Help Me!!!!!!!

[xO Lanna]

I need help. I've only been dating my boyfriend for two months. But I've known him for a yr and a half. Get this, he was my physics teacher in high school. The age difference is 12 years but it feels like we were born a day apart. I am so deeply in love with him sometimes I wake up and I feel like the past two months were only a dream. I wish there were words in the dictionary to describe how I feel but there aren't. I have a problem. I am extremely emotional. I constantly feel as if he is cheating on me or is mad. But it's never any. I have been like this my entire life; with friends, family, and other boyfriends. I can only keep people in my life for short periods of time. I hate myself for this. I don't want to lose him! If I did I don't know how i could continue my life. We went to NYC this past week and just got back today. We liv in FL and drove the entire way. He doesn't have the money right now but he took me there for medical purposes. I acted rude for no reason and overly emotional. I checked out his email he left up on my laptop with an email from a women saying "Okay so I'll see you on the 30th!" Naturally I flipped out. I didn't say anything until we were dinning at a Thai restaurant and he told me it was the manager of a bar his band was going to be playing at on the 30th. He told me how sick he was of me acting this way and before we finished eating I threw money on the table and stormed out. As soon as my foot hit the floor I knew I made a mistake. He almost ended it with me multiple times before arriving home and now we just had a long discussion. I need help. I love him more then the air I breathe that keeps me living. I want to change so badly. I don't know what to do. He's giving me one more chance, any suggestions?



Signed,
Selfish Bitch

[miSSleepy]

well it's very good that you recognise what your problem is. But since it requires a change of attitude you have always had, it's not something we can easily help you with online.

But try being very conscious of it. Every time something happens that gets to you, before you act, ask yourself if you're being unreasonable. If you are, stop what you're doing. Even just leaving the scene could help.

I know it's an impulse thing, I have those too.

[bluesummer]

First of all, this is a product of your age. He's a 30 year old MAN, and you are just an 18 year old GIRL. Your problem is quite clearly insecurity....which isn't a big deal, it's pretty common in girls your age. You get jealous over every little thing, so dating a man that much older than you is probably not something you're ready for. He's likely had quite a few relationships already, where you have little to none, and definitely no meaningful adult relationships. Besides that, you're investing way too much in him emotionally at such an early stage ....how can you be so crazily, madly in love with someone you've been with two months? I think you're caught up in the rush of infatuation, that dating this older man is 'exciting' and makes you feel more 'mature'.

Sorry, but if it's this bad two months in, it doesn't look good. You need to work on yourself and your insecurity issues before you will be able to make a relationship work.

[xO Lanna]

Last night after the talk he came in the bedroom and we cuddled and kissed. I feel like I can work on this while we are still together. I seriously see him as the man I will marry and have children with. I'm going with miSSleepy's advise. See where that goes. I'll do anything to keep us together.