Hatred

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I dont really know your situation, but based on what im reading, you are saying you are sad but you want to hide it with anger, which is understandable. but either sad or angry you are keeping your feelings bottled up inside and that can cause resentment towards her. Are there any hobbies that you have that may make you feel better about the situation?

[Cain]

The 5 stages of mourning, according to Kubler-Ross:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Depression
4. Bargaining
5. Acceptance

By holding on to the anger stage, one is moving backwards in the process. (I think that bargaining comes before depression, though?)

There is no set order. They can occur in any order and they can skip forward or backwards at any time.

During this break up, my order was as follows:

1. Bargaining
2. Denial
3. Depression/Denial
4. Anger/Acceptance

[Cain]

I dont really know your situation, but based on what im reading, you are saying you are sad but you want to hide it with anger, which is understandable. but either sad or angry you are keeping your feelings bottled up inside and that can cause resentment towards her. Are there any hobbies that you have that may make you feel better about the situation?

Of course there is resentment towards her.

She's an emotionally unstable bitch.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Of course there is resentment towards her.

She's an emotionally unstable bitch.

And do you really want to spend your time being angry at her? You said you dont want to be sad over the situation if she isnt, so whats the difference when it comes to anger? All your built up anger is a waste of time, but you have to realize that on your own. All I can do is give my opinion, which is to just let go of any emotions for this girl and move on.

[Cain]

And do you really want to spend your time being angry at her? You said you dont want to be sad over the situation if she isnt, so whats the difference when it comes to anger? All your built up anger is a waste of time, but you have to realize that on your own. All I can do is give my opinion, which is to just let go of any emotions for this girl and move on.

That doesn't happen in the course of a few weeks. I'm sure in time there will be no emotion for her, but it won't be right now.

So all I can do right is turn whatever sadness I have about this situation into anger. No matter what there's going to be some kind of emotion and I'd rather it be anger than sadness.

[starbuck]

This is for you, Cain:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho1yJwvWCrw"]YouTube - Whatever Gets You Thru The Night - John Lennon[/ame]

[shh!]

There is no set order. They can occur in any order and they can skip forward or backwards at any time.

During this break up, my order was as follows:

1. Bargaining
2. Denial
3. Depression/Denial
4. Anger/Acceptance

I would have put your order as follows:

1. Denial (it's just a break)
2. Bargaining (I'll stop doing the things she doesn't like & she'll take me back)
3. Depression (only for a short bit, though)
4. Bargaining (Don't make me feel sad, I'll do anything rather than feel sad, even if it means being angry.)
4. Anger

[Cain]

I would have put your order as follows:

1. Denial (it's just a break)
2. Bargaining (I'll stop doing the things she doesn't like & she'll take me back)
3. Depression (only for a short bit, though)
4. Bargaining (Don't make me feel sad, I'll do anything rather than feel sad, even if it means being angry.)
4. Anger

When we first broke up, it wasn't denial because SHE is the one that said it was just a break. So the very first thing I did was bargaining... trying to narrow down what the problem was and figure out what I had to do to make it better. And I wasn't depressed until after I got to the denial stage.

[starbuck]

I think you skipped over the depression stage entirely.

[lesa]

Of course there is resentment towards her.

She's an emotionally unstable bitch.

Anger is fine as it is an emotional response to how you feel about the situation...what she did and how she handled it. It's a natural response just like sadness. It is temporary (although it does not seem like it right now).

Hate is dangerous for the health and outlook on life. When you hate you are showing dislike and hostility for the person (many people do this when they go from love to no love). It is a mask to help you feel better but the problem is that it is everlasting. You will really make yourself hurt much longer by hating her. You are not hurting her at all by hating. You are only hurting yourself. Hate last for a long time and therefore can cause health/psychological problems.

Someone can mention her name or anyone who has her name and cause bad flashback when you hate too much.

[Cain]

I think you skipped over the depression stage entirely.

No, I did go into that stage. It didn't last very long, but I did hit that stage. And I hated it.

[Cain]

Anger is fine as it is an emotional response to how you feel about the situation...what she did and how she handled it. It's a natural response just like sadness. It is temporary (although it does not seem like it right now).

Hate is dangerous for the health and outlook on life. When you hate you are showing dislike and hostility for the person (many people do this when they go from love to no love). It is a mask to help you feel better but the problem is that it is everlasting. You will really make yourself hurt much longer by hating her. You are not hurting her at all by hating. You are only hurting yourself. Hate last for a long time and therefore can cause health/psychological problems.

Someone can mention her name or anyone who has her name and cause bad flashback when you hate too much.

I've dealt with this my entire life. I know how to work my emotions. I won't feel this forever. I'll feel it until I know I've moved on.

I'll always know that it was her fault that we broke up. I know I did some things I could have done differently, but her lack of communication is the reason for the break up. I don't care about it anymore. If she wants to throw it away, fine. She can try to move on and I hope that she has a horrible dating life from this point forward. I hope she gets into another abusive relationship and she realizes what she had and what she lost.

[Junket]

Cain, don't listen to these people, the lot of them will try to undermine your emotions and try to tell you why what you're doing is wrong. Try to steal your justification for feeling them.

Just be angry and f*ck these faggots.

[shh!]

I would try to avoid blaming her entirely for this break up. Blaming her will prevent you from learning the lessons you need to learn for your next relationship...

unless of course you don't mind experiencing this relationship all over again.

[Junket]

Stop it Vash.