What should I do?

[Cinta]

Well first off I just want to let you all know that I'm 16.

I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months now, and during the last few days it hasn't been the same. Two nights ago we had a really long phone conversation about "us".

Before I tell you want we talked about that night, I want to tell you a bit about how we've been since we have been going out. For the first few months everything was great, and we had no real problems. It was when I started school this year that we had our first big argument. (We go to different schools). Well on the last day of the first week of school, he called me that night (as usual) and told me that he still loves but but thinks that we would be better off if we broke up. I started getting upset and crying, so I hung up. Ten minutes later he called back saying he was sorry, that it was all a big mistake and that he wants to stay with me. So I forgave him and we saw eachother the next day. Two days later at school, I found out that he had lied to me. It turns out that on friday (the day he dumped me), he had talked to another girl and had exchanged numbers. I called him soon after I found out and he said he was sorry and that it didn't mean anything. What hurt me the most was finding out that he had been texting her while he had been on the phone with me on friday. That day I decided to stay with him, and I eventually forgave him. I put what he had done to me at the back of my mind so we could move on. He seemed really sincere and apologetic, and still regrets what he did to me.

Nothing else happened until two nights ago.

He said that he thinks he might like another girl (who, mind you, he has NEVER talked to. only seen). He also said that he believes that thisrelationship is too hard, and that he doesn't really know how he feels. He still cares about me, but is really confused about what he should do. He has always brought up that he sometimes thinks about breaking up with me, as it would be easier for both of us.

It feels like I've been hurt and used sometimes in this relationship, but I care about him too much to done anything about it. I can't imagine not being with him. But at the same time, I think I'll only get hurt by him as he doesn't love me as much as I love him.

I would miss his daily phone calls, I would miss the way he was so proud of me, I would miss the way he smiles, and I would miss all those times we had together. I would miss my best friend.

After last night, in which we also talked a bit about "us" (nothing new), he has decided to think about it over and tell me how he feels tomorrow when he comes over to my house. I don't know what I should. Everyone I know tells me that he isn't worth it if he's done all those things to me, but I just can't imagine leaving him.

I'm scared that if we break up I will never find someone like him again - that I will never find someone who loves me for me. I've always wanted that fairytale ending when the two people meet in high school and live happily ever after together. But I've realised that that rarely happened. I just need to know that true love is out there somewhere for me. That someday I will meet someone who loves me and who would never dream of letting me go. I want the other person to fight for the relationship, I'm tired of being the one who has to. But I really love my boyfriend and I think that he could be the one I will love the most if we just give it a try. But is it worth it? - Is he worth it?

Should I stay with him and give it another shot? Or should I let him go?

[CAM]

Move on. You'll meet a lot of other people in life....lots.

[Tedel]

I won't tell you what to do. I'll just give you a couple of tips to help you see this situation clearly:

1. You are not married. You can decide whatever you want or consider best for you.

2. Boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are a learning stage. Through dating you learn what you like and what you don't in a man, and that will help you choose a better husband later.

This doesn't mean you have to date 800 guys in ten years. Do give the best of you in every relationship you are in, but stay with your feet on the ground, else the bruises will hurt much.

Hope this helps.

[scallop]

You are very young. I know this sounds patronising but believe me you have your whole life ahead of you without worrying about someone who clearly doesn't think the same about you as you do about him.

Let him go and move on. There will be someone out there for you without a doubt.

[Mish]

I'm scared that if we break up I will never find someone like him again - that I will never find someone who loves me for me. I've always wanted that fairytale ending when the two people meet in high school and live happily ever after together. But I've realised that that rarely happened. I just need to know that true love is out there somewhere for me. That someday I will meet someone who loves me and who would never dream of letting me go. I want the other person to fight for the relationship, I'm tired of being the one who has to. But I really love my boyfriend and I think that he could be the one I will love the most if we just give it a try. But is it worth it? - Is he worth it? Should I stay with him and give it another shot? Or should I let him go?

I'm scared that if we break up I will never find someone like him again - that I will never find someone who loves me for me.

And there are a lot of people who feel that way. You believe that you're with a perfect partner and you won't be able to find anyone better (it is after all a lot of work). But you will. You are mostly saying this because you are 16 and haven't been out there. Truth is, there are a lot of people who are looking around and the older you get the easier it will become to find them. Most likely the people you find later on in life will be a lot more compatible to you than this person and a lot more understanding of your needs.

I've always wanted that fairytale ending when the two people meet in high school and live happily ever after together.

A lot of us have dreams, but dreams rarely come true. Truth is, the happy ever after is not a happy ever after at all. It's something that requires a lot of work and understnading. This understanding and motivation only comes from experience. There is a reason why most need to kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince. The reason is, you wouldn't be able to appreciate the good things if they were given to you on the silver platter without knowing how hard it is to get them.

But I really love my boyfriend and I think that he could be the one I will love the most if we just give it a try.

It doesn't look like you have a lot of choice in the matter. He's confused. It looks like he needs more life experience in order to know what he wants out of life. That life experience will probably include other girls. All you can really do is accept it and let him be. You will find someone else who is more worthy of you.

[WingsOfDarkness]

Don't want to put it like "You are only 16" because that kind of makes it sound like you are immature or do not know what you feel or need...

But the fact is, you are 16 I remember being that age, and thinking the world hinged on things day to day, that I have learned since, it really doesn't.You will meet so many people in your life.So many people are going to be proud of you, call you daily, have great smiles, and love you for you.I can't even count the number of people I have met since I was your age.

You really deserve someone that loves you, and that has a love for you that doesn't fade and come back day to day.You will meet that person one day.Is it worth it to continue like this?Or learn from it and look for better things in the future?Who knows, just because you are not together now, doesn't mean he won't learn some lessons and want you back It could be a lot worse, he could really hide this stuff.It sounds like he does care about you, but for whatever reason, needs to experience some other things.

I would say, end it for now.But try to stay on good terms.You are 16, you both still have a lot of developing and learning to do as people.I don't mean to sound like you are a kid, but you have so many experiences and life lessons coming at you in the next couple of years...You both deserve to not hurt, not fight, and learn the lessons.You might just wind up together again!Never know!

[Gigabitch]

So, what happened with this, Cinta? IMO, you should start looking around at others too, the way he has been. As far as never finding another guy like him: you should be so lucky. This guy is emotionally irresponsible and doesn't deserve the sweetness you're giving him. Please try to conserve some of that sweetness for a worthy guy. You're wasting it on Prince Not-so-charming.