questions ..

[Don]

guys and girls, do you wait for some time to get to know him/her well before having relationships or you go by express route meaning four dates and you both are together ?

[podhead]

Relationships that have lasted for long periods were built on friendships, but quick flings never got past the second date before sex and never past 3 months for breakup.

Long periods to get to know someone lets the romance build, but can also create a lot of frustration. See my own thread below, i took 5 months to get to know someone and now I can't stop thinking about how to get her to be with me.

[Love_Cakes]

If you get to know a person really well and build a friendship, the other person might just want to keep it at that. I dunno, I think I saw it in a movie once.

Let your "crush" know what your after or just let fate take its route.

[SecretDontTell]

That's the chump's way to get rejected. If you hang around to long the girl you are after is going to shower you with her "problems" and if you actually try to help her, you are considered her "girlfriend" You would officially be her bitch.

Take the express route to getting laid. Ask her out on a date and get to know her. After the first date(icebreaker) ask her along for more ACTION dates like golf or bowling. YOU WILL NEVER GET ANYWHERE IN THE CINEMA'S.

BTW, never ever reveal yourself to her until like the 6-7th get together. Life is a mystery so live it that way.

If you need anything email me

[jslaughter]

In my book you are just "dating" (As in still free to see other people) until you have a talk that signifies that you are both not interested in seeing other people. So the amount of dates is not what matters - it is that you both agree that you are on the same page.

[GBRaul]

I agree with secretdonttell and jslaughter. Usually if you become a friend to a girl it's something called a "friend trap" and you can't get out of it. And when you finally pour out to her "i really love you" or whatever you want to say, you are in for some deep shit cos she might not even want to see you for the rest of her life. And when you see her going out with other guys you would feel like crap. The key is to get her ATTRACTED to you, not treat you like "her bitch". Therefore, I do not believe in taking too long to get to know her. That would also help you not sink so deep that you cannot pull yourself back out.

[Don]

OK, I understand most of the point you people make. BUT, without knowing her really well, how can I be sure that she is the ONE for me ?? I mean few dates is not enough to know the REAL her. YES, not all women fake but I bet there are. Do you ever notice that they treat you so good during first few dates but as it went on, she changed ??? This is what I do not want in relationship.

[GBRaul]

If it changed and you know the changed form is her real form, dump her and run like you are being chased by a stampede. Look at it this way. This is to make sure you haven't sunk that deep yet.

But then again, some people prefer the get to know each other way. Seriously, to each his own. It's not all bad - it might just work out! I'm not saying it NEVER works out, sometimes getting to know each other first can lead to the most lasting relationships, but like I said before it might cause you to sink too deep and you end up bashing your head against the wall and crying your heart out when she rejects you and says "let's just be friends" or one of those stupidly cheesy lines. Notice that if you just use a few dates and get dumped after that (or something along that line) you don't face the same problem.

But if you really want to use the get to know each other method, I suggest you make sure that you don't only do "friends" stuff together. Do stuff that people who are in a BGR would do sometimes. Don't just stay at the friends level or chances are... yeah... you'd STAY there and become "her bitch". (man I like that expression... how well put by SecretDontTell) Oh yes and don't respond to her every whim. You'd come off as a desperate chump.

[Love_Cakes]

Get her to go to more serious dates then. I think someone said you wont get anywhere going to a movie, so i'd say try something new. I dont know what that thing would be because i dont know what you got on your hands. But of course she might not be "the one". There is millions of women who could date you...
And in my opionon "the one" stands out like a white man at a snoop dogg concert. You'll know if she is "the one" or not. If you question it, she probably isnt. =/
Again... just my opionon.

[GBRaul]

I think that "the one" doesn't ALWAYS stand out. Most of the time yes, but not all the time. Sometimes love can come out of the wierdest placest. Just ask CR's Baby Girl!

[Don]

GBRaul. Yes, I agree that it can lead to 'just friends' but I'm not going for that and don't want to because that would be a WASTE of my time. We did hang out together such as bowling, movies, dining .. etc. I know that if I asked, she would be my gf, but I want to build our friendship before going next stage..

[GBRaul]

If you asked she would be your gf? Then whatever you do now as long as it's not cheating on her, etc. doesn't really matter right? Just go whichever way suits you.

And of course you aren't going for just friends! I am not saying that you are... in fact I am saying you should not! Or did I misunderstand your post?