Alright well, this is going to be long, so bear with me please because I need desperate help.
I was in a relationship for two years...he is from Pakistan and I am from America. We are both Muslim, but because of my "past" his family has always hated me and never even gave me a chance. They would say all nasty things about me such as I was a whore, dirty, disgusting, oh I could keep going. Anywho, last summer his sister sneaked into his computer and read things about my past, that frankly were none of her business...it was family stuff. Well, she turned it around and made me look awful. His parents were trying to force him to break up with me and well, he didn't want to, so we worked something out and stayed together.
In November he gave me an engagement ring, behind his parents back at first because well, his parents would have disowned him and he wanted to graduate college first. The relationship wasn't always easy because of him traveling, but as any one of our friends can attest, we had that relationship everyone always wanted. We fought like anyone does, but we were that "model couple." I guess at least. Alright so get into what has happened now...
He left in May after graduation to go on Umrah (Islamic retreat). He promised his grandfather he would go before he gets a job so that he can start his life on the right path. The day before he left, we spent an amazing day together and well, he looked me in the eyes and swore to Allah that he would NEVER leave me and that he would be back on July 4th to be with me forever. He swore to Allah that no one would ever take him away from me. Well, two days before Umrah he broke up with me because his father was sick and he couldn't do it anymore. Then, five days later he contacted me again and we were back together and talking and working through all his fears. His Mother was always saying that she was dying because of us and his father said he would kill him if his Mother died because of what he was doing. Well, in Makkah (Islam's Holy City) his parents asked him to pick either them or me, well, he picked me. His parents were angry and all this stuff and making more threats. Well, to a Muslim making any decision in Makkah, is making a decision in front of Allah, and it is very very very bad to break it...anyway.
So, then we were fine and I mean, there were arguments and I was getting sick and my parents were threatening to take me away for a while from him because the emotional stress was taking a toll on my health. So, he then told his parents, when he got back home in Pakistan that he made his decision and that he was staying with me. He told me that no matter what forms his parents wanted him to sign he would sign. So then, July 2nd comes around and I find out that his Dad cancelled his ticket to come back on July 4th and we were both upset and started discussing him coming back and buying a ticket. Everything was great, "I love you's" and all those beautiful things we say. Then...on July 4th, he sent me a message before talking to his Dad about getting a ticket and he was like, "I love you and I promise I will be right back, I love you baby and I cannot wait to see you." He admitted that his Dad was going to flip on him, they always do...however...something happened then.
He broke up with me and hour after what he said again...and we have been broken up every since. He told me that his Dad threatened to kill him again, and that wasn't why he did it, he couldn't hurt his family anymore...etc etc. However, when I talked to him afterward, he kept telling me that he didn't want to do this, that he would never love anyone else, that he would never forget me, but that he HAD to do this for his family even though he didn't want to. My health has plummeted down the drain and well, it hasn't been very nice. Anyway...he hasn't changed his bank passwords, he hasn't deleted my pictures (from ANY e-mail account), he bought himself sex toys (a month after being apart), he is the name on my cell phone bill and we also have a joint bank account together. I asked him, since he wanted to "end it," that we need to close the joint bank account and I wanted my things, and we needed to call the cell phone company. Well, he never responded to any of that, but he would respond to other things I said, and all of that stuff is still open. Also, when I send him e-mails...he still reads them, he still saves them all.
Many of our BEST friends all say that he just needs time to get away from his parents, that there is no way that he would leave me...however, I mean it is so weird, you know? I know he misses me, he "gave me up for his parents", and he is SUPPOSED to come back in September (which he didn't know until I told him I saw his electronic ticket)...and well, he hasn't closed the bank account, he hasn't changed a password to anything, he still saves all my pictures and e-mails...no matter what they are. We don't talk anymore but, he had said that the only way we can move on is to do that, not talk...however from the conversation he has had with a mutual friend...he still...misses me terribly and can't move on but is trying to force himself and convince himself that it is okay to put his feelings aside for his family.
So here is my question: Is our relationship really over, or is he just trying to get back to America so that he can feel safe and then continue on? If there is anything I can do...what is it?
(P.S. No one...no one that knows us believes that he is breaking up with me for good. Also, if there is something you are confused on...please let me know...I can explain more.) Thank you for everything everyone.