What should I do now with my b/f?

[younglady50]

My b/f apologized for his behavior in reference to his infantile behavior when I returned from daughter's wedding about speaking to my ex husband during my daughter's wedding out of state. This was a previous thread that I posted. He said he always trusted me and has faith in me. It is just that my ex-husband always makes sure he is involved in our lives one way or another. My ex still believes that I am his wife, etc. I have been apart from my ex for 15 years and he thinks he can just say something cute and I will fall for it. He will use the kids as pawns to get to me. But, once again, I know his MO so I don't fall for it. My b/f just can't let it go and he is still obsessed with my ex.
I told my b/f that this is just the beginning, my kids will be having babies, etc. and the ex will still be in the picture. If my b/f has felt this much hatred for my ex for the last 13 years, I doubt he will feel any better if he goes for counseling. And, I don't want to have to go through this crazy behavior every time an event comes up. And, waste another day or month or even years to pass as I get older and he gets older.
With this information at hand, should I stay with my b/f knowing he will feel this way no matter what and deal with it? Or just break it off completely? Is this normal behavior in relationships? I don't know I have never had an normal relationship. From my ex to my b/f, I just don't know.

[Cain]

Ultimately, the decision of whether to keep him or not is yours. If your ex-husband hasn't tried to stop getting with you after all these years, I doubt he'll stop now. And have you tried telling your ex-husbands wife what he's doing? Maybe she can keep him in line unless he wants to lose her.

[shh!]

You aren't children anymore, and his behavior is childish. Should you keep him? I don't know... it depends on how tolerant you are of childish behavior. If he is worried about your ex husband after all these years, he definitely needs some counseling - you are right about the grandkid situation. He needs to get a hold of himself before they come around. You wouldn't want him "poisoning the well", so to speak.

And no, I don't consider this normal. Personally, I am wondering why the two of you aren't laughing about your ex husband's attempts. I can't imagine being so enmeshed with an ex after all these years. You all should have achieved emotional detachment by now.

[Mish]

I told my b/f that this is just the beginning, my kids will be having babies, etc. and the ex will still be in the picture. If my b/f has felt this much hatred for my ex for the last 13 years, I doubt he will feel any better if he goes for counseling. And, I don't want to have to go through this crazy behavior every time an event comes up. And, waste another day or month or even years to pass as I get older and he gets older.
With this information at hand, should I stay with my b/f knowing he will feel this way no matter what and deal with it? Or just break it off completely? Is this normal behavior in relationships? I don't know I have never had an normal relationship. From my ex to my b/f, I just don't know.

It's not a normal behaviour, he's behaviing in an unjustifiably silly manner. But counselling can work if both of you really want to work through this.

What you will need to do is recongnize if you are contributing to this behaviour by not pursuing the before mentioned emotional detachment. Your ex is your ex, he may be in the picture for your children, but should not play a significant role in your life anymore.

You also have to remember that you are who you attract. If you yourself never had a normal relationship like you said above, maybe there is something that you do that makes you not normal as well? I would look into it.