i have a crush on my neighbor?

[Cain]

Crappy relationships can take years to break apart. Who the hell wants to wait around for that? Until some formal commitment is made, some engagement or child or something, it's fair game. And people do not automatically beat the shit out of others because they lose a b/g-friend to that other. You'll find many more people that don't fight than those that do.

The problem is you all that have this "formal commitment" theory are only defining what YOU consider a formal commitment. What about people that aren't married or engaged that have committed to spending the resit of their lives together? That's the problem. You don't know where those people are in their commitment.

And how do you know his relationship is a crappy one? She doesn't even know him.

[Aegis]

Well if it's a formal commitment, I guess he'll be rejecting her, won't he? Unless perhaps he thinks it might be better for him. No one really knows how best to conduct himself but himself.

I just think it's a waste to not take a chance at an opportunity because the opportunity is currently with someone else in what may or may not be a great or f#@king terrible relationship. You just don't know, so you lie down and die? I think that's a terrible approach to life. How many opportunities would you watch pass by like that?

I don't think anyone should keep pestering someone if they've been told no, but at least ask.

[Cain]

Well if it's a formal commitment, I guess he'll be rejecting her, won't he? Unless perhaps he thinks it might be better for him. No one really knows how best to conduct himself but himself.

I just think it's a waste to not take a chance at an opportunity because the opportunity is currently with someone else in what may or may not be a great or f#@king terrible relationship. You just don't know, so you lie down and die? I think that's a terrible approach to life. How many opportunities would you watch pass by like that?

If there were only 20 people in the world, then sure, that'd be acceptable. But the thing is... there are PLENTY of people in this world that are in fact... single. Why disrespect another person's relationship?

[Aegis]

Because, as far as I know, everyone gets just one shot at life. Make the most of it.

[Tone]

She doesn't even know if he has a girlfriend or not.

Go ask him to unscrew a jar or something and find out if he lives alone or w/ his girlfriend...

[Cain]

Because, as far as I know, everyone gets just one shot at life. Make the most of it.

Well, if you look at it that way... why not rob banks? Why not kill people? I'm not comparing that to interfering in a relationship, but I'm using those as examples of things you probably won't do because you're morally opposed to it. Like you probably won't do those things for moral reasons and you probably think it's wrong for people to do it, I likewise think it's wrong to interfere.

Anyways, regardless, I think that until she finds out whether he has a gf or not, she should go for it. But if he does have a gf, she should back away.

[Aegis]

One step further, I think she should let him know she's interested, and let him figure out what's good for him from there.

[Cain]

One step further, I think she should let him know she's interested, and let him figure out what's good for him from there.

She shouldn't just go right out and say that though. He's her neighbor and if he doesn't feel the same way, things are going to be a little awkward.

EDIT: Honestly, I don't think she should really even try this. He's her neighbor. If they start a relationship and it ends badly, then it will be VERY awkward. How many of your bad relationships do you want to live right next door to?

[Aegis]

While working in the dorm, I had a chance with a girl that I pretty much lived next to...I regret not following up on it...whether it went well or ended badly, it would not have made much difference today, other than be an avenue I explored rather than passed by.

[Cain]

While working in the dorm, I had a chance with a girl that I pretty much lived next to...I regret not following up on it...whether it went well or ended badly, it wouldn't have made much difference today.

That's a dorm that you knew you'd be out of within a year. This is either a house or apartment that she might be living in for years and years. There's a difference.

[Aegis]

Ultimately, the mistakes I made while I was younger seem kind of meaningless, other than amusing anecdotes...I still wish I would have followed up on some of the missed opportunities. It's how you wanna do things; one way stands to enrich your life, the other won't. At worst, neither do; at best, one might lead to some good memories.

We're just arguing in circles at this point I think. I'll agree to disagree.

It's like vashti telling me this waitress I'm lusting after isn't a damned idol on a pedestal, rather, just a girl. She knows it, but I have a hard time realizing it's less important than it is.

[Cain]

Ultimately, the mistakes I made while I was younger seem kind of meaningless, other than amusing anecdotes...I still wish I would have followed up on some of the missed opportunities. It's how you wanna do things; one way stands to enrich your life, the other won't. At worst, neither do; at best, one might lead to some good memories.

We're just arguing in circles at this point I think. I'll agree to disagree.

You must never have had a psycho ex-girlfriend. Trust me, if you had, the last thing you want is the bitch living next door to you.

[Aegis]

Okay, I know I effectively said I was done, but this I can't resist.

psycho ex-girlfriends are irrelevant to this girl telling her neighbor that she's interested.

[Cain]

Okay, I know I effectively said I was done, but this I can't resist.

psycho ex-girlfriends are irrelevant to this girl telling her neighbor that she's interested.

You aren't understanding my point. I view dating your neighbor just like I view dating someone that you work with. If it doesn't work out, you still have to see that person. If they end up in a relationship and it ends badly... and he's a total asshole... the last thing she'll want is to be living next to him... but she may own the house or be locked in a lease.

That's it.

[Aegis]

Yeah, yeah, I did that. Dunno how bad it is for others, but I got past it.