Girl I know

[Mish]

^^ Cliff Notes

Seeing yourself as a great catch gives you extra confidence and makes it more natural for you to create value in the mind of the girl. People are drawn to value as long as it's natural and it's shared. It also makes you less nervous.

>>I agree with that

[IndiReloaded]

This works for women as well as men. The reason we are uncomfortable around other ppls weakness is b/c it reminds us of our own. Its natural to want to seek the best from others.

[Only-virgins]

^^ Cliff Notes

Seeing yourself as a great catch gives you extra confidence and makes it more natural for you to create value in the mind of the girl. People are drawn to value as long as it's natural and it's shared. It also makes you less nervous.

>>I agree with that

He said a lot more than that actually.

[Only-virgins]

I'm going to just talk about a really oversimplified model:

Unconscious mind (Picks up on secondary information, processes it) ---> Conscious mind (Picks up on primary info, processes it, gets info from UC mind and rationalizes it as intuition/feeling/premenition/instinct/choice)

Now, 7% of all communication is based on verbal content.. the other 93% is based on (tone of voice, speech patters, speed of talking, and non-verbal communication)

Your conscious mind, picks up on just 7% of this communication and can at times get "overloaded" and not be able to process all of it.. The only thing we can make note of that's important for this discussion is that the conscious mind will take the 7% of the info it has, and the 93% of the info it gets from the UC mind, and make a "choice".. you can then see that this 93% of info plays a large role on the feelings/intuition/premenition/instinct/etc your conscious mind will make.. at it will feel as if it make a "choice"

Maybe you said "are you ready for it?".. or maybe you said "ugh! what's that smell? did you just fart?".. it doesn't really matter THAT much.. it's not about WHAT you're saying.. but HOW you say it..

Example:

- Girl walks into an elevator; she says "Mmm.. that looks good, I could really go for some pizza right now.. lunch?" (I'm already not interested; even though she's a 7.5)

- Girl walks into an elevator; she says "A little warm outside to be all dressed like that don't you think?" (Competent flirting, she caught my interest, and she was a 7!)

What happened? It must be that I don't like women who comment on my pizza, but love women who are sarcastic and comment on my lack of clothing during a cold day.. Obviously not.. It just has to do with what else is going on here..

In the first case, the girl was nervous, uncertain if she was worthy enough, that was a turn-off and unattractive.. all of that from her eyes, facial expression, and voice.. her body was frozen in place trying hard to not expose any emotion.. the UC picked it up.. and whatever she said went through that filter.. right away.. the more she talked.. the more disinterested I grew..

In the second case, the girl was lively, confident, smiled, was chearful, her voice was content & relaxed, her body was natural, her facial expressions and eyes were expressive, warm, friendly, and natural.. And they both practically said the same thing.. but totally different reactions internally in my mind..

So when you said something to her.. maybe you sounded like you were trying too hard to hold her attention.. to keep the conversation going.. maybe you conveyed pushy-ness, needy-ness.. maybe your voice showed it was nervous, as if it didn't feel worthy to be around and talking to someone like her.. maybe not enough eye contact (not staring! just confident, relaxed, warm, expressive eye contact).. your voice (expressive, rich, soothing, commanding, powerful).. or maybe you were reacting TOO much to her..

- Tragic mistake (and it's not a guy's fault).. when you feel a girl interested in you.. you get happy, and you start reacting.. maybe you smile too much, move around too much, maybe you're a little too lively and hyper, maybe you start talking faster and your voice inflection changes completely.. when that happens.. you change the entire vibe (the vibe she was comfortable feeling, and was starting to grow attracted to)

Notice if you had a different state of mind:

- You would be doing her a favor to still be there talking to her and giving her your attention (it's not cocky, for as long as you don't make it cocky.. you can still be a friendly and warm guy and radiate this message.. people will be drawn to you because you have such value to add to the interaction, but you're not cocky, instead you're friendly and warm and give them the chance/privilage to enjoy your company.. it's your gift to them, and unless they give you some reason to stay, unless they DO/SAY something that sparks your interest, they might lose that value you provide very quickly)

When it's your state of mind, obviously the verbal content changes a little, but the change you REALLY notice is in the actions you'll make, timing, voice, speech patters, and non-verbal communication.. You also won't be looking for reasons to keep her attention.. (you don't really care!).. that's not to say that you won't keep the interaction fun.. but this is YOUR world.. and she's a pawn in it.. if you don't find her interesting or fun.. YOU lose interest and excuse yourself.. not the other way around..

