What in the world is "Just Friends"?

[andrey]

Ladies,
I need a very honest answer from you.
When you tell a guy that you want to be just friends, do you actually mean it? Also how possible is a true friends relationship between a guy and a girl without anything happening?

Recently I've met a girl from work. She is absolutely beautiful and absolutely everything that I want. After sending me all the signals that she wants to be with me, I took the step and was thrown back with a "I'm just looking for a friend".

I got every signal, she said I was sweet, great looking and amazing. Also, she calls me, emails me and even comes by my office at work.

Im very confused, I tried talking to her about it but she told me that she is not ready for a relationship and only looks at me as a friend.

Could someone help? Because I dont believe her even for a second!

[Cain]

Ladies,
I need a very honest answer from you.
When you tell a guy that you want to be just friends, do you actually mean it? Also how possible is a true friends relationship between a guy and a girl without anything happening?

Recently I've met a girl from work. She is absolutely beautiful and absolutely everything that I want. After sending me all the signals that she wants to be with me, I took the step and was thrown back with a "I'm just looking for a friend".

I got every signal, she said I was sweet, great looking and amazing. Also, she calls me, emails me and even comes by my office at work.

Im very confused, I tried talking to her about it but she told me that she is not ready for a relationship and only looks at me as a friend.

Could someone help? Because I dont believe her even for a second!

It means what it sounds like... she just wants to be your friend.

Why do some guys think women speak in code or something?

[clearskies]

When i say that myself, I'd mean that i am not interested and I want a break but the other person doesnt want leave me alone.
It doesnt mean it is applicable in all cases, she might need time to know you better.
Also, ladies who were badly hurt in previous realtionships will say these words to avoid being involved.

[clearskies]

Women might speak in codes when they dont want to hurt the other party's feelings OR when they are try to suggest something and want to test the intelligence of such partner. Only inexperienced youngsters think life is plain and words carry no more than their meaning..so dont believe them.

[Aegis]

All these signals...is it possible you're interpreting them as more than they are?

[andrey]

Im not misinterpeting anything.

I've been with so many girls that I have lost count. Never had a just friends issue though....

It could be that she has been screwed over her last relationship, how do I prove to her that Im THE GUY?

[Cain]

Women might speak in codes when they dont want to hurt the other party's feelings OR when they are try to suggest something and want to test the intelligence of such partner. Only inexperienced youngsters think life is plain and words carry no more than their meaning..so dont believe them.

So, a woman will say "I just want to be friends" so that she can weed out the idiots? The only people she's going to be weeding out are the people that know she's not the only woman in the world and not worth the games.

[Aegis]

...been with so many girls that I have lost count...how do I prove to her that Im THE GUY?

lol, slow down tiger...are you sure those two statements don't disagree a bit with each other?

Anyway, it's nitpicking. I think "just wanna be friends" is kinda universal for 'not interested' Though, clearskies has alluded to that being perhaps a temporary thing. Maybe she needs more time to know you.

[headCrab]

Don't push her, just take things as they come naturally and see where it goes... hard to advise on this one without lot's of background information.

Good luck!

[Cain]

Im not misinterpeting anything.

I've been with so many girls that I have lost count. Never had a just friends issue though....

It could be that she has been screwed over her last relationship, how do I prove to her that Im THE GUY?

Are you going to attempt to try and convince her that she has feelings for you? I'm sorry, but I've found that if a woman has feelings or some kind of attraction towards you, she'd tell you. I think it's a little odd to go on some conversion journey.

Also, be sure not to tell her that you've been with so many women that you've lost count. I don't see how that could help you at all.

[andrey]

Cain,
Im not going to convince her that she has feelings for me. You normally dont have feelings for someone who you met not too long ago and obviously I wouldnt tell her about all the women I've been with. This is much different though.

Do you think there is a chance that she will start to like me in that way after she gets to know me more or there is a cut off where "If she doesnt like you LIKE THAT at first, she will never like you"

[Cain]

Cain,
Im not going to convince her that she has feelings for me. You normally dont have feelings for someone who you met not too long ago and obviously I wouldnt tell her about all the women I've been with. This is much different though.

Do you think there is a chance that she will start to like me in that way after she gets to know me more or there is a cut off where "If she doesnt like you LIKE THAT at first, she will never like you"

From what I gather, it's not that she doesn't or won't like you... it's that she doesn't want a relationship right now. Maybe she will want one later on, but she obviously isn't ready for one right now. Don't push it and try to make her change her mind because you might alienate her.

[clearskies]

What is meant here is that, you cant push someone to love you ... you can accompany her but this doesnt imply she will have growing feelings to you as time goes by.. For example, you like the lookings of someone and when you get closer to this person, you might feel it is better to run a mile away from him/her. Emotions change but at the same time, you cant make someone like you.

[Tone]

F*** friend.

[starbuck]

"Just friends" is a polite way of saying that she doesn't want a relationship with you. If the both of you have to work together, she's probably being extra polite because you and she are coworkers.