Not sure what to do... shuld i tell her?

[Not_unusual]

I was at work recently, and someone (who has been a friend of mine since i have started t ork there) started to go on about "queers"... now i know its not her fault, just the way she has been raised and all that, so i just did what i always do which is just leave the conversation... anyway later on she aske what the name was of the person i was dating... well i told her and cos girlfriends name could be either male or female she just assumed it was a guy - considerng the last person i dated WAS a guy...

anyway, as the weekhas gone on shes been refering to her as "him" and because i have never corrected her, i feel a little like i' lying...

considering the views of female/female relationships, do you think i should tell her that my "boyfriend" is in fact a girlfriend, or just allow her to continnue.

If i let her continnue i will get treated by he the way i always have done - which, is pretty good, regarded as a good work friend. however, if i come clean im a little scared of what t will do to our friendship...

what would you do??

[ecojeanne]

me personally, i would say nothing coz it's work. let her think whatever she wants, it's not like her opinion matters, but it does matter if she has issues with you and uses her feelings against you in work

i would say nothing and let her continue to make a fool of herself

[Not_unusual]

the only problem occurs when we go out - like we do bi-weekly...

but were not best friends or anything,

of course she COULD accept me - not likely -and it'll be fine.

theres also another girl who works at our place who is gay and wont come out at work - only a select few know about her. should i really be making a stand about it rather than sitting back and letting it happen?

[ecojeanne]

well you're not going to change the world in your little office, sure ye if you want to make a stand then do, it can be quite satisfying and fullfilling, i've done it many times in jobs i didn't care too much about. be prepared to feel uncomfortable if you plan on staying, if i liked my job enough then i would say nothing and laugh at that girl whenever she says somethin stupid.

EDIT: actually this does make me laugh, tbh i've never held back in something i believe in. i'm always there in the background waving my arms, so i guess that means i never really cared all that much about all the jobs i've had, yes i think this is true. i've had so many different confrontations in the past when i feel there has been an injustice. i was always the spokesperson for people in work haha. do whatever you feel is right. i just gave you the sensible advice above, but i'm not all that sensible when it comes down to it! i always want to fight the good fight, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, but don't forget that you can lose.

[Not_unusual]

its a dilemma, it really is... i guess part of it is because of the work we're in - we look after young people with mental health problems and i think... what if one of our clients was gay, they'd hardly come out if this is the opinion of the people who care for the on a day to day basis...

however, you're rght... ill never change the world

[Mish]

I don't think you need to say anything. Next time she brings him / her up just say you would appreciate if she didn't bring that person up in conversation because you're not comfortable with it and that's it.

[Not_unusual]

the problem is that atm wanna just bore everyone with stories of how we met and stuff lol. Its kike im biting my tonge when i wanna scream from the hilltops

[Aeradalia]

I really feel for you, but I've had to learn from past experiences that sometimes the awkwardness from those that really don't accept you can become a hindrance.

If I were you, I would try to imagine realistically how the workplace would change and how it would affect you if you were to come out. If there are too many negatives... then I wouldn't advise it.

Sometimes I feel like screaming it from the hilltops as well... but at other times I am very glad I am far more reserved. Right or wrong, fair or unfair... it has proven to be far more useful if sexual orientation doesn't cloud the issue when shallow minds are involved.

[Not_unusual]

I see yur point. I hate to say it but maybe i just need to hide inside the closet during work hour, but god it annoys me, especially when she calls and i have to pretend that shes just a friend