Advice Please

[unikbydesign]

For all you men out there I need your help. I am a independant women (nice looking) good job, own my home, and have my own car.. You would think I was a catch. Well I meet someone who has his own business, owns his home, owns multiple cars, boat and travels. We started off strong (first mistake) but everything felt so right. He was feeling me and I was feeling him..into this world wind he took me out of town things were great...he had someone living with him when we meet, he got rid of her, I was seeing someone I got rid of him(that is how much we were feeling each other) then all of a sudden he says we need to slow down...this man has 8 childern but I did not judge him because he truly takes care of them all. So, that did not bother me, He was honest about it so I gave him credit for it. He has totally been distant now and I dont understand why. I excepted him trying to be in his world but he has not tried to fit in mine. I have been the women I am very nice etc this one has me puzzled. Then I wonder why he has not married any of his childrens mothers, then I wonder why he is not sweating me when (not to be conceided) I know I have alot to offer and fine. I have texted him twice he had not responded. A mutual friend he has told I am calling him like the others and am no different. I quess I was the only one caught up? how should I handle this?
Thanks for everyones responses in advance.

[Dasein]

Sounds like you are dating a player...

[unikbydesign]

Yeah, sorry to say. A mutual friend said to me let him wine and dine you..she never mentioned he was a player just he was a good person. Boy did I get played.

[Cain]

He broke up with you because you wouldn't be baby momma #9.

[unikbydesign]

And u know what he kept asking me if i wanted children. I said no, ur are right. truth be told his baby mothers were..and no pun intended (ghetto) section 8 etc etc

[Cain]

And u know what he kept asking me if i wanted children. I said no, ur are right. truth be told his baby mothers were..and no pun intended (ghetto) section 8 etc etc

I'll be baby momma #9 if he pays my rent.

[unikbydesign]

Not happening. So I was just a fling. I guess I knew it. but I did not want to believe it, I was hoping he would see me and want to be with me based off I look good, good person, down to earth have my own but that he looked beyond. I surpose one day the right person will come along, and I guess I need to wonder why I was willing to accept him being he had 8 children. younest 3 are all 2 (wow) what was I thinking?

[Dasein]

Not happening. So I was just a fling. I guess I knew it. but I did not want to believe it, I was hoping he would see me and want to be with me based off I look good, good person, down to earth have my own but that he looked beyond. I surpose one day the right person will come along, and I guess I need to wonder why I was willing to accept him being he had 8 children. younest 3 are all 2 (wow) what was I thinking?

You keep mentioning what a catch you are. Despite all this do you have any self esteem issues? Just putting it out there.

Because if you are all these things then you can do so much better than a player who is spreading his seed everywhere. Can you imagine the baggage you would have to put up with 8 kids plus different mothers. Damn!

[unikbydesign]

Thanks for the much needed smack in the face! Greatly appreciated and something I needed (straight talk) and yes, I do have a problem (i think) with self esteem, I guess am just wondering how could he not want me..(pretty stupid hugh)

[Dasein]

Thanks for the much needed smack in the face! Greatly appreciated and something I needed (straight talk) and yes, I do have a problem (i think) with self esteem, I guess am just wondering how could he not want me..(pretty stupid hugh)

Did he not get rid of someone he was living with to be with you? What makes you think he hasn't done that to you also.

Btw you also got rid of someone..maybe he is thinking "how could she not want me?"

This guy sounds like a real player to me and I hate to say that you have been played.

Also it doesn't matter how many times you tell yourself that you are a good catch. You have to have feel this inside of you.

[unikbydesign]

Your right. I think I fell for him so because he treated me...as I would normally treat, being my friend I kicked to the curve was needy. But he was into me. When I meet this guy I was not looking, he claim he wasnt looking and it just went from there..I did not have to spend a dime on anything. Now, I feel stupid texting him earlier today and he probally telling people am sweating him...oh well stupid I was. it just felt good to have someone take care of me for a change. Sunday he told a friend that I was no differnent then the others cause I called him twice (he did not like that) then later that night he calls me..but am the one sweating him or bothering him why he call me? (i did not answer) then today I text him and told him I missed talking to him(stupid) saturday I had been over his house and he got mad because he said I was conversating with the hired help...(wow) an old man over 50 and he got angry. You know GOD does things for reasons.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

IMO, just from the fact that he threw away a relationship to be with you shows enough in my eyes. If he would do it to another woman why wouldnt he do it to you? His intentions were bad from the jump. I've been there already so its not like Im speaking out of inexperience, and I got dogged out like hell. All I can say is take this experience as a lesson for future relationships. Yea you fell for him, but just as fast as you fell you could get up just as quick. He's an ass, and for all he knows he probably just let go wifey material.

[unikbydesign]

IMO, just from the fact that he threw away a relationship to be with you shows enough in my eyes. If he would do it to another woman why wouldnt he do it to you? His intentions were bad from the jump. I've been there already so its not like Im speaking out of inexperience, and I got dogged out like hell. All I can say is take this experience as a lesson for future relationships. Yea you fell for him, but just as fast as you fell you could get up just as quick. He's an ass, and for all he knows he probably just let go wifey material.

Thanks you know its crazy, I think its more upsetting knowing that I could have walked away from him in the begining and didnt because I wanted to give him a chance know matter what but he ended up playing me. I have not heard anything from him. So I have decided like u say get over it and take it as a lesson learned. I want revenage but am to grown for that. He must have shortcomings in his own fears and personality. Because trurth be told yes, I consider myself as wifey material. And compared to the women he is used to dating they are younger and they are dependant on the system. I am grown and sexy and have my own.

[unikbydesign]

He is PLAYER!

Nothing more nothing less.

He knows how to manipulate women and you are just his experiment.

Dump his ass and find decent guy!

Ur right. It just easier said. Now I have no choice but to dump him. He has not called, responded to any of my text message. So my mind says **** it but my heart is hurt. Why am not sure. I guess I never thought I would not get played, I thought we were on the same page, I respected him for him off the back when I should have walked away and he should nothing but disrespect. Then am like is it the chase? He wined, dined spent mad money on me in the beginning talked alot of trash ex: your going to be my wife, do u think we can live together, its like a rush for him I guess because once I started giving in to him thats when he started running the other way. I think that is the part that has me torn. what is your advice on that?