Originally Posted by
Jazzersize
i've been seeing "cynthia" for a year. everything has been pretty good. however i have a big problem now.
three months ago cynthia was raped. i have waited patiently and i tried to help her. since then she will not have sex with me tho. how long do i need to wait until she gets over this??? i tried to get her to sleep with me last weekend but she broke down and cried. now its new years and i have nobody for tonight. this really sucks. i cant wait forever.
Women are very, very emotional creatures and what has happened to her is something so bad that it can and will cause post traumatic stress disorder with the same intensity as the PTSD that soldiers have. Rape is so bad that if men endure it... it messes with their heads for years and years too. That's the magnitude of the situation. So three months might as well have been 3 minutes ago to her.
Whoever raped her... basically demonstrated through the act that she is weak, men are strong, and at any given moment a man can simply take away her freedom, her self-respect, her happiness, and her life. She had to endure the horrible realization that even though she may not have wanted him mentally... her body doesn't care and reacted accordingly. Her mind refused but her body welcomed it and she can barely handle the guilt.
Her spirit has been broken and her eyes opened to one of the greatest atrocities of life... even the strongest of people cannot handle this for long... and someone as gentle and caring as the typical woman will be crushed... even risk losing their minds if they don't seek out help.
I can understand that you want a normal relationship and maybe she didn't mean a whole lot to you... but as one decent human being to another... at least help her through the initial phase. Get her to a counselor or therapist quick. After a few weeks... you could safely move on without that messing with her head too much --- get her family involved to help her with the burden.
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen