I love you?!?!?!?!?

[Thatguy92790]

Well this girl and I talk. We talk about a great deal of things...Ranging from her boyfriend (who she claims she is falling out of love with) to what it would be like if we could ever have a relationship. While I'm in bed at night is when we talk the most. She tells me she wishes she was here with me so she would fall asleep in my arms, kiss me, ETC. So I know it isn't a friendship "in the norm" Well before we go to sleep she tells me she loves me. This is where the confusion comes in. I love her in a friendship ONLY way. I'm not sure if she feels the same way about those 3 little yet strong words.

Well...I've never told her I love her, and I feel like a complete dick because I know it makes her feel like crap because I don't say it back. I don't like to throw around those 3 words to anyone. I've only told 1 girl that I love her because I truly, at one point in time, use to love her. Sadly she couldn't feel the same, but she said she loved me back. This didn't really help me at all.

Anyone have any ideas on what I should do?

[Lozenger]

Do you mean that you talk to one another on the phone before bed?
If you know it makes her feel like crap coz you don't say "I love you" back to her, then she may have started to have feelings for you hence why she's falling out of love with her current bf.

Also, the fact that you talk about what it would be like if you were in a relationship may lead her to believe that you like her too in that way.

I could be wrong as I don't know how she says it.
Do you talk about being in a relationship in a jokey way. Does she say "I love you" as a way of saying good bye?
Coz a lot of girls (and some guys for that matter) say it as a way to end a conversation or something like it eg loveee, je t'aime, love ya
It really depends on how she says it and this will tell you if she really means it

X

[lastwish]

well..if she's telling you that she wants you to kiss her and be in your arms, AND she loves you then it sounds like she wants to be romantically involved with you. Perhaps the next time you both talk, tell her that you like her as a friend and nothing more. But be tactful about it.

[Thatguy92790]

Thanks to both of you guys for your response. Yes she tells me she loves me before we get off the phone at night. Some of it is small talk when we talk about a relationship. Sometimes I get the idea that she just wants to hook up with me by some of the stuff she says. I mean I wouldn't deny it. I think if a relationship is trying to smark doesn't mean you should return the "I love you" You know what I mean? I know people who have been dating for months and neither of them has told the other "I love you" because they both belive it's something that shoudln't just be thrown out there.

[Lozenger]

Yeah, if you don't feel the same way, I would makesure she knows that and also it may help to stop talking about what it'd be like to be in a relationship together

I can't gurantee that your friendship will remain as strong as it is - after you tell her you don't feel the same way - she may feel hurt and embarrassed and may be slightly off with you - but this should pass, as time has it's way of healing people

[Ur_Imperfection]

Tell her you only love her as a friend. If you continue your out of the norm friendship behavior she's going to think that it is a relationship.