Relationships & Funerals - Please Help!

[FaithBT]

Hello,

I realize this is an odd post and I wasn't exactly sure where to post it, but I have a somewhat urgent question. My boyfriend and I have been together about 7 years and have lived together for the last several years...A relative of his passed away this morning, and we are supposed to be going out of state for the services this weekend. My dilemma is that I've only been to one wake and funeral in my life, many years ago, and I am trying to be very supportive to him to show my sympathies, but I have so much anxiety over what to expect this weekend. His relative who passed is on his father's side of the family, whom I've never met. Although we've been together for a long time, we live in another state, and since we never had a wedding, I've never met that side of his family (oddly enough we are very close with the other side of his family, he just doesn't keep in touch much with his father's side because they were just never very close when he was growing up).

Anyway, because I've never met them, I realize the introduction alone after 7 years may be a bit awkward. But what I'm mostly worried about is the wake. I know from the one I've been at, and from what he's already told me to expect, that the family stands and accepts condolences from those who come by to pay their respects. He told me I can stand up there with him, but I feel this may be extremely weird because A) It wasn't really my loss, it was his..I didn't even know the relative who passed on, and B) He will be standing with the rest of his family, who never met me, so I feel like they would think it's weird too to have people coming up and saying "sorry" to me...

I guess I am just looking for other people's opinions/experiences. If we were married, I think I'd feel more comfortable standing up there with him and the rest of his family, but for some reason this feels very awkward and uncomfortable for me. Is it normal/acceptable/okay for me to stand up there with him even though I don't know the rest of his family and the loss wasn't really mine? Anyone else have any similar experiences or advice? Thank you!

[ecojeanne]

well i've been to a few and its usually only immediate family only who stand to take the condolences, maybe he wants you there beside him to support him.

i see nothing wrong with it though

[FaithBT]

Thanks for the quick response! Phew! I'm glad you told me. I thought it was immediate family only, based on my one experience...I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be a lousy girlfriend if I wasn't awkwardly standing up there with a bunch of strangers. I'm glad I know now - thanks again!