Some answers, some new questions . . .

[jslaughter]

So Drew and I had spoken on Wednesday we tentatively made a date for this weekend - I told him to pick a day and let me know. (Expecting him to call back, like later that night or MAYBE the next day.) He didn't call and my weekend booked up quickly so I decided he was SOL. I also decided that I need a relationship to be a little more of an equal balance not so much me giving and him taking. I don't mind be on the ledge - I want him there with me. So I am kind of washing my hands of this situation. I'm not calling anymore and I suspect that will end it.

Andy never called back and I was completely bummed. (HE didn't even respond to my plea for home repair advice.) Then Saturday night at Church - he stopped me and asked me when I wanted to go to Lowe's! I blushed and told him not only had I already gone, I had already re-painted the bathroom! He asked to see the paint chips later. We kind of stood there looking at each other for a minute and then I blurted out - what about dinner tonight? He said that he'd have to wait and see what happened after service. Long story short . . .we did go to dinner, but with the rest of the band AND with my friend Amy. Amy and I rode to the restaurant together and Andy rode with some people from the band - - but he sat next to me and we talked a little bit. Then after dinner Amy took me back to my car and Andy happened to have not left yet so he pulled around and we ended up talking for about an hour. There was a few times it seemed like he was trying to ask me out and I was trying to figure out how to help, but found myself coming up short. The evening ended pleasantly with him telling me he'd see me in the morning. Things in the morning were a bit chaotic and his mother was there. I'm under the impression that he wsan't expecting her to be there. However I met her and she was very very nice. Though I was disappointed when they left and no word on when we would see each other again. (I am going to his concert this evening though.)

However that evening the waters for me got murkier. . . I have been friends with Paul for almost 4 years and during that time I had met his brother Peter a dozen times. Paul is a few years older than me but one of my best friends - Peter is a few years older than Paul but has always seemed less focused about things that Paul and always seems in and out of tragic relationships. (He's a psycho magnet.) Paul and my friend Amy were kind of interested in each other so I agreed to go out with them on the fourth - we were having dinner at Peter & Paul's house and then heading out to the beach for fireworks. My attitude was totally laid back as I knew both of the men present and knew Paul was interested in Amy and knew that Peter would be "on the prowl." There ended up being an "extra" girl which annoyed me on Amy's behalf but again I wasn't expecting anything so . . .

During the course of the evening I treated Peter the way I treat Paul - in my eyes I was playing the part of the kid sister. There was teasing and general harrassment. The five of us watched fireworks, went to a few bars, and then ended up on the beach. We walked a ways and then walked back where we started where we kind of coupled off - Amy and Paul ended up standing at the water, Peter and I were sitting on the lounge chairs in front of a hotel, and the "extra" chick sat in the sand staring at the moon. I was shocked at how attentive Peter was - he asked questions and actually listened to the answers and at no point did he give the impression that he was waiting for someone better to come along which frankly is what I expected.

So we ended up in an ice fight at some bar - - after a while it just seemed like we were going for any excuse to touch each other. At the last bar they were playing rap and he and I started dancing, and then kissing. It came out of nowhere but we ended up kissing for a long time and at the end of the evening there was awkwardness as we said good bye and we ended up making out like high schoolers in my car in front of his Mom's house. As we parted ways he asked if he could do anything for me and I asked him to pencil me in the next time he's in town. (He lives three hours from here.)

When I talked to Paul the next day I said I feel like I should've be apologizing. He said that Peter normally has a thing for psycho chicks so as far as he was concerned this could be a good thing. (He also said if Peter hurt me - he'd have to kill him!)

So it was a good weekend and I have managed to maintain my usual state of confusion.

[Bonovox40]

Sounds like an awful lot of twist and led-into turns that took place. Were you happy with the guy you made out with because you do like him, or was it kinda a "I'd like to have some affection/attention and he's cool for right now to get me by." sorta deal? Does that change anything about Andy? I thought you were really jonesin for him and then you went after Peter just like *click* that. I'm glad you had fun and everything, i'm just not sure what you really are hoping for. Do you really want a relationship with Andy, or would you be more happy finding guys like Peter to get some physical action from and knowing that there isn't a relationship waiting to happen?

