meeting my ex for the 1st time in 2 years

[horseplaypen]

I'll try to make this short. My ex and I broke up over two years ago, and after a while became sort of friends again. We don't hang out together, but we exchange emails every few months or so. We are both dating other people. In two weeks I will see him again for the first time since we broke up at the birthday party of a close mutual friend. His girlfriend will be there - my boyfriend won't. To complicate matters, I still have residual feelings for my ex - I would never date him again, but I think I will find it emotionally trying to see him with his girlfriend without having my boyfriend there.

Do you have anything that I can do to bolster my confidence for this meeting with his new girlfriend? I can't skip the party for fear of hurting my friend's feelings, and I can't ask her to uninvite my ex. I'm going to try to be mature at this party, but my self-esteem is nose-diving.

Thank you!

[Illusional]

first off, i think that you should go and see your ex because the bond as friends that you have obtained seems to be strong. secondly, you still feel for your ex..that is a quite common issue. everyone leaves a peice of them with each passing relationship and there will always be a place where he will have inside of your heart.

as for the confidence part... hrmm.. i would just say that you will have to remain fairly calm. keep in mind that you also have a bf, and that both of you have moved on from the past of your life. meet his gf and try to engage her too. when i meet my ex's bfs.. it's not really a big thing because i'm glad that they are happy together. raverboy

[sweet200]

well sounds like me somewhat only in my case he never even got a boyfriend. Anyhow this is about you. I dont understand why you're meeting him with his girl unless he feel that 'unsafe' around you. Why do you guys need all these buffers? But I say go right ahead and see him plus it seems you'll have a severe case of the butterflies. I think you still like him- happens lots with exs

[Little one]

I don't think you should meet him. If you still have feelings for him. Why place yourself in an emotional rollercoster. I would keep the friendship to e-mails and calls.

I think the girlfriend will not be comfrontable with you around and all this leads to problems. I also quesiton why your boyfriend is not around for the meeting.

Again, not a good idea.

[Illusional]

she has feelings for him little one, but she has moved on. she is in another relationship already. raverboy

[horseplaypen]

I know - I wish I didn't have to go but my ex and I were both invited to a mutual friend's birthday party who I am very close to. I live in Montreal now, and I'm going back to Vancouver on vacation where everyone lives, and my current bf is staying here in Mtl. I can't really ditch my best friend on her birthday just because she's also good friends with my ex and invited him too. I know I don't have much choice, and yeah I guess I kind of still feel for to my ex, we dated for a long time and like I said, I would never date him again but it still will feel weird to see him with someone new.

Thanks for your advice guys, I'll just have to keep my chin up and party hard. Maybe some cranberry and vodkas at the club we're going to will help.

[sweet200]

ah not to worry im sure you'll do just fine. Im curious though why you're so adamant about never dating him again. This is besides the point I know but as the cliche goes- never say never. As for the club- the cranberry and vodka can either work for u or against u. Update us how it goes.

[PandaCivic]

don't do it unless you know for sure what the intentions are. it will cause so many feelings to get ****ed up.

[Illusional]

well both of you have moved on so i don't think that this will be a big problem. raverboy