dubin

[DUBIN]

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 mos. a couple of days ago. We went out 12 yrs ago and he cheated, so that ended that. We both did our own things all of this time and never saw each other except on rare occasions. back in novemeber i split with my husband of 8 yrs. lots of pain. in january i walked into the bar where me boyfriend works and we started talking. nothing ever happened for awhile, he just kind of took care of me. in february we started seeing each other and consequently moved in together again. i have had alot of insecurities because of my ex. i caused alot of stupid problems because of this, but we always made it through. this last time i did something stupid he left and at the time he was moving out he said he didnt want to break up, but when he called later he said he was done. i tried to get him to not give up because we do really love each other. he said he would think about it. later that night i told him i would just let him go so he didnt have the pressure of having to deal and we decided we would be friends. yesterday after something with my daughter happened and i asked for his help but he couldnt at the time, he later called after he had been drinking and asked how everything was( after i had already told him everything was fine earlier). he told me he thought i was going to go back to my ex, which would never happen. we have a mutual friend who is having a birthday party where he works and i asked him if he thought he could handle me being there and he said it would be no problem. i know he still loves me because he told me and he hasnt cut off contact with me. i just need a mans perspective on this situation. do i give up on this man. and i must say he has some issues that are hard to deal with too. i guess my main question is how do act around him. do i ignore him or say hey and go on about my business. i will see him every weekend, because he works where me and all of my friends hang out.

[Mish]

i caused alot of stupid problems because of this, but we always made it through. this last time i did something stupid he left and at the time he was moving out he said he didnt want to break up, but when he called later he said he was done.

So that something stupid you did, what was it?

[DUBIN]

i let what my ex did to me make me insecure and want my bf to be different than he is. maybe comparing him to my ex. and i pushed to get what i want until i drove him away.

[ecojeanne]

you say he has some issues hard to deal with...well in my opinion its best to keep away from trouble. No offence to people who have issues but u have a daughter to think about...is he worth bringing his issues on u and ur daughters lives? u deserve a life which involve other people making u happy of course! but one that suits both u and ur daughter.