Help Big Time!!!!

[lip3]

I am engaged and in love with this man, and he loves me. The thing is, he used to model, and when we were skyping long-distance he used to tease me that these model girls he knew were hitting on him. Later, I told him how it made me feel hurt and that it made me feel as if he was trying to say I wasnt good enough. He apologized and explained he was only trying to make things interesting and he knows I am beautiful and thought by saying those things it would make me want him more and not lose interest.

I decided when we were reunited to lose 12 pounds, and go from 5'7 and 3/4 at 135 lbs to 112 lbs to show him I could be just as "model" like.

He said he liked my sexy new shape but that my face looked guant and that he doesn't care about my weight or height and that I was always hot and beautiful to him.

He says he regrets ever teasing me, and now gets angry at me for being concerned about the foods I eat and trying to lose weight ( I am not apprx 125 lbs). He says he didnt want a girl who obssesed about food and weight and wants me to be myself. He also says guys like a bit of meat, and he liked that I was curvy and confident and beautiful and intelligent - a whole package.

The thing is I know for a fact he used to date some model girls and they are all skinny not curvey or healthy thin whatsoever, so why would he be dating me know? Is it because he has "settled" for plain jane with personality, or plain jane who won't give him grief or compete with him for attention? He claims that he doesnt want that type of girl he used to date, but why would he date them in the first place? I wouldn't do that. It doesn't seem logical to me. How can he find me attractive when he never dated a girl like me before? And why wouldnt he want me to get skinny like those girls so I can look like the "ideal"??? And logically if he likes a bit of meat or curve to a girl than why did he date stick-thin girls????

I am so frustrated and confused and it has gotten to the point where I cry at night when he is asleep and I get mad at him for making comments to people like: "I used to do the model parties but I realized they weren't anything special". It feels like a slap in the face to me by saying that I am not tall or thin enough or good enough to model.

I need to know what he meand by all this. Help.

[lip3]

ALso one other question: So many guys claim they like girls with curves and a little bit of "meat". But why then are all the movies, commercials, magazines catered to them with stick-thin girls with big boobs (mostly fake)?????? It sounds like BS to me

[Cain]

Just because he dated skinny women in the past doesn't mean that you aren't his type. People date many different kinds of women to see what type they are attracted to most. He obviously accepts you for you and is attracted to you. Why are you being so hard on yourself?

My gf is 5'6"... 140lbs... and I love it. I like thicker girls... girls that are at a healthy weight but aren't big. I find my gf to be a very beautiful woman, regardless of whether anyone else does or not. He most likely feels the same way about you.

Do NOT go down to 112 lbs. That is way to skinny for someone that is almost 5'8".

You're having a hard time fitting into his model world and it's going to ruin the relationship. You need to see a therapist if this continues.

[Cain]

ALso one other question: So many guys claim they like girls with curves and a little bit of "meat". But why then are all the movies, commercials, magazines catered to them with stick-thin girls with big boobs (mostly fake)?????? It sounds like BS to me

So what?

It's just an advertising ploy.

If I see a girl's ribs, I'm not attracted to her.

I want a girl that isn't always watching what she eats. My girl likes to look at the calories and fat content of foods, but we'll go out to eat and she'll be fine with getting something. I, like your bf, don't want a girl that is constantly watching what she eats so dramatically.

[starbuck]

Your bf probably wants a girl with more depth and personality.

And it's not just that guys say they like a "thicker" body type. There are actually studies out there that prove it. Don't get sucked in by all the media bullshit and stop comparing yourself. Models are just regular people whose faces look more symmetrical and have skinnier bodies. Don't put them up on such a pedestal.

[Lipp]

So many are striving to look "perfect" that they look like clones.

In my book Sexy =/= Beautiful.

[miSSleepy]

lip, you're essentially complaining that you're bf isn't the shallow as you assumed he was.

You're creating the problem here. He's with YOU. You are therefore the type he is interested in right now. So he dated skinny girls in the past, so what? Early dating is about experimenting, and obviously he's results are: I don't like stick-figures.

If you keep trying to lose weight and insisting that he must like skinny girls because he dated them, you'll push him away with your insecurities.

Forget what's on TV, that shouldn't be influencing your relationship. He likes you the way you are, so quit stressing and start eating normally again.

[Gribble]

What does he mean by all that? He thought he liked slim, tall women. And then you came along, blew his mind, and now he realizes you are exactly what he wants. But then you went all neurotic and you're turning into the kind of woman he's sick of.

Get ahold of yourself before you screw up a good thing.

[sine24]

you seem to be thinking way too much into this. if your boyfriend really goes for "stick-thin models" he wouldnt be with you right now. maybe you should cut him some slack and just be happy with him. you're not a model. he doesn't want to be with a model. by losing weight, i reckon you're just being a hypocrite and giving in to all those movies, commercials and magazines. you're being way too superficial and your relationship should not be based on looks. your post seems to talk a lot about logic. relationships arent always about logic sweetie. just be happy with him.

[starbuck]

He initially he said he was teasing you about his dating models in order to make himself seem more attractive to you. A little childish of him, yes, but if he knew it was going to unleash these insecurities in you, he probably wouldn't have said it. I seriously doubt he meant to influence your eating habits.

Your boyfriend sounds like he loves you for you. If you don't deal with these insecurities now, you could end up driving him away as other posters said, or worse, seriously endangering your health with an eating disorder.

You need to learn how to love yourself now or else face being obsessed with your looks for a very long time.