This State of Mind is the most powerful DHV you can have.. and remember (not cocky "unless with 10s, they go crazy for cocky", just be warm, friendly, and fun while you have this state of mind)

- Imagine that popular girl/guy in HS or College who was "too good" to hang out with your group.. You really didn't like her/him.. you rationalized it as "ugh, what a b*tch/jerk".. and rightfully so, we're not attracted to such people, because they're not good for our own ego.. But imagine if she/he came over to your group and was friendly, open, and warm towards you.. started sharing her/his value with your group.. and as you feel yourself opening up and warming up to them.. notice how you see that same person through a different light.. That's because you're convinced of their high value, but are now given the chance/privilage to enjoy it! That's powerful, and that's what's going on when you have that State of Mind..

Also notice how this ties into Frame Control! When you have this State of Mind internalized and natural.. you automatically & instinctively control the frame and never give it up.. When you study Covert Persuasion enough, you'll reach the point where you'll have ZERO resistance to getting control of the frame.. you'll actually convince people that they are having more fun when the spotlight is shining on you.. when you are the ring-master.. and naturally.. the entire group accepts you as the leader of the group.. again.. powerful..

In your case.. I think it's natural, and it's happened to all of us when we got a little nervous around someone.. we did something stupid.. or maybe we did something "normal", but in reality, unconsciously, we projected our nervousness through our delivery.. And the way to correct that is NOT through the conscious! State of Mind is NOT conscious.. it's ALL unconscious! You can't FAKE it.. you can only BE it! (for more on that.. make a thread called "Inner Game" and i'll expand on that.. if you're willing to allow yourself to be hypnotized "as much as it's possible via online-text", i'll try and help remove some universal & personal sticking points)

You can't BE what you are not, you can only try and fake it. You are what you are....right? I think you pretty much nailed it with how I blew it. I noticed she was becoming un-interested with something I said...or the way I said it...and as she began to slowly gain some little distance and stopped looking at me I said something like "that room is really far away"...at that point it was over. That was probably that most retarded thing I could say but I just thought the conversation was over if I didn't say something, anything. I can't believe someone can walk up to you with interest when they like the way you look and just get so quickly uninterested with the smallest thing.

I'll make the thread called "Inner Game". Can't help it, I'm interested. I know I radiate nervousness when I talk.

[sakura102789]

im just feeling the same sitution though in differnt way..
huh wat a life...
but as i noticed let the girl moved on
"I remember the boy but i dont remember the feeling anymore"-thats what should he do....

[anachronistic]

Well, she kind of stopped talking to be about it. She started talking with some other guy in our little clique, about it. Bah, I doubt there is any chance of anything happening now.

I think I need to actively search for a girlfriend. But maybe I shouldn't. I don't know where to start..

[GrkScorp]

I don't know where to start..

In the supermarket, specifically in the ice cream section..

Think about it.. it's like seeing a guy in a flower-shop.. if it's not valentine's day.. chances are he's a wimp who messed up big-time..

Similarly, if she's not comming there with kids, and not comming there with a guy.. she's fair game.. stroll around the section with a shopping cart full of whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and strawberries..

[Kiechi]

Sell yourself?

[anachronistic]

I think my problem is not getting out enough, and when I get out, I am shyer than hell. Maybe I need to smile a little more and be more cheery and joking.

I don't know what that guy has that I don't have... I see myself as better than him... he is kind of nerdy, and he slouches when he walks. I am quite fit. And the thing is, he is a real asshole, not very friendly, and I am the kind of guy that will respect you unless you mess with me. Perhaps I am overanalyzing something...

[Kiechi]

When you call my name, it's like a little prayer, I'm down on my knees, I wanna' take you there.

[anachronistic]

Another song?