confused about bf of 6 yrs.

[shh!]

Oh man, I feel really bad for her BF. For all we know he really does want to just get things more settled or maybe even is planning a proposal now.

You know, even HE may believe this, but considering her age and his lack of productivity, I'd say she's wasted enough time. If she keeps on hanging around, she will find herself very possibly married, but supporting this guy in 5 years, and perhaps unable to afford having babies.

Hang tough, anodyne! You are doing the right thing (unless you WANT to support him forever).

[Only-virgins]

I'd say she's wasted enough time.

You women and your "wasting time". I will never understand this. It still makes me sad that it all sounds so much like a business arrangement.

[IndiReloaded]

Not enough info to decide if you are really wasting your time Anodyne.

Interesting name, btw--your profession or wishful thinking for this forum?

I'm confused about a couple of things, you are from Tokyo but are there trying to make $$$? Tokyo is VERY expensive.

His not having a productive job is a concern. As for the rest, have you explicitly told him you are concerned where the relationship is going (or not)? I was with my husband for 5 years before we got married, in our late 20s (we were finishing school), so its not the time so much as the circumstances & general 'feel' as to the future of your relationship that you should consider.

[vashti]

You women and your "wasting time". I will never understand this. It still makes me sad that it all sounds so much like a business arrangement.

She's 29. Age eventually becomes a factor if a woman plans to have a family. You should know this.

[Only-virgins]

She's 29. Age eventually becomes a factor if a woman plans to have a family. You should know this.

Not even death itself can put a time constraint on me. Women should just learn how to live and go with the flow.

[vashti]

It's true enough that men don't have to worry about the biological clocks. This doesn't mean women don't have to, though...

[Only-virgins]

It's true enough that men don't have to worry about the biological clocks. This doesn't mean women don't have to, though...

This only ends up putting a time constraint on men though. Honestly, if all women are so bent on trying to find somebody earlier and get married in their twenties for sure what are my chances of find a great looking woman who wants to have fun, isn't taking care of kids, and isn't some divorced walking bag of disturbed emotions at my age of 25...better yet...when I am 27...and than 29..?...those are just around the corner. It might bug me, of course if I actually cared enough...but the thing is that it really forces people to make drastic decisions quickly and early...to early sometimes.

I really hope that this girl on this thread after she leaves this boyfriend doesn't end up being stuck with some abusive guy or worse...alone...cause I know how some women hate that.

[starbuck]

This only ends up putting a time constraint on men though. Honestly, if all women are so bent on trying to find somebody earlier and get married in their twenties for sure what are my chances of find a great looking woman who wants to have fun, isn't taking care of kids, and isn't some divorced walking bag of disturbed emotions at my age of 25...better yet...when I am 27...and than 29..?...those are just around the corner. It might bug me, of course if I actually cared enough...but the thing is that it really forces people to make drastic decisions quickly and early...to early sometimes.

I really hope that this girl on this thread after she leaves this boyfriend doesn't end up being stuck with some abusive guy or worse...alone...cause I know how some women hate that.

Not all women are looking to get married in their twenties. In the U.S., more and more are waiting until their thirties so they can focus on their careers. This is a statistical trend from what I've read.

The bottom line is that the OP's boyfriend wasn't meeting HER needs. They weren't even living together, and she was unhappy and fed up. She had given this guy more time than alot of women would. His time was up, and after six years he had plenty of it.

[vashti]

This only ends up putting a time constraint on men though. Honestly, if all women are so bent on trying to find somebody earlier and get married in their twenties for sure what are my chances of find a great looking woman who wants to have fun, isn't taking care of kids, and isn't some divorced walking bag of disturbed emotions at my age of 25...better yet...when I am 27...and than 29..?....

I don't think everyone is looking to get married in their 20s, but certainly if they are approaching their 30s and assuming they WANT a family, they are less likely to hang around wasting their time. It's a simple biological reality we are dealing with. Sorry that bugs you, but I'm sure you'll find someone.

[Cain]

Everybody wants different things, OV. I'm sure you'll find plenty of women in their late 20s and early 30s that just want to have fun, but some women want families and they don't want to wait until they are in their 30s to do it... my gf being one of them. And I'm fine with that. I don't want to be in my 30s when I start either. Everyone has their own preferences.

[anodyne]

Not enough info to decide if you are really wasting your time Anodyne.

Interesting name, btw--your profession or wishful thinking for this forum?

I'm confused about a couple of things, you are from Tokyo but are there trying to make $$$? Tokyo is VERY expensive.

His not having a productive job is a concern. As for the rest, have you explicitly told him you are concerned where the relationship is going (or not)? I was with my husband for 5 years before we got married, in our late 20s (we were finishing school), so its not the time so much as the circumstances & general 'feel' as to the future of your relationship that you should consider.

as for my name: well yeah wishful thinking and maybe i could be 'that' someone in need.

tokyo can be expensive. but its a lot like NY. if you earn a living here then its all relative.

[anodyne]

This only ends up putting a time constraint on men though. Honestly, if all women are so bent on trying to find somebody earlier and get married in their twenties for sure what are my chances of find a great looking woman who wants to have fun, isn't taking care of kids, and isn't some divorced walking bag of disturbed emotions at my age of 25...better yet...when I am 27...and than 29..?...those are just around the corner. It might bug me, of course if I actually cared enough...but the thing is that it really forces people to make drastic decisions quickly and early...to early sometimes.

I really hope that this girl on this thread after she leaves this boyfriend doesn't end up being stuck with some abusive guy or worse...alone...cause I know how some women hate that.

I never intended to force my bf into anything, its just that weve been together 6 years, where else should it go?