What the dating market is NOT:
Contrary to anecdotal evidence.., there is a lot of humor and popular perception about what the dating market is.. But those are more the products of dishonesty and ego.., and less a reflection of how things really are..
The dating market is not a cutesy-fake way for men and women to hide under the notion of "love" and "romance" to get what they want.. Recall the concept of "projection".. The people who feel this way.., are most likely H/Ds.., of either sex.., who are really only interested in sex or money to begin with.., and perceive things as being structured in a way that forces them to have to trade sex for money.., or money for sex.. That view is nothing more than the product of the perception of some people who are only looking for those things.. I can assure you.., that while you will definitely encounter "some" women who are only interested in your money.., this is definitely not the case for "all" women..
Ben's Theory on dating:
All women are whores.. That is to say.., that they feel that they are entitled more than sex.., in return for just sex.. Identical to prostitution.., not only do they feel no shame in their expectations.., they verbally demand it.. If that's the kind of respect they have for themselves.., then how can they expect me to treat them any differently?
(In case you're not a regular.., Ben is my @sshole friend.. He outnumbers me consistently on how many women he sleeps with (not dates).. Conservatively.., he's with someone new every 2-3 days.. that's 2-3 new people every week.., 8-12 people every month.., you do the math on how many people that is every year)
His theory has a lot of appeal.., at first glance.., if you're both a man or woman.., you might feel that it captures what goes on.. I'll explain the biases and fallacies that are involved.., and how that conclusion isn't consistent with the reality of things..
Here is how the dating market works..
Unless someone's financial or sexual value is a deal-breaker.., then they are considered a romantic option.. If you can get along with them.., then you date them.. If you really like them.., you find yourself in a relationship.. If you love them.., why wouldn't you want to spend the rest of your life with them? (Unless of course that promise to spend the rest of your life with them had potential financial and legal consequences attached).., but if it didn't.., why wouldn't you want to commit yourself completely to them and nobody else for the rest of your life?
What is more valuable to you in the dating market?
- Sex? (why aren't you in the market for sex then?)
- Love?
- Money? (why don't you just work then?)
That's all there is to the dating market.. It's pretty simple.. But as soon as emotions get involved.., people's expectations aren't met.., people's egos start to get involved.., competition.., frustration.., anger.., and the desire for something better.., make things fall apart.. It's the biggest limiting belief most people have.., and it holds them back.., either by keeping them afraid.., uncertain.., single.., lonely.., or constantly miserable and unhappy.., never satisfied with what they have..
Don't be confused by ego-statements made by either gender.. A hot guy can't have any girl he wants.., nor can a hot girl have any guy she wants.. A rich guy can't have any girl he wants.., nor can a rich girl have any guy she wants.. That belief stems from the legitimate fear of being manipulated or used.., and nobody wants to be fooled or tricked.., much less hurt.. Neither sex has any power over the other.., simply because.., weather they would like to accept the reality or not.., nobody is that special or unique.. Everyone is the dating market is a commodity.., and they're all quite homogeneous..
If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.