Should I keep apologizing or let it go?

[striker08]

About a month ago I did something to make a friend that I liked really mad. She said everything about our situation was too much and she felt I had manipulated her.

She went on vacation for 3 weeks and I did not contact her during this time. I did send a letter of apology to her via snail mail and I have sent her some short emails asking her how her trip was and how I was apologetic. I also sent her a small bouquet of flowers to her job along with the note.

I have not heard anything from her at all, no response nothing. I was wondering if the friendship is gone or if shes still mad at me or does she want her space and if I should stop contacting her or keep trying, I am moving back to Europe at the end of the month.

[Cain]

What did you do?

[Citycat]

It sounds like she's still mad. So, what did you do?

[Brose]

Yeah she seems pretty pissed. Maybe you should try something new???

--------vvvvvvvvvv----------

[shh!]

I don't know what you did (I am curious, though), but in general, unless you killed someone, I think you should apologize sincerely in person and take full responsibility for what you did, and the other person is obligated (IMO) to accept a heartfelt apology. This does not mean they have to resume the same sort of relationship you had prior to your transgression, but they should be gracious and accept the apology IF IT IS SINCERE.

Maybe she doubts your sincerity.

[Gigabitch]

You can apologize all day, but if she's not trying to hear it, it will fall on deaf ears, you know? I would have to know what you did to gauge whether or not she's being mean about it, but from here it looks like you're throwing your efforts into a black hole.

[striker08]

You can apologize all day, but if she's not trying to hear it, it will fall on deaf ears, you know? I would have to know what you did to gauge whether or not she's being mean about it, but from here it looks like you're throwing your efforts into a black hole.

She felt that things I presented her with were too much, basically I come from a somewhat well to do family, so there is somewhat pressure there and she felt it. The other thing was I said somethings to protect my children that she wanted no part of so to speak. The last thing I got from her was, no one associated with me was to call or email her and if I ever responded to her to respond to her personal email account.

I am leaving in about 2 weeks to move back overseas and I just want her to know I am sorry and apologetic and I hate leaving things the way they are.

[Cain]

Yeah, that doesn't tell us anything.

In order for us to gauge whether it's even worth it to continue apologizing, you need to tell us EXACTLY what it was.

[striker08]

She felt that things I presented her with were too much, basically I come from a somewhat well to do family, so there is somewhat pressure there and she felt it. The other thing was I said somethings to protect my children that she wanted no part of so to speak. The last thing I got from her was, no one associated with me was to call or email her and if I ever responded to her to respond to her personal email account.

I am leaving in about 2 weeks to move back overseas and I just want her to know I am sorry and apologetic and I hate leaving things the way they are.

Ok well, I was deployed at the time and I have full custody of my children. I had some relatives who wanted to take temporary custody of my kids while I was gone and who were suing to become their trustee. Well to avert a crisis, until I got back, I told everyone that my friend was their trustee, because I did not want to lose my kids, being a single parent. My friend found out I had said this and this is when we had our argument, despite my pleading with her about how my children only have me, she said she felt manipulated. I was in a war zone at the time and was just worried to death about my kids and I thought putting them first was the thing to do, but my friend did not see it that way and I doubt she still does.

Thats about it really, I can see why she felt hurt, but on the other hand I felt I had to do all I could to protect my kids being that I wasnt here at the time. I think she felt she wasnt good enough because she was always glad I complimented her and her work abilities and just her in general, plus she said she hoped she was enough for someone like me and my family.

I always told her that she was a beautiful woman who could have any guy and she is really beautiful and she even said shes more than a pretty face, once someone gets to know her.

But I know I have probably lost all chances with her, I just do not want to move back overseas and leave things the way they are.

[IndiReloaded]

Ok well, I was deployed at the time and I have full custody of my children. I had some relatives who wanted to take temporary custody of my kids while I was gone and who were suing to become their trustee. Well to avert a crisis, until I got back, I told everyone that my friend was their trustee, because I did not want to lose my kids, being a single parent.

If you did this without consulting her, yes, I'd say she has HUGE reason to be upset. Can you imagine both her & your children's confusion if something had actually happened to you?

My friends ask my permission for a passport recommendation. And they don't really *need* to for such a trival thing given how long we've been friends. I can't begin to imagine how I would feel if a friend did what you did to me w/out discussing w/me first.

Talk much, Striker? Yes, you owe her an apology but don't do it simply in the hopes of getting back together. Do it b/c its the decent thing to do in your situation.

[striker08]

If you did this without consulting her, yes, I'd say she has HUGE reason to be upset. Can you imagine both her & your children's confusion if something had actually happened to you?

My friends ask my permission for a passport recommendation. And they don't really *need* to for such a trival thing given how long we've been friends. I can't begin to imagine how I would feel if a friend did what you did to me w/out discussing w/me first.

Talk much, Striker? Yes, you owe her an apology but don't do it simply in the hopes of getting back together. Do it b/c its the decent thing to do in your situation.

I apologized to her by sending her a letter of apology. However the plot thickens because now I am finding out many things shes told me throughout our friendship were lies. While I am not upset about being lied to, it does make me feel somewhat better since I have been on the guilt trip of wronging her the past few weeks. I am moving back overseas in a few days and I am thinking should I try one last attempt to put things right or just leave things the way they are?

[anachronistic]

one try wouldn't hurt.

[Cain]

one try wouldn't hurt.

One try... sure... but it sounds like he's tried over and over and over and over and over...

[anachronistic]

let him beat the dead horse until he sees how stupid it is.

[striker08]

Hey I know how stupid it is, I just thought she would let bygones be bygones by now, but I think I will just head overseas and forget about it, I just do not like leaving things the way they are, but nothing I can do to change it.