AAAAAAaaargh! Does she like me or not?

[utopianhercules]

I have a funny feeling I know the answer, but I will ask anyway. Collective wisdom is any day better than mine.

There is this chick I like very much. I know her from where I work. I asked for the number - I got it. We got talking in person and all the Indicators of Interest are there

-- She maintains eye contact like 90 % of the time.
-- Body pointed towards me all the time.
-- I went Kino in a nice way sometimes.
-- I do show that I care, but I act distant and aloof sometimes.
-- and lots more.

I came off thinking she likes me.

I was the one who initiated the calling but kept it at the rate of one call per two days. I was the ONLY one calling for almost a month.

Slowly she reciprocated. It took a while for her, but she started calling back. That's good news I guess.


We have fun during our conversations and it is always kept light.

I haven't gifted her with anything just as yet.

We talk every 2 days on the phone for an hour or so and then we meet like once or twice in a week where I work.

She just came out with me once fr a very short time out -- 2 hrs.

The question is:

All of this is nice, but today I mada casual attempt to ask her out like " I am going out for a drive, I think it would be fun if you join me" -- she had a presentation to do, so she said she can't make it.This is the 3rd time in 2 months I asked and each time there seems to be an excuse. The first time, it was that she was sick ( she genuinely was); she has a presentation to complete or an assignment to do ( she never lies, by the way).

About 3 hrs ago before I posted here, she did call. I didn't pick the call then.

What's happening?

I thought of confident persistence; I thought of her genuine reasons for not coming out.

I am confused :

1. Is she playing hard to get?
2. Is she not Interested?
3. Is she cautious and wants to take her time?
4. Am I coming on too strong? ( which I am not).

Please help. Thanks for taking the time to read up.

[vashti]

What's your game, buddy? Do you want to date her or not? If you do, then call her and ask her on a date several days in advance, the way your mom probably told you to do. If she can't make it, ask her if another day is better for her, or if she simply isn't interested in dating you.

You are working so slowly, you are in grave danger of being banished to the friend zone.

[ecojeanne]

i'm with vash on this, it will be hard to get out of the friend zone.

i have thought that she hasn't actually made up her mind whether she wants to date you. also she may only see you as a friend and isn't interested. you are moving WAY to slow. it's time to find out. ask her out on a date and call it a date.

[utopianhercules]

i'm with vash on this, it will be hard to get out of the friend zone.

i have thought that she hasn't actually made up her mind whether she wants to date you. also she may only see you as a friend and isn't interested. you are moving WAY to slow. it's time to find out. ask her out on a date and call it a date.

Eco, If she hasn't made up her mind and I ask her out again, wouldn't be coming on too strong?

@ vash : I admit I should have asked her many more days in advance. I will try that. My game? Well, I want her and I doing all I can to get to her. So, I will ask her again and this time, much in advance-- probably next weekend? or the one after that?

[Cain]

IOI? Kino?

Be careful. Using PUA terminology on this board is likely to get you castrated by the women here.

[lastwish]

She probably already see through your game. What you should do now is just be genuine if you like her.

[Everlovin]

1. Is she playing hard to get?
2. Is she not Interested?
3. Is she cautious and wants to take her time?
4. Am I coming on too strong? ( which I am not).

1. No, she is playing hard to never get. She just seems like a genuinly nice girl (maybe asian) and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by shooting you down.

2. She is interested so far as she gets a little ego boost from your attention but she is not interested in you.

3. She could be that kind of girl in general but don't confuse the situation because thats not whats happening here.

4. Probably.

Don't let girls flip your top, the title of this thread makes it seem like your going crazy over her. Would a player do that?

[utopianhercules]

1. No, she is playing hard to never get. She just seems like a genuinly nice girl (maybe asian) and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by shooting you down.

2. She is interested so far as she gets a little ego boost from your attention but she is not interested in you.

3. She could be that kind of girl in general but don't confuse the situation because thats not whats happening here.

4. Probably.

Don't let girls flip your top, the title of this thread makes it seem like your going crazy over her. Would a player do that?

No, a player wouldn't do that. I agree.

Yes, she is Asian ( Indian). That brings me to a point I wanted to make.

Here in India, things are totally the other way. The culture is strikingly different. Women take years before they give their hearts away and fall in love.About 60-70% still go by arranged marriages.

Except the metros and big cities, everywhere else, dating isn't even a known concept.

Once hearts are given, rarely are they taken back. A life-long commitment it tends to become ( that explains all the cautiousness and resistance)

So, having heard from all of you here. Here's what I am doing now:

-- Going about my life as usual.

-- I keep talking to her on the phone and meet her when I go to work -- just once or twice a week for a few minutes.

-- I don't know if there is anything going on between us or not, but we do talk a lot over the phone and I am taking it one day at a time.

-- Oh yes, I do like her a lot although I won't let that get to me for now.

-- I'll continue to have fun.

Let's see where it goes.

Thanks a ton people.

Ash

[TheGreek]

You keep playing it slow like this and keep up the hour long talks, you are going to get "banished" to the friend zone just like Vashti said. You need to call her, talk to her for like 15-20 minutes tops. During that call, ask her out. If she says yeah, tell her you'll call her soon to confirm. Call her the day/night before y'all are to go out and finalize everything at that point. Once you're out on the date, then carry-on.