This isn't a rant or anything, I didn't think you did anything wrong because you can do whatever you want, you're not in a commited relationship. I'm honestly just curious how you perceive this situation and what you'd like to have.

[squirrley]

Holy smokes girlfriend-the drama this weekend! Wahoo-I must say I couldnt wait to get to the end of this one to see what happened...Im pleasantly suprised myself-girl some smooch time in! WAHOO Jules!!!

So hes only three hours away uh? Thats nothing. Peter sounds like a nice guy Jules and you guys hit it off really well~ok the situation with Drew-youre right let it go-the situations with Andy-well hes pretty darn shy and doesnt seem aggressive in any manner-geez I think its been a few weeks with getting to know him and making things more comfortable and maybe in time he'll come out of his shell. But youre not committed to anyone and youre having fun-Id almost keep that door open with Peter for sure!!!

Happy Fourth to Jules who saw some fireworks in her world!!!

[jslaughter]

What I find interesting about this whole situation is that I still remember the first time I saw Peter (December 24, 2000) and I was like "Wow that guy is really handsome!" However, he was my friend's brother and for me that was a strike 1. (I just didn't want to put Paul in that situation.) I also found out he lived out of town which was kind of a strike 2 for me.

In the years that have followed Paul has often talked to me about Peter as Peter jumps into relationships - each time heart open, hopeful that this time he had found the right person, and each time he had ended up hopes dashed. Paul is always shocked and horrified as to how his brother can chose women so poorly!

Maybe it was the fireworks, the beautiful moon rising, perhaps it was finding out we had more in common than we expected. Maybe it was just that suddenly we saw each other in a different light - I'm not sure.

However, we parted ways and he said he would pencil me in for his next visit. He did not ask for my phone number but needless to say he knows where to get it. Peter and Paul had dinner last night with their mother, so I am sure that if Peter had any doubts about my character Paul let him know what kind of girl I was.

I spent the better part of yesterday in a bit of confusion. I do like Andy, but the reality is that we haven't really had a date yet. He hasn't proven to be great at this whole getting back in touch with me, and while he gives me signals that he could be interested, but we aren't going anywhere in a hurry. In all honesty I cannot say that I would normally start anything with someone by making out in a bar - honestly many date end with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, so that was out of character for me. However, Peter lives in Panama City and I know that he goes out alot so I'm not sure what to think of that whole situation either. I don't even think I know enough about them that I would be able to chose between the two if I had to today!

I'm just trying to feel things out and not rush into anything, (Although making out does feel a bit like rushing for me!) and see what happens next.

[Bonovox40]

Maybe you should just hit up Andy for a date and see what happens. If he isn't out of his shell by then, (with relief of knowing how you think of him as datable) then I don't know what will get him out! (although the way he sounds, he might be nervous on the date anyway.) I'd recommend something outgoing to do. Not a "sit at a movie" type date. Something fun you can both do that will loosen him up. He might be a great guy. Shy, but great. Or he could be a shy uncaring jerk. Guess it's up to you to decide if you want to find out.

Don't feel bad about the "out of character" thing. If it wasn't so far fetched, and you didn't feel that way, you wouldn't have done it. So it really is within your character to do. Just because the situation that presented itself was in a bar, doesn't mean your a bar skank! :-P

[jslaughter]

Don't feel bad about the "out of character" thing. If it wasn't so far fetched, and you didn't feel that way, you wouldn't have done it. So it really is within your character to do. Just because the situation that presented itself was in a bar, doesn't mean your a bar skank! :-P

Thanks, I needed that!!!!

I also think you offered good advice about Andy - I would like to find out if there's anything there. And I will see Andy tonight when his band plays.

I'll keep you posted - you do the same.

Jules