How do I turn my gf on without removing clothes?

[GrkScorp]

She's a lost 'cause, go find somebody who's willing.

That's one take on it.., and normally i'd agree.., to some degree I do.., that urge is still in the back of my mind.., there's a mini-GrkScorp kicking himself.., screaming.., "dump that b*tch!".., but I digress...,

The reason i'm not all for that.., is because.., you can't break things off.., without knowing that you did your best and you made an honest effort to try first..

Some people are considerate for the needs & wants.., and feelings of other people.., some are not.., the people who are.., allow "respect" for the other person to control.., while the people who don't.., allow "self-interest" for themselves to control..

Example:

- The jerk who only wants sex and could care less for the feelings of the girl he's keeping hooked on the line and who has feelings for him..
- The girl who sits there in a "relationship".., and doesn't have sex or even wants to talk about sex (at age 19)..

Does this mean you should give up on those people? (in the case of the jerk.., yes.., you should actually).., but in the case of this girl.., no.., she's not a lost cause.., she's just someone that requires a bit of work.., if you're willing to put in the work or not.., is a different story..

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

When I have power I go crazy and fcuk everything up which I intended to be good.

Well then.., if you're reckless with power.., and you can't keep it under control.., then we have nothing else to talk about.., I still wish you all the best though.., and good luck with changing your lifestyle to how you want it to be.., what's important is that you're happy with where you want to be..

Best,

GrkScorp

[vashti]

Oh, for cryin out loud, Grk. A girl is allowed to not be ready. She has no obligation to fcuk him. If he wants to get laid so bad, he should find someone who is ready.

[Mr Wigglz]

We just had a huge fight tonight. I went to some of her friends and asked what I can do to reconnect to her. I told them what is happening so they could give me some advice. One of them taken it the wrong way and told my girlfriend (that is what sparked the argument) I'm trying my hardest to make a diffrence but I'm only making it worse. I have now opend my eyes and relised that I need to realy look at myself and change. I asked her if she truly loved me and wanted this to be a long term relationship. And she said yes and started crying. I know what I have with my girlfriend is real. I'm not going to leave her.

[Mr Wigglz]

I'm not after sex... I'm after a realy long term relationship. Sex is a option. Its good to have sex every once and awhile. I don't want to force her into it. I'm human. I'm allowed to make mistakes. Sex isn't everything. I don't think about it all the time. She is the only thing I think about. I just want her to be happy...

[misombra]

your desire to make her happy is turning into actions that are making her miserable.

if you keep pushing her to do things or feel things that she doesn't want to, she's gonna dump you, and she'll be much happier without you.

[Junket]

And she said yes and started crying. I know what I have with my girlfriend is real. I'm not going to leave her.

She cried because she really meant, "No."

[lastwish]

It had been a few months since I had last talked about it. I just wanted to talk about it in a nice convo with no fighting or anything.

When I have power I go crazy and fcuk everything up which I intended to be good. I'm the kinda of guy who sits back and let things go there own way. Atm I'm trying to change myself in a big way. I'm trying to be a man. To applogize about all the bad things I have done and take the punishment. I'm trying to change my lifstyle. But there is one thing I don't want to change and that is my girlfriend... I truly love her. I would do anything for her (yes you can class me as her b!tch but I'm happy with that) we both have been treated like shit all our lives. I want to give her somthing she never had... a friend, a lover, somone to talk to and if she wants to boss me around its fine with me becuse I'm used to it (childhood bullying... I'm the class A underdog of the world) I have told her that I am devoting my life to make her happy. I'm proud that I am thinking of someone eles other then myself. I used to be a selfish uptight basterd. I wouldn't even give 1 lousy doller to someone who needed it. I'm happy that I'm making a change to at least 1 person. And its the person I love

Holyshit. Don't change who you are. I would prefer a guy like you over any guys that will give me excitement or games (cuz thats only necessary for the short term). Just give it a little more patience..she would eventually come around. If she's a virgin, then there is an inner slut that is just waiting for the right time to strike so don't worry too much about the physical aspect for now (assuming that you aren't in a hurry or anything).

[Mr Wigglz]

We sorted things out today. I have told her that we arnt having sex untill she is ready for it. We are taking it slow and easy and it seems it is going fine. And for your information she is after a long term relationship. For the first time in months we where flirting and we enjoyed it. We didn't force each other to do things we didn't want to do. So far so good

[DoesntMatter]

Tell her she's a filthy whore in front of her friends

[Cain]

dude, "once you've touched the button" and your on top of the game, she wont ****en stop wanting it!

mate, just go for it ... dont let her stop you!

it worked fine with me, i was just sliding my hand down there and she put her hand on my wrist and stopped me, i guess it was the same situation as you...

Yeah, cause no means yes, right?

You're going to do that whole "don't let her stop you" thing to the wrong girl and she's going to yell rape. Bet you'll stop when you hear no then, huh?

[Tashi]

gee guys, why is everyone so negative all the time? half the posts here are "you are lost/I feel sorry for you/Just dump her" posts, which doesn't make any sense at all. It seem to be like this in a lot of topics >.>

To tell the truth, I think I understand you more than most people in here. I am in mostly the same position (Both me and my girlfriend was being bullied in school, neither of us have had sex yet, both 18, "sex" is almost taboo...)

Right now I have been with her for 1 and a half year, and we do lots of "sex-oriented" stuff, but never the actual sex. I have tried ONCE where we ALMOST did something, but suddenly i went numb, and she started crying afterwards. I have no idea why, because she wont tell me, and whenever I ask, she gets angry and starts seeming irritated. I have a feeling it is the same thing we are experincing. And vashti said it as well; She ain't ready.

Right now I am teasing her every time I get a chance, and usually, it leads to her wanting something later, but not the actual sex, which is fine. I think that idea was pretty good, as that is what I've been doing up until now. Just make sure she don't think you want more than what you actually want. But if you make HER take the initiative, and only follow along with what she is doing, I don't think anything could go wrong. It may seem hard, but try making it a game. "Who can last the longest?", tease each other by grabbing, kissing, stroking, or whatever turns you on. Trust me, even if you don't know, you will find SOMETHING, sooner or later, when doing this. But remember to think of it as a game. If you think of it as foreplay it will fall apart. hugging her, and making her sit on you lap is one way, for example. This wont mean she instantly gets aroused, but little by little it will. All it requires is patience

But really, if she isn't ready, or seems to hate the topic, stay clear of it. Isn't ready to have sex = not ready to talk about it. Even if you seem very mature, and you are 19 years old, you aren't nessecarily readu to have sex. It's like a roller coaster. Some people have no problems with them the first time, while others are having mild blackouts before the first ride, and afterwards you either feel: 1. happy it is over, and confident you wont ever try it again. 2. Happy it is over, but might try it again next time to see if the result is the same. 3. thrilled and excited, and wanting to try it again as soon as possible. And the funny thing about rollercoasters is, that even if you are 30, you can still be nervous about rollercoasters if you haven't tried any before.

My assumption at least >.<;; I think I would need someone with experince to tell if I am right or wrong ._.