why aren't girls actively seeking sex

[twisted]

We want it, we just don't show it. I'm sure you are aware that women are easily labeled as sluts. I personally don't give a fukc what I'm labeled as although I used to, but I do prefer keeping my sexual desires and fantasies to myself. Men probably talk about it a lot because if they don't they are labeled as gay.

[GrkScorp]

Women want it, they just don't show it. I'm sure you are aware that women are easily labeled as sluts.

I'm sure you know what a "slut" is.., don't you?

Go ahead.., take a moment.., and think about.., "what is a slut?".., as you think about that.., let's just quickly take a look at a tad bit of history..

Let's go back to ancient Greece.., where having sex with a woman.., meant children.., and where having children.., meant having to raise these children.., there was a general fear of women.., and after childbirth.., a hate for women.., for creating this huge burden.., but it didn't stop there.., oh no..

Marriage was an important institution of the state (the state is used to describe Athens).., but as luck would have it.., many women just didn't find wealthy aristocrats attractive or sexy.., there's nothing sexy about a pale.., flabby.., bald.., old man.., with a philosopher's beard.., but these men had an insecurity..

"Women want to have sex.., and they have this thing called "free choice" as to which men they want to sleep with.., we can't have this.., we must find a way to make sure that they do not go around seeking pleasure from men who could give them pleasure (cough cough.., Olympic athletes.., warriors.., cough cough).., if they are just allowed to freely have sex with whoever they want.., then it's only a matter of time until they leave us"

AND

"Our daughters cannot be going around and having sex with whoever they want! And we cannot constantly be chasing them.., to make sure that they are responsible (remember.., no condoms back in ancient Greece)"

Oh my.., what way can we allow for women to not go around having sex? Aha! Let's socially construct two definitions.., one can be a positive term.., a kind of reward for compliance.., motivating compliance to our goals.., the second can be a negative term.., punishment for defiance..

And so the "virgin/whore" dichotomy started.., where if one was not a virgin.., she was a whore.., and if one was a whore.., she would not get married.., ever.., so daughters and girls did their best to be virgins.., and once married.., the same dichotomy applied.., only now it was the "wife/whore" dichotomy.., where a woman was either a proper "wife".., if the only man she had sex with was her husband.., or else.., if that was not the case.., she was a "whore".. (even if she was no longer with her husband! and even if the reason she was not longer with him is because he dumped her to get an other wife.., or he just died.., if she had sex with anyone else.., she was a whore!)

Do you see how wonderfully this social construction of definitions helps to satisfy the goals of those insecure men?

Have you seen this theme anywhere else in history? Hint? Christianity? "and the Lord wanted only the purest of women to be the mother of his son" (holy sh*t Batman! would you look at the message that's sending! The Lord picked a VIRGIN! not some WHORE!)

Today.., some loser guys still use this theme to cope with the fact that they are either sh*tty boyfriends or husbands.., "I can't believe she left me for that other guy.., what a whore!"

Then we derive at the word "slut".., which is a synonym for the word "whore".., The users of the word "slut" today however.., are actually not men.., interestingly.., the users are other women.., it's a weapon women use against other women.., passing spiteful judgment.., usually to more attractive women.., When these women cannot compete for better males or male attention.., when this is monopolized by attractive women.., then the only weapon these other women have against those women.., is to label them "sluts".., to go back and imply "that woman is cheap.., dirty.., just like a hooker.., no man should want her"..

The implication however.., is not consistent with the etymology of the word.., they may use the word "slut".., but the definition they are implying.., is "hooker".., therefore.., what IS a slut?

We know that it is intended to be a negative term.., and we know that it is in fact distinct from the term "hooker".., so.., looking beyond the socially constructed definition of a "whore".., let's ignore the artificial "virgin/whore" dichotomy.., and think about how the terms "whore" or "slut" can be negative (as they are intended to be)..

A common theme in both terms.., is that they refer to a woman who is sexually active.., the terms aim to label this as a vice.., implying that it is not "right" and "unhealthy" for a woman to be sexually active and have a sexually abundant lifestyle.., let's break up the reasons why this can be bad (negative)..

1. The first.., and most obvious reason.., is the transfer of sexually transmitted diseases.., this is to imply that a woman with a large number of partners.., has taken on more risk.., and is more likely to have some illness that she can transfer onto her next partner.., (but there is already a term for that.., "hooker.., dirty")

2. The second.., is slightly more elusive and subtle.., a woman with an abundant sex life.., may not necessarily be attractive or valuable.., but instead.., it might just be the case that this woman has low standards or no standards in men.., (men however don't care).., but the implication is that men do care.., and that it's not exactly a big deal to be with this woman.., because she will settle for almost any guy.., (but there is already a term for that.., "cheap")

3. The third.., might seem obvious to some.., but to most.., will fly right over their heads.., there is nothing wrong with being sexually active or having an abundant & healthy sex life.., UNLESS.., you have the wrong motives and reasons for having that lifestyle.., a woman who is sexually active for the purpose of attracting a rich man.., has an unhealthy attitude towards sex.., (but there is already a term for that.., "gold-digger.., well-raised").., but what about a woman who feels useless and worthless.., and the only thing that makes her feel useful and valuable is sex? Is there a name for this active validation seeking mode of sex for this woman? What term can we use to describe this unhealthy attitude towards sex?

