Originally Posted by
4u2nv
...a few months in we began discussing relationships it was at that time he shared that he was at the time "dating" a female he had met in Oct they were not official but it was obvious he wanted her in his life...
This was your cue to leave... he obviously doesn't want you in the same way you want him.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
..at the same time he wanted me in his life as well...
He doesn't love you... so what does it matter if he wants you in his life?
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
...I have been with this man for almost a year...
A year with a man who is bringing you along for the ride, and that's not fair and terribly unkind.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
..our friendship is wonderful yet I know part of why he keeps me around is out of his own selfishness...
Yes, he is selfish... a quality not found in a loving relationship.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
If and when the time comes for her to move in with him then I wonder where that will leave me????
On the back burner... as merely a dog waiting for him to give you the scraps from his table of affections.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
I cant get his feelings outside of me knowing he cares for me out of him and it is so frustrating...
Whether or not you can remove the feeling... you don't have to act on it. You know he doesn't really care, so you can act like he doesn't care... in spite of your feelings.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
I am sick inside over this and yes its so easy to hear u got to let go...u got to move on before he really hurts u..u got to find someone else????
Easy to hear... harder to actually put into play. But sometimes we have to do things we won't like so that we can better ourselves in the long run.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS???
I have a feeling that you do... it's not that you don't know how.. it's because you don't 'want' to.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
I am a very smart woman but feel so stuck and lost....
Then do the smart thing... leave him and move on. Don't be a mere toy for anybody... have more self-respect than that.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
It is so easy to hear people say that I deserve better...I know I do....or to hear he is just gonna say **** u when she does move in....that would really kill me inside.....there are so many what if's..
So who cares? You're not part of the 'big picture'... and nothing you can ever do will change that. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. In this you have lost. Get up, dust yourself off, and move on. To stay and dwell on the pain while you're down is pointless and not helpful in any way.
Originally Posted by
4u2nv
.Any adivce or help would be appreciated.
Advice can be offered with no guarantee that it will offer comfort, change your feelings, or that you'll even like it. All advice can do is tell you what other people (who are not emotionally involved as you are) observe.
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen