Problems with Women... :)

[Aurith]

Hey all,

I'm a 23 year old male. I've had one serious relationship that lasted several years, from 16 to 20, at which point I found out she was cheating on me. So, that was the end of that.

After that, I've had a real disdain for women. I love sex though, so I have ended up using woman after woman with really no regard for them. Yes, I enjoy the sex, but I can't stand them - just hearing them talk annoys me.

On top of that, I've never gone after a woman and failed to get her, regardless of her situation. I don't think I'm exceptionally good looking or anything, but I've been told a number of times I have an incredible charisma... I've never had a problem getting people to do what I want and making them think it was their idea.

I was pretty happy going along this way, until I met a woman through a friend of mine. Very attractive, smart, funny, and we get along GREAT. Recently she's expressed a serious interest in me, and I couldn't really stop myself (even though I knew I should) and I reciprocated. (And this time, I wasn't trying to get her or anything - it just 'happened'.)

Well, this is a problem, since I actually enjoy being with her. I actually like talking to her. But the thought of a relationship with her literally makes me feel ill. She doesn't disgust me at all or anything, and when I'm with her I can't bring myself to 'back off' or take it down a level, but I hate it at the same time.

So... yeah. So far I haven't been able to bring myself to just stop it now before it gets serious, since I really enjoy being with her, but I hate it at the same time.

Any advice?

[ecojeanne]

heh, you found a girl who may indeed change your mind about girls - how is that bad thing? it's not. its a development thing. it wasn't necessarily bound to happen, but this girl is obviously special. go with the flow and enjoy!

you're hooked! haha

[Not_unusual]

The problem you have (and many before you, icludng myself) is that you've been hurt severely very early on. Because of this you find it hard t become close because youre afraid you wll get hurt again. The thing is, just because someone hurt you once it doesnt necceserally mena it's going to happen again. Maybe you can explain your past to this woman.

it's possible that you MAY get hurt agan, but at the end of the day, if you dont open your heart up and make it vulnrable then you may never find happness with another person and you can't live forever just screwing around - well, you could, but i doubt it would make you happy.

good luck.

[Gigabitch]

The fact that you got your heart broken does not give you license to act like a total asshole. Grow the **** up and go get some therapy.

[Dasein]

Ok you got cheated on. So have a few of the people on this forum. But you don't let this stop you. You can't let fear dominate your life in any area of it.

You need to get over your past. This woman sounds like she could be good for you.