do i have the right

[bobbydigytel]

me and my ex-fiance still live togother, but will be eventually renting out our townhouse and then go our separate ways

we have a 4 year old son together

my question is, she has been going out alot more recently

and i have to stay home with the kid, i feel like i don't get that same opportunity to go out

i do go out, but not just as much as her

do i have the right to setup a schedule on who has to stay home and who can go out until we rent out our TH

ofcourse the schedule will be flexible, nothing concrete like work

[Mish]

do i have the right to setup a schedule on who has to stay home and who can go out until we rent out our TH

I think you do, what makes you think you don't have a right for that?

Though, you might want to start formalising the visiting /caring rights so both of you are clear on you duties, especially since you are planning to move out soon.

[bobbydigytel]

I think you do, what makes you think you don't have a right for that?

Though, you might want to start formalising the visiting /caring rights so both of you are clear on you duties, especially since you are planning to move out soon.

we have discussed the visiting/caring rights in general

i was hesitant in giving up custody, but when i think about it, it really doesn't matter who will is the official guardian

because of our schedules, she sometimes works late hours(too late that she won't be able to pick him up before daycare closes), i pick up and drop off my son at daycare everyday now

i'm still going to be seeing him everyday, just not as much

she is going to be moving back to her parents house, i'm going to find a basement to rent out that is close to her

we will be splitting the daycare payments, not sure how we are going to handle on buying clothes just yet

[Joker]

Yeah you should aim to have a balance between looking after the child as one it is unfair on you as you don't have the oppurtunity she has and on the child as they won't get a good share of time spent with both parents

[bobbydigytel]

Yeah you should aim to have a balance between looking after the child as one it is unfair on you as you don't have the oppurtunity she has and on the child as they won't get a good share of time spent with both parents

great advice, this is my first divorce

[GrkScorp]

i was hesitant in giving up custody, but when i think about it, it really doesn't matter who will is the official guardian

You say that now.., but wait till tax season comes around..

Whoever has primary custody gets to claim the child.., which would let them get the exemption.., and also allow them to file under "Head of Household" status as opposed to "Single".., and take advantage of better tax rates..

Also.., if you have primary custody.., you can expect your child support amount to be very little if anything at all.. Which means you're just looking at the possibility of paying "spousal maintenance" (formerly known as: alimony).. Spousal maintenance is an "exclusion".., which means it doesn't even count as part of your Gross Income.., that's not the case with child support..

Also.., whoever gets primary custody might be able to claim the Child Care Credit.., Child Tax Credit.., and Additional Child Tax Credit..

Depending on your level of income.., having primary custody of the child may also allow you to qualify for the Earned Income Credit by placing you at a higher income threshold category..

Yeah.., aside from that.., it doesn't really matter who the official guardian really is..

[Only-virgins]

Leave it and just pay the stupid child support. Who is she to leave the kid with you, she is the women...she can be the mother. Now go plant your seed somewhere else!

[CherriBlossomGirl]

You say that now.., but wait till tax season comes around..

Whoever has primary custody gets to claim the child.., which would let them get the exemption.., and also allow them to file under "Head of Household" status as opposed to "Single".., and take advantage of better tax rates..

Also.., if you have primary custody.., you can expect your child support amount to be very little if anything at all.. Which means you're just looking at the possibility of paying "spousal maintenance" (formerly known as: alimony).. Spousal maintenance is an "exclusion".., which means it doesn't even count as part of your Gross Income.., that's not the case with child support..

Also.., whoever gets primary custody might be able to claim the Child Care Credit.., Child Tax Credit.., and Additional Child Tax Credit..

Depending on your level of income.., having primary custody of the child may also allow you to qualify for the Earned Income Credit by placing you at a higher income threshold category..

Yeah.., aside from that.., it doesn't really matter who the official guardian really is..

How humanitarian. This makes the kid sound like a bargaining chip. I would want to spend as much time physically possible with my child. Custody doesn't matter? Jumping Jesus, of course it matters! Don't you want to be involved with your child? If not, just cut off the visitation and custody completely. Yeek, people. I could just shake my head until it fell off.

[bobbydigytel]

at this point, i'm not concerned about the money

besides, we still have the house
we are taking turns on who gets to file for the house and for our son

i misquoted my statement about the custody part

regardless who will be the primary guardian, we will both have an active role in his life

[agatha]

we will both have an active role in his life

that's very important to the kid. You, both, have to show your affection to you kid.

Both of you must settle an agreement on who will be with the kid.
You should be fair. Spend time with your kid fairly.

[Dasein]

How humanitarian. This makes the kid sound like a bargaining chip. I would want to spend as much time physically possible with my child. Custody doesn't matter? Jumping Jesus, of course it matters! Don't you want to be involved with your child? If not, just cut off the visitation and custody completely. Yeek, people. I could just shake my head until it fell off.

Cherri GRK is in accountancy..am I right GRK? So therefore has a bit of knowledge in this area. I can understand that you may think he is being harsh but it's good to know all of these things for the future anyway.

To the OP you have every right to share the responsibility whether or not that means working out when both of you will be out.

BTW is she seeing anyone else?

[IndiReloaded]

Why can't you have shared custody?

As for Grks post, this is why ppl get lawyers when they split.

Its easy to ONLY focus on the feelings, and that's important, but one must also be practical. Imagine, 2 years from now, you meet a new woman, the girl of your dreams & you want to start a family. Imagine the problems you'll have if you *don't* have things sorted out properly with your current relationship.

Don't be cold, but DO be practical. You can't eat LOVE, you know.