If the terms "whore" or "slut" are to be given any real basis under which they are to be considered truly negative terms.., then the only definition that remains unaccounted for.., is a woman with the wrong motives for being sexually active.., this woman has an unhealthy attitude towards sex.., which will in turn.., lead her to have sex with the wrong sexual partners.., a wide range of wrong sexual partners.., only to feel better about herself.., she is a sexual validation whore.., "whore" for short.., or "slut"

Do you notice anything? What about women who are sexually active.., or have a sexually abundant lifestyle and healthy sex life.., but don't fit into ANY of the above categories? What do we call these women?

NOTHING! Yes.., that's right.., there's nothing wrong with being sexually active.., having sexual desire.., or having a healthy sexual lifestyle.., There is nothing wrong with a woman being free to do what "she wants" to do.., with the man "she wants" to do it with.., the only people who have a problem with that idea.., are insecure men.., or women of inferior social value and attractiveness who cannot stand a chance against other women in attracting quality guys..

Women are either attacked and made to feel guilty about their sexual desires.., either by insecure men.., or jealous women.., but there is no logical reason behind any kind of double standards with respect to sexual desires of either sex.., a woman who masturbates and thinks about a man while she does it.., is not more deviant than a man who masturbates and thinks about a woman while he does it.., a woman who wants sex.., is no more deviant than a man who wants sex..

This is the childhood trauma that girls have to endure while they're growing up.., to prevent them from running around and having sex.., and coming back home pregnant.., without much consideration on the part of the parents.., to how destructive this is to their attitude towards sex.., and their ability to enjoy sex later on in life.., but try explaining this to every parent with a daughter out there..

At least women have the common sense to eventually come to realize this on their own at one point in their life.., and eventually realize it so completely.., that they can both desire and enjoy sex.., without any inhibition.., just like guys..

Best,

GrkScorp

[tooxshort]

They just haven't met me yet.

I'll read the rest later ...

[DoesntMatter]

Girls actively seeking sex are found in brothels

[Cain]

Girls actively seeking sex are found in brothels

Or anywhere but your room.

[DoesntMatter]

Naw, the room next to me too. Some loner chemical engineer who speaks in the mother tongue on the phone and wakes me up by running the water at 3 in the morning

[Cain]

Naw, the room next to me too. Some loner chemical engineer who speaks in the mother tongue on the phone and wakes me up by running the water at 3 in the morning

Kick his ass.

[Desinate]

Which guys get "laid" in college? Are you ready for the irony?

GUYS WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT SEX

Oh my... So this is why all the girls I go out with, try have sex with me...



Woah, im actually reading what you wrote! Grk!


Edit: Or i'm just going out with sluts

[Mish]

K, as far as I can tell, all guys, whether they are smart, handsome, whatever, are constantly looking for sex. Most men admit this.

Not in my experience. In the beginning maybe. When boys are teenagers and are curious to see what girls are hiding or the ones who have getting laid directly attached to their self esteem (OMG I'm worthless if I'm not getting laid OMG!!!). But then, when boys grow up and have enough of it to last a life time, things change. Sex is no longer a priority.

but girls don't seem to be doing the same. Or else we guys wouldn't be having so much trouble getting laid.

Who said girls aren't doing the same? Have you ever been in the company of a few girls? Have you heard the things they talk about? They are way much more crazier about sex than men.

It sounds like what you need is to be with a girl with a high sex drive. Higher than yours. One who can wear you out. Once you experience getting laid as a chore you'll never look at it this way again.

[Babydoll]

K, as far as I can tell, all guys, whether they are smart, handsome, whatever, are constantly looking for sex. Most men admit this.

but girls don't seem to be doing the same. Or else we guys wouldn't be having so much trouble getting laid.

whats up with that?

Girls can have quite an enjoyable time on their own. The only reason I'd have sex with a man is if I have very very strong feelings for him.. and if I felt it was right.
That doesn't mean that my sex drive isn't very high.. because it is. For girls sex is a physical and mental experience. Most of us can't differentiate between the two; between doing it for sexual pleasure and an emotional bond.
As someone said earlier.. girls do easily get labled as being sluts.. so we only want to have sex with people we trust and who will not think that of us.
Also women aren't as silly as men and don't want to go spreading STIs Before anyone starts having a go.. I'm only joking. Some men AND women are more silly than others.. hence the spreading.

[Babydoll]

It sounds like what you need is to be with a girl with a high sex drive. Higher than yours. One who can wear you out. Once you experience getting laid as a chore you'll never look at it this way again.

Exactly. My boyfriend has actually turned me down twice because he's either too tired.. or doesn't want to do it while he's drunk.. because drunk sex is shit.. in all fairness.

[Henry123]

Not ony that, but many young women are on birth control pills, and they mess up your sex drive. I read a study in which it was estimated that 50% of women taking the pill experience a reduced libido, and these effects can last as long as a year after you go off them.

And as I said before - I thought my sex drive was fine in my 20s, but when I hit my mid 30s?

Oh.

My.

God.

I learned a whole new appreciation for what it must be like for males in their early 20s.

Yep its horrible.

[GrkScorp]

Yep its horrible.

Has to do with the different life stages..

Youth:



Mid-life:



Flirting with the Grim Reaper:

[Off2College]

Grk taught cupid everything he knows

[abetterus]

Like one of you said ...women have more to worry about as far as getting pregnant...but there is the pill and condoms.....that should cover that concern....but we guys think sexually and in the moment...women are more emotional thinkers and need more to be aroused....so normally it takes more time than a "one night stand" Understand, I'm not knocking either for the way men or women think...afterall that's what attracts us..because we are so different.
Now there are those women that are sexually driven and we love'em don't we guys?