As someone who dated a jerk, who I now refer to as may “learning experience”, I admit to falling under the jerk’s spell.
Here’s how the jerk spell works: you meet the jerk and in some twisted way are seduced by his confidence, charm, and passion. you never see those as the disguises they are: confidence is really arrogance, charm comes from him being a player, and his passion is being the center of his own universe.
The jerk sniffles our insecurities and use them to reel you in with no compliments that eventually turn into criticisms. And if u see a red flag, like the time my “learning experience” told me his definition of a relationship was “light, fun and physical”. you play mind games with yourself. you use your normally rational inner voice to convince yourself that we can tame his or that with the right kind of girlfriend he will lose his jerk armor and transform into the leading man of a typical romantic comedy. Come on ladies ,what are you thinking?
A jerk loves being a jerk. Way more than he loves anyone else. I guess if the always got away with treating people poorly and nobody even set him straight, why would they change? Besides, a jerk seems always have a attractive woman on his arm laughing at his mediocre jokes and ignoring his wandering gaze. How? I think it's because deep down every woman wants a challenge or a little danger. It's not really the jerk we like; it's the thrill of the chase, the rush of adrenaline when the jerk's phone number pops up on our cell (which is usually right after last call).