now what!?!?!

[lesa]

If you pick up on it.., it is less likely that you are very perceptive.., and more likely the case that who you were dealing with was simply a poor manipulator..

May we post examples GrkScorp and Cain so that I can see what a good manipulator is? I am just really curious.

I know people can manipulate me, but I don’t see how I could be COMPLETELY CLUELESS on what may be happening. Wouldn't he give up on me?

My example: Let's say he has many women and is even married with children. I have two dates with him. He tells me nothing about the other women. How am I manipulated at this point? Later, he asks me to be his girlfriend and I accept. How can I be manipulated at this point? It's just poor communication because during these times I could have asked him about himself and his expectations of me and vice versa. He can either lie about his expectations (which makes him really more of a liar) then try to keep it up without me ever sensing something is not right or he can end the dates (I had no expectations during the pure dating phase so he could have been a serial killer but it does not matter). He can use manipulations to tell me how silly or weird my expectations are and use some other emotional game but I would definitely be sensing something at that time. It is up to me to continue or not. Some people usually continue until it gets really bad but they sense they are being controlled and manipulated in some way.

[Cain]

Manipulators lie... manipulators do whatever and say whatever they have to in order to make you fall into their trap.

[lesa]

Manipulators lie... manipulators do whatever and say whatever they have to in order to make you fall into their trap.

But I would sense something? How would he respond to the desire that I want in the relationship?

[lesa]

I recall the time this man that liked hanging around stated that he was a veterinarian but after talking to him it was so very obvious that he was not. He had a lot of other issues too. He was a pathological liar. Poor thing...I think he even believed his lies. Even after saying these things, he was more of a liar and very poor at manipulating me at all. I caused him major frustration.

[misombra]

why the hell would you leave things as important as a bike and guitar at somebody's house?

were you trying to move in? a guitar and a bike are special, sacred things that should not be left at your psycho girlfriends house.

why not?

welllllllllllllllllllllllll cuz you'll probly never see them again.

[GrkScorp]

But I would sense something? How would he respond to the desire that I want in the relationship?

Oh..

Who says he doesn't want to be in a relationship too? How easy is it for him (or any guy) to simply pretend to conform to or follow the stereotype that's set out there for all men.., and pretend that he's compromising.., that he didn't want a relationship.., but that he likes you so much.., that he wants to be in a relationship with you too.., that you won him over..

(sound familiar? can you relate this across the two sexes?)

"I don't really like you or feel too comfortable yet Brad.., I think we should wait.., take things slow.., but we should still go back to your place and on the weekend getaway.., and i'm not having sex because that's what I want to do.., it was only because you wanted it so badly and couldn't control yourself.., you were just so dominant and persistent.., and I took a sip of sparkling water.., felt a little tipsy.., it just felt so right.., and it just happened.., it turned me on so much when you were in control.., because I desperately needed a good fcuk.., but I wasn't about to ask for it.., so it was easier to just pretend that you were the one who wanted it.., and that you somehow persuaded me into the whole thing.."

Manipulation doesn't have to involve lying.., just misdirection.., it's not like the guy said "I don't want to be in a relationship.., I like seeing other women.., give me one reason to change my mind and be exclusive with you".., and it's not like the girl said.., "I don't like sex.., I don't really think about sex that much.., I never masturbate.., so give me one good reason to change my mind and have sex".., they just both conveniently left the other to reach a conclusion based on silence & implication.., riding them of any blame.., "hey.., it's not my fault you assumed something to be true when in fact it was not.., that doesn't make me a liar.., it just makes you dumb"

As far as examples of manipulation.., those are sacred.. but if you really want to know.., I'm more than open for a shameless and honest exchange of trade secrets..

Ladies first..

[GrkScorp]

welllllllllllllllllllllllll cuz you'll probly never see them again.

And she can tamper with your breaks and do something cruel like change the tuning!

[misombra]

if you were my ex boyfriend. and i didn't like you anymore. i would DEFINITELY steal your guitar. and your bike.

cause i'm just evil like that.

[GrkScorp]

i would DEFINITELY steal your guitar.

What the heck would you do with a guitar if you couldn't play it?

[lesa]

if you were my ex boyfriend. and i didn't like you anymore. i would DEFINITELY steal your guitar. and your bike.

cause i'm just evil like that.

Well I guess it is safe to assume most of my things are destroyed.

[lesa]

As far as examples of manipulation.., those are sacred.. but if you really want to know.., I'm more than open for a shameless and honest exchange of trade secrets..

Ladies first..

Manipulation is complicated indeed.

I already stated my examples of 'manipulations'. I prefer to call them agreements and expectations.


I already dress up and do those things but really I don't have to do it. And if I don't meet the expectations then we'll simply breakup...as a relationship eventually can only really go two ways: stay or leave.

Now gentlemen

[Cain]

Manipulation is about being able to lie and convince people that your lies are actually true. Someone lying about being a Veterinarian and knowing nothing about animals is a poor excuse of a liar... he isn't even a semi-manipulator.

Here's an example of manipulation, though I don't agree with this: My father, when my parents were divorcing while I was 5, manipulated my mother's friends and the court system. He managed to convince her friends, the police, and the courts that she was suicidal and a danger to me (even though she wasn't.. in fact, I lived with her for the last year of high school and before I joined the military). He also managed to get a divorce and get full custody with her not even having visitation all without her even knowing the divorce proceedings were going on.

[lesa]

Manipulation is about being able to lie and convince people that your lies are actually true. Someone lying about being a Veterinarian and knowing nothing about animals is a poor excuse of a liar... he isn't even a semi-manipulator.

He knew a lot about animals, breeding, and caring for many different types but knew very little about the medical aspects of treating animals. He used the wrong terminology and did not know the correct signs and symptoms for diseases.

Here's an example of manipulation, though I don't agree with this: My father, when my parents were divorcing while I was 5, manipulated my mother's friends and the court system. He managed to convince her friends, the police, and the courts that she was suicidal and a danger to me (even though she wasn't.. in fact, I lived with her for the last year of high school and before I joined the military). He also managed to get a divorce and get full custody with her not even having visitation all without her even knowing the divorce proceedings were going on.

Thanks Cain...I understand it a little more now. This example remains me of a psycho that did manipulation to police and court system as well...but eventually I think if the manipulator continues for a longer time the other people might see it but not always unfortunately. Sorry you had to experience that.

[Mish]

why the hell would you leave things as important as a bike and guitar at somebody's house?

were you trying to move in? a guitar and a bike are special, sacred things that should not be left at your psycho girlfriends house.

why not?

welllllllllllllllllllllllll cuz you'll probly never see them again.

I agree

Especially the guitar. That shit is an object of reverence! It never leaves my grasp until it's home.

[Smith]

zerokool189 it looks like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You have no choice but to use manipulation in order to get your dirt bike and guitar back. Just pretend in front of her that everything in fine and that you have put the whole thing behind you then get your stuff back slowly. When you got your things back then dump her or you may want to take a bra of hers a memorabilia (there’s nothing wrong with doing that). It may take some time but manipulating her is the easiest option.