how long does it take you to get over EX?

[moonriverlove]

It has been 2 months for me. But not easy at all. I still not over him yet. Although the sadness is not that intense like one month ago, whenever I think about it, I feel so down, sometimes with tears.. I miss him a lot, miss our past a lot. I guess I still not fully accept the "break up" emotionally, I want him back and image we could be back together some time in the future. I now it's not healthy. But I just feel this way. Don't know what to do..

[ecojeanne]

actually it's two months for me too, i still hate him and actually still want him to suffer. i cried a bit when i broke up with him but only because i felt such a fool and hated him and was embarrassed that i could be taken in. but i do feel better about myself now...but thats all. i nearly told him a few days ago how much of an a$$hole he was etc etc after too many drinks, my friend stopped me...thank goodness....but now he thinks i'm ok with him....dammit!

[Indus18]

For how long did you date the guy? A popular saying is that it takes half as long as the relationship lasted to truly get over the person.

Obviously I wouldn't call that a real indicator, but if you want someone to quantify it, that's a nice place to start guessing. The girl I dated for 3.5 years took me about a year and a half to get over, so for me it was close, but I guess it depends on how much he hurt you and how much you loved him....

[HUNT3R]

It took me just over a year to get over someone I was with for 11 months. Like indus18 said, it depends on how intense the feelings were and how much you were hurt.

[moonriverlove]

Thanks.
Love is so complicated and hurt.
Do you guys want get back with EX after break up?
I really do.
It's so bothering.

[blackzj52]

its been 3 months, i dated her for 14 months.
im not nearly as bad as i was that first 2 months. iv been rather good and have come to terms with it in the last month, but theres always something that manages to remind me of her... or something we did..
oh well. life goes on. get out and enjoy urself and MAKE SURE YOU LAUGH! i cant stress that enough, it makes you feel so much better

[snoz]

It really is up to your own personal attitude or how strong you are emotionally and probably how the break up took place.

For me it was a 5 year relationship and reason being she cheated on me. And one thing that worked for me was to try and see why she did cheat on me instead of hating her so much. Eventually I accepted the breakup since I was crushed COMPLETELY and made myself believe there was just no way of getting back together.

Took me about a good month or so but I have a strong mentality. Going out with your friends definitely help and day by day you'll forget why you were so upset in the first place

[Gigabitch]

My opinion is that it takes exactly as long to get over them as you were together, but this requires explanation. By "together", I mean committed to that person in your heart. You can start getting over someone long before the breakup. For instance, I was over my ex-husband before we got divorced.

[doppelgaenger]

The wounds heal, but the scars remain.

Eventually you just simply forget all the details of the relationship, because you stop caring. Eventually you'll forget all the reasons you argued, you'll forget what the first kiss felt like, and you'll forget every moment you spent fornicating. You'll forget her number you dialed so many times, and you'll start to forget what she looked like, unless you see her often. You'll start to wonder why you invested in the relationship when it ended the way it did, because you won't remember what you've learned from it (until you fall in love with someone else) You will look at any poems you wrote for her as cliché. You'll go back over love letters you sent each other and notice how desperate you were. You'll forget the day you met, the day you got together, and the day(s) you broke up. You won't even remember how long you were together; it may have only been 2 years, but after a while you forget, and start to say it was only 1.5 years, or maybe 3 years.

You will remember a few things though; usually the bad things. You'll remember any time she cheated on you, any hurtful things she said to you, and so forth. You'll always remember her name. But once you're over her, you won't really care anymore; you aren't bothered when you see her, even with someone else, and you're ready to be with someone else.

But you know, the scars will always be there, for you to grieve over.

[agatha]

Also I, it depends...
It's easy to get over the ex when you minimize thinking of him...

I also agree with them that it depends on how you love that person.

[blackzj52]

its been nearly 3 months..
im still not cpmpletely over her. i miss all the good times we had.
its not easy.
and its hard not to think about them
especially when so many things remind you of them. i cant listen to some songs because they remind me of her so much, one in specific "guardian angel" by red jump sute. that was my song to her. but it wasnt our song.

[JackBauer]

2 months and counting...and I STILL friggin' think of her every day. Doesn't help does she works with me.

Went out with friends (and had fun), dated other women, and took up a new hobby...nothing seems to really help. Went out with some really cool women, but I'm just 100% not interested in them at all.

The funny thing is, I'm really happy apart from not being with her. My life's all good, I just miss her to bits, and don't see that changing anytime soon. We have a no-contact rule, and I'm totally following it. Yet, whenever I see her, I feel like punching myself. I know what I did wrong to ruin the whole thing, and the knowledge of it together with the fact that she doesn't want to give me a second chance SUCKS. (I didn't cheat on her or anything. She was really depressed when we dated, I was too nice because of it, and fell into the smothering trap...which isn't really me at all...but she somehow messed with my head, and I let it happen.)

Guess I'll just have to hang in there and see what happens. Gonna give her space and time to "calm down", focus on myself, and maybe give it another go after a few weeks/months if things improve and if I still feel for her then.

TIP: NEVER (!!!) start anything with a work colleague!!