

If she doesn't, you need to get out.

[8monthsoftortur]

thank you everyone so much. especially you bloodtippedrose. You said exactly what I needed to hear.You wont believe but your the first person to make me realize that this shit is so dumn and im so tired of it. I ended it today and Im sure Ill be sad tomorow but i gotta keep my head up. The only thing Im scared of now is that i wont find anyone else or feel that strongly about anyone again. Ill always love Jane, but I guess i gotta love myself more..


Again Thank you,
Ill be printing out your words and reading it every morning.

[bloodtippedrose]

thank you everyone so much. especially you bloodtippedrose. You said exactly what I needed to hear.You wont believe but your the first person to make me realize that this shit is so dumn and im so tired of it. I ended it today and Im sure Ill be sad tomorow but i gotta keep my head up. The only thing Im scared of now is that i wont find anyone else or feel that strongly about anyone again. Ill always love Jane, but I guess i gotta love myself more..


Again Thank you,
Ill be printing out your words and reading it every morning.

aww how sweet! After a breakup its really common to feel unwanted. You have to be really stong and stop yourself from contacting her and going back to her. If you can pull through it is very worth it and youll be proud of yourself for not putting up with that bull You might think youre unwanted and get depressed over it but you have to remember youre a fox and girls are lucky to be with you and you shouldnt put up with less. Personally, I think it is better to be alone and awesome then with someone and unappreciated.

[8monthsoftortur]

haha i hope so. Todays a little rough... I woke up feeling like i lost something really big. I think its just her not texting me or alling me and KNOWING shes with him and doesnt give a shit hurts like hell. But I knew I would feel like this the next day. I gotta do somethin to keep my mind off.

[LostNotFound]

this girl is messing with your feelings. give her an ultimatum you or him

[8monthsoftortur]

i know i shouldnt have to. And i did give her an ultimatum and she didnt say the words exactly but she chose him.

i feel so lost. like im glad im not putting myself through this anymore... but on the other side... i feel like i lost the only thing real in my life.

she wasnt only my lover she was my best friend and i feel betrayed.

i honestly felt we had some connection that no one could break. i think thats what hurts the most

[Aidan]

These situations are never easy. Unfortunately, if she felt the same about you, she'd want to be with you, not him. As it stands, it looks like she wants her bread buttered on both sides.

You'd be better off severing all ties. Either she'll realise what she's missing and come back to you or (more likely) you'll be able to get on with your life and find someone who treats you like you deserve.

Good luck.

[Mish]

She said she cant just break up with him... its not that easy... but I dont understand. I thought love was love and when yor in love with someone your suppose to be with them. No matter whos in the equation. But he gave her a ring and she wears it everyday. I just need advice. I feel trapped. Like i cant be without her in my life. She cant be without me either.

I think you have answered this for yourself. She can't be without you? If she couldn't be without you then would she be wearing her guy's ring? Would she have broken up with you in the first place? And right nowwouldn't she be with you instead of him? That's what would've happened if she couldn't be without you.

So, it looks like she really can be without you. And very easily at that. You just need to recognize that.

[bloodtippedrose]

this girl is messing with your feelings. give her an ultimatum you or him

Dont waste your time with ultimatum' s and dont you DARE go back to her.. again! Youre young, it might suck being single for a while but you can flirt with anyone guilt free and hot girls will come along that will devote all of themselves to you. Dont let anyone step on you girly.

[8monthsoftortur]

so far ive been strong but shes trying to make me feel guilty about all of this. I have to literally slap myself when i pick up my phone. I just want to text her. I seriously miss her so much.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, please! The cheater is trying to make YOU feel guilty? Look, I know you love her and all, but she is really a piece of work, isn't she?

You have to stop letting her hurt you.