Move on?

[blondeee]

So I've recently learned that one of my guy friends has a thing for me. I'll tell you a bit about him.. He's friendly, doesn't like relationships, doesn't really say much about girls, is secretive and has probably slept with a lot of girls.. (wow that sounds really bad..) Anyway, I know him well enough that any of the girls that he has slept with he doesn't talk to anymore, he barely talked to them before and he barely showed them an affection whatsoever. About a month or two ago, he overheard me saying how my exboyfriend broke up with me and basically his comments about that were "he's an idiot, a girl like you only comes around once in a lifetime".. For a while now, he's said to his friends "what I wouldn't do to be with her" and things like that.
So, a couple weeks ago, we started talking more at a party and I could feel the chemistry starting to grow. So then he started texting me and stuff, and we continued to text back and forth everyday for two weeks. Some of them would just be random and some would be for me to go out to lunch.. I never really said yes to any of them, but I didn't outright refuse either. Anyway, so the texts continued until Saturday. We saw each other at a party again. We hung out pretty much the whole time and flirted and cuddled and held hands.. Then, the next day he texts me and I text back but he doesn't text me after that. The next day he doesn't text, and the next..

Basically, what I'm getting at is.. A) I'm either paranoid or crazy, or B) he got bored?
Should I stick around with this guy or should I just move on, knowing his past history??

[thebam]

Hi Blondeee,
I suppose on one hand you could say, what would you have to loose if you gave this a go.Then again a friend and poss get hurt.If i were you i would take extra time to back away, let him chase and if he don't then you have lost nothing, he does then you know chances are he is chasing for a real reason other than just a quick one nighter.In my experience if i liked a girl souly for one thing i certainly would not spend a month trying, so in that respect if you back right off and he continues to contact you in this manner then?

Take your time, try not even to think too much about it and let fate decide if is or is not......Bam.

[agatha]

A little bit paranoid (you), I can sense that you already fallen for him. And thus, he maybe got bored because he doesn't get immediately what he wants, like what he did to other girls.

Move on! Always think of his past relationship with those girls.
He might do that to you even though your friends.

[Mish]

Basically, what I'm getting at is.. A) I'm either paranoid or crazy, or B) he got bored?
Should I stick around with this guy or should I just move on, knowing his past history??

I think it all depends on what you want out of it. Are you interested in him? Are you seeing him as relationship material or something else?

[GrkScorp]

Then, the next day he texts me and I text back but he doesn't text me after that. The next day he doesn't text, and the next..

Basically, what I'm getting at is.. A) I'm either paranoid or crazy, or B) he got bored?
Should I stick around with this guy or should I just move on, knowing his past history??

C) You've failed to realize that he's waiting to see your interest in him..

Who's been doing most of the texting and initiating? What has he been getting back? A not-a-yes-but-not-a-no answer.. Sounds like he's not exactly sure about your interest in him and is waiting for you to show some of it.. He feels like he's been showing you all this interest but has been getting nothing back in return.. (yes.., of course I understand how hard it is for you to show your interest in him.., how that would make you feel.., how you think it makes you look.., etc)

Talk about misunderstanding between the two of you..

Text him back.., and ask him if he's not doing anything this weekend and wants to get together later to do something.. (seriously.., is there anything wrong with that?)

If your pride makes it such that the idea of even doing that is too hard on you.., then I think it's best you move on until someone else comes along who is more desperate.., I mean.., more willing.., to keep pushing..

"But I've been giving him all these hints"

How's that been working out? You're not dating a girl.., you're dating a guy.. And face it.., in large.., guys don't get hints.., so you've been wasting your energy just to tell yourself that you did something..

Send him a text that clearly shows him some interest.., NOT "I really enjoyed talking last night" or "I really liked your company last night".. that's meaningless.. that's how bad most guys are.. I know it's frustrating.., but don't try and change it.., just accept it.. "If you're free later this week.., I was wondering if you'd want to do hang out again this weekend".. (guys don't need excuses.., or a reason.., that's seriously enough)

If he doesn't respond to that.., THEN you can tell yourself that you tried.., he got bored.., and you can move on..

[ecojeanne]

well blondee....i remember you and i remember this thread

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/24320-i-love-my-bestfriends-lover.html[/url]

so you decided to go for it

we said he was a player ....i stand by what i wrote.....you decided to forget about your friend then....

[GrkScorp]

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/24320-i-love-my-bestfriends-lover.html[/url]

Is this the same guy?

[ecojeanne]

grk i would imagine it is from the description and the 'texting' for the last couple of weeks...it is

[blondeee]

It isn't the same guy actually.. and I have stopped talking to that other guy, the "my best friends lover", I guess I could explain in more detail.. That best friends lover thing was about 2 or 3 months ago, and nothing ever happened with him and I and I knew it was clearly wrong so I pretty much started ignoring him and I haven't really had conversation with him in a while.. but I still sometimes think about him.. I keep wondering if I've made the right choice about the whole not talking to him, which is why when I asked everyone, people reassured me it was. Therefore I thanked you all. I guess I just know a lot of players .. who I seem to fall for..?! And I'm a text-whore....

[RiceMuncher]

GrkScorps advice sounds rlly good. What a pro =]
mmm ill just add a lil bit.

If you dont want to chase .. then maybe wait for abit longer?
He might of run out of pre-paid credit? HHAAH
But if he likes you, you'll get a txt pretty soon. (within a week Ide say from your last txt... coz guys are slow (like me) =])

anywhos ciao.

[ecojeanne]

[QUOTE=blondeee;376488] That best friends lover thing was about 2 or 3 months ago, QUOTE]

but you posted it on the 22 sept right? am i wrong?


EDIT: i'll take it that you have met someone else and you have been texting both of them at the same time then ye?

[blondeee]

yes i did post it on the 22nd.. and THIS thing is presently.
the best friends lover was 3 months ago, beginning of summer...