I don't know how to get over this...

[BodomsChild89]

Just recently me and my girlfried of 2 and a half years, who i love to death, just had a pretty bad downfall. We took a break, then decided to break up for a day, during that day, she kissed another guy, her manager at her job who happens to be twice her age (im 19, shes 17). We got back together, then she told me about this. I don't want to break up with her, but instead I would like some advice on how to cope with that. It kills me so bad knowing she did that. She says shes sorry and she regrets it..but the fact it happened tears me apart. Any help?
Thanks a lot

[Male Man]

Simply put, she broke your trust and now has to mend it. Hopefully she is willing do what is necessary to assuage your understandable mis-trust of her. Coping with a trust issue is difficult at best. She has thrown this 'monkey wrench' into the relationship and now YOU have to deal with it. Take some time, gather your thoughts, then sit her down and tell her what she needs to do on a daily basis to regain your trust...Mind you, this could be take years.

[Romeo200818]

okay if its going to take years its not worth it. yes she broke your trust but having a relationship where you cant forgive and forget something she did while she was without you isnt going to work well. tell her it upset you, and decide for yourself if you can deal with it. Sounds like a little capitalizing on the vulnerability from the manager who (depending on the state you live in) seems like a perv to me. she was probly just vulnerable and hurt from the break up, if she wants to be with you she will

[BodomsChild89]

Romeo, you are right in some ways. She did do it because she was hurt during our breakup. I know she won't do something like that again, but we've been happily together for 2 and a half years, then she did that in 1 day. That makes me feel like our 2.5yrs together meant nothing, I felt lower than sh*t when she told me she did that. I have talked to her about it, I told her I'd try to look past it, but its not something small. I do want to be with her, but this hurt me more than anything she's ever done before.

[Romeo200818]

bodoms, you have to realize that women do crazy things sometimes. You have to understand that shes with you and if she wants to be wtih you and only you, she will. my girlfriend and i broke up and she went out and had sex with a few guys. and i did wiht girls. we were both really hurt and had to feel like we belonged. cuz when two people are together for so long and break apart (even for a day) theres just something missing and if we find ourselves in the right situation to fill it, then we do crazy things. it sucks i know, but surely you can look past a kiss. good luck, and if you do get over it forgive and FORGET. never bring it up in the head of an argument as a defense it will be a big mistake.

[BodomsChild89]

I wouldn't think it is such a big deal if we were broken up for maybe..a month or so..but the SAME DAY we broke up she did that. That's what kills me.

[Romeo200818]

well why did you break up and why did you get back together?

[IndiReloaded]

17 = young and stupid. She was probably just experimenting & likely emotionally confused.

Anyway, you were broke up. One day or one year, doesn't really matter. You can't say much. At least it was just a kiss.

[BodomsChild89]

We broke up because I guess I didn't treat her like I should have. I didn't think I was treating her badly, but I didn't always remind her how much she means to me, and just..all the little sweet talk girls like. I used to give her that all the time, but I just got a little sick of it so I stopped for the most part. She eventually felt I didn't care for her as much as I used to and thought I didn't want anything more, no matter how much I told her I DO love her. We got back together because I went to see her, I was crying about it all, I told her I'm sorry and I WILL stop being a jerk to her. AFTER we officially got back together is when she told me about the kiss (because I asked her if she did anything, I knew about the other guy a little, but not much).

And yes, she's only 17, but she's not stupid. And I personally believe, in most cases, a kiss is more meaningful than sex. When people go out and have sex with whoever, they do it to physically feel good, but a kiss is meaningful. No one kisses someone else..just because..you do if for emotional feeling.

[IndiReloaded]

And yes, she's only 17, but she's not stupid. And I personally believe, in most cases, a kiss is more meaningful than sex. When people go out and have sex with whoever, they do it to physically feel good, but a kiss is meaningful. No one kisses someone else..just because..you do if for emotional feeling.

17 means she lacks foresight and understanding of her actions.

Anyway, you think that kissing is more meaningful than sex. So I guess you are dealing with a girl who had more than sex the day after you broke up.

[BodomsChild89]

That's my point. Knowing she kissed another guy hurt me so much. I AM willing to work on looking past that, but I don't know how...reason why I started this topic in the first place.

[IndiReloaded]

Can't help you kiddo. I told you how I see it, and its just not that big of a deal.

[BodomsChild89]

No, you did help. I consider any advice, even if it's not what I want to hear, to be helpful. I am keeping in mind what you told me, and I do thank you for being involved.