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Thread: So confused!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    So confused!

    Hello, I am looking for advice and opinions. I have been dating a wonderful guy, "B", since December. We have never really had any problems and he makes me very happy. I really think he is "the One." In August, I moved across country to finish my final year of school. In the two months, we haven't had any of those "long distance" issues. Now on 2 weeks ago. B called me out of the blue, and we talked for about 5 minutes. He gets a call, tells me he'll call back, and we hang up. 40 minutes go by with no call. I get angry, picturing myself sitting there waiting for the rest of the night, so I send him a text saying "don't bother going to the trouble of calling tonight." B calls back immediately but I don't pick up. I realize this was very childish of me! Eventually that night I do text him, but no response. For 3 days, I don't get a response from him, not from texts or voicemails. Naturally I am getting upset. Finally he calls back, and I immediately confront him about not responding. He tells me he never got anything from me, but I *know* he's lying. I laugh and he's gets offended, tells me to "take care" and then hangs up. I call him 3 times, no answer, and then I stop because I feel like I'm acting crazy. Later that night he texted me to say he does love me, and we'll talk "later." It's been a week, and we still haven't talked. We used to talk every day. He's called once in the past 3 days, and that was tonight. He was getting ready for work and didn't say much. Now on the other hand, I have been calling and texting way too much. Let me make this clear: I am not handling this well. I know that, and it does bother me. I am an educated woman and this is not my first relationship! I know how I look to him right now and it is embarassing, yet I don't seem to have the self-control to stop myself from calling/texting. My worry is, he wants to break things off, but doesn't want the confrontation, so instead he just won't call and I'll go crazy. So that's where I'm at tonight. I am confused, but I know the best thing is to give him some space. I think he is wrong for not calling, but I know I've made some mistakes too. B totally shuts down during fights, I've learned that. Somehow I've reverted back to my 13 year-old self. As of tonight, I'm going to stop calling and texting. That's the plan anyway. If anyone has been in my shoes and wants to share advice or do/do nots, that would be great. Right now I feel lonely and sad, and so confused! Please help me out. Jen

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    192
    I've been with your experienced too last three months ago. I was like so crazy with that guy. That I cannot focused on my work because of him, always thinking of him. He just called me if he wanted to. I'll always called him but he ended it immediately. No response with my messages. So I just told myself not to bother him anymore and move on. Later they will just realize our worth.

    Girl one thing I can advice. MOVE ON!
    He's not the only guy in this world. I know its hard because you love him but you have to do it. Your stupid if you will force yourself to him. Anyways, it's not your lost, k?
    Don't Get Me Wrong

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    Thanks so much for the reply. Breaking up with him seems to be the common consensus among my friends, and is probably what I'd suggest to anyone else. It is much easier said than done. In my paranoid mind, I imagine that he has found someone else, or he is so digusted by my behavior that he doesn't want me anymore. It is the not knowing that hurts. If he told me he hated my guts, I could live with that. I could walk away with minimal regrets. Do you know what I mean? I just thank God I work tomorrow. I'm driving myself crazy imagining how our conversations should go, if only he'd call.

  4. #4
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    Sounds to me like he's met someone else, sorry hun.

    Oh, and don't ever get your self-esteem wrapped up in another person. Its not attractive and its also foolish. If this guy can't contact you, forget him.

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