miss my bestfriend

[springhead]

Hi People
Heres my story, I found my true love, soulmate and bestfriend, but I messed it up with her and I have been trying to get her back for sometime now with no luck.
We have been with each other for 4 years and wanted to get married and spend the rest or our lifes together,
Heres the reason, I was married and had left my wife a number of times and had gone back home to her and my kids also a number of times, I realized why I kept going back there was because of my children, Now that my children are all adults and I will be officially divorced in 8 days I am heart broken because I messed up the best thing I ever had in this world, I hurt her a few months ago and went back to my kids again and now she doesnt want anything to do with me.
This wasnt the first time I did this as I mentioned before, but she had let me back with her before. I know now that I had hurt her and I had been wrong for what I did to her. I really do love and care about her but I think im out of luck this time.
Dont be to harsh on me people I was confused at the time and now that I am not I was looking for advice
Thank for reading this
David

[1averagejoe]

This wasnt the first time I did this as I mentioned before, but she had let me back with her before. I know now that I had hurt her and I had been wrong for what I did to her.

This is the mentality of people that cheat, and will cheat on their significant other. You got away with it before, she took you back. You think, hey, she took me back before...she'll do it again. Then when she doesn't you cry about it. And you know what's going to happen if she takes you back? At first you'll say you won't do it again but you'll end up doing it again. Why? Because she proved to you that you can get away with it and she'll come back to you.

So what did you do to her?

[carl1222]

I'll be slightly gentler than Joe although I totally agree with him.

Get divorced and don't jerk this girl around until you do.

She deserves a relationship with a single man. You want to prove your intentions? Show her the court-filed divorce complaint.

She should settle for nothing less from you.

Carl.

[snoz]

Yep, what's gone is gone. You've done it more than once, no matter how hard you try now the trust is just gone, take it from someone who's been on the receiving end. Even if we muster everything up to trust someone like you, you could be a good person but the hurt is there.

My advice is just to stay good to the kids, move on maybe one day you'll forgive yourself.

[springhead]

Thank for advice, I do plan on showing her the divorce papers. It has been over between us and she has moved on but it still hurts me because I hurt her and didnt realize it till it was too late, I have changed and I am done with my previous life Dec 15th and still care and love her so I have advice to everyone because I learned from my mistake,
"Do not take anyone for granted because you will be in the same boat I am in"

Thank David

[IndiReloaded]

I think all married ppl should have a hard look at their relationship once the kids are grown up.

It hard to balance personal needs with family. The only thing I would say to you is that you had no business with this woman while you were committed to your family. That you lacked the will for this may ultimately cost you both your marriage and your relationship.

If I were in your situation, I would have made the commitment to my family. I would have explained to my lover my decision and encouraged them to live their life.

If I still felt the same once my duty to my family was complete (aka kids grown & independent, spouse in a position to be likewise), then I would have gotten a divorce. For my own reasons, not to jump directly into another relationship.

Only then, once I was legitimately free would I attempt to reconnect with my old flame. And, if they had moved on, well such is life & choices.

You've been sitting on the fence and committing to noone. Selfish, you are, young Skywalker.

[carl1222]

Thank for advice, I do plan on showing her the divorce papers. It has been over between us and she has moved on but it still hurts me because I hurt her and didnt realize it till it was too late, I have changed and I am done with my previous life Dec 15th and still care and love her so I have advice to everyone because I learned from my mistake,
"Do not take anyone for granted because you will be in the same boat I am in"

Thank David

Whoe, David ... wait ... she's moved on? If she has a new boyfriend, you have absolutely no right to intrude on her new relationship. NONE.

Shame on you!

Carl.