I do know that a large majority of wifes and girlfriends of the soldiers end up leaving or cheating on them because they're gone for so long. 6 months isn't bad. But imagine 2 years without them. I know I would have a lot of trouble.
I do know that a large majority of wifes and girlfriends of the soldiers end up leaving or cheating on them because they're gone for so long. 6 months isn't bad. But imagine 2 years without them. I know I would have a lot of trouble.
I'd like to be able to say 'Not this one,' but that wouldn't be an honest answer. What I can say though, is that he deserves the best of me and he will have it. I can only hope that the best part of me is not so flawed and lacking in integrity that it would be viewed as an inferior gift to be given.
Over the next few months I will offer words of encouragment and uphold my fidelity to him so he will not have to worry. And if this is not enough... then I will do more, until it is. I do not believe in the 'one' or fate, so this makes the odds of finding someone like him incredibly low and his value incredibly high to me. I cannot risk losing him... I may never find someone like him again - someone who loves me and works so well with the oddity that is me.
He brings the rarest and most valuable thing into my life... happiness... and he asks for so little in return.
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
Don't even think for one second that only the women end up cheating. You have no idea what goes on when soldiers are deployed. When my unit was deployed to Iraq, cheating was so prevalent that I'm willing to bet that the soldiers cheated more than the spouses that stayed at home.
I don't chase, I replace.
Call me crazy, but I think it will be good for you to have him gone for a period of time. I don't say that in a cruel or cynical way either, I mean it in a good way.
With him being gone you will truly be able to delve into your feelings for him and get a rock solid idea of what this man means to you. You think you know what he means to you now, and you may very well be spot on, but having a separation will solidify this one way or another.
I can't speak for his character because I know nothing about him, but you are sane enough and a genuinely good person from every post I have seen of yours which makes me believe this guy is in just as deep and right by your side with everything.
I know if I was in this position the most important thing to me would be to know that my girlfriend was set on me and that I didn't have to worry about the relationship while I was away. You covered that base and I guarantee you that will make everything ten fold easier for him.
Like everyone said, you seem to have found what is probably a life long match for yourself. You analyze him and can't find any flaw worth mentioning no matter how hard you look. There are a lot of people out there that have a reaction like yours that I know....you have something so good that it kind of scares you in a way. Theres nothing wrong with it, its human nature to be suspicious of the "too good to be true" things.
You just need to come to grips with yourself that this guy is the one or that hes not. You will find your answer but your the only one who will know and the answer is inside of you. Take time to enjoy your next week with him and know that hes only going to be gone temporarily.
Make sure you find yourself some hobbies or something while he is away to busy yourself. It will not only make you feel more at ease, but also you will get personal gain from it
Hang tight Aeradalia, you draw your own fate in the world and we will all still be here
"What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power.
You fear your own anger, the drive to do great and terrible things."
The Warmonger
All that testosterone. Not to mention the stress. I might be inclined to forgive my spouse for cheating depending on the circumstances.
Not condoning it, just saying (never having served) that I can imagine one gets a different perspective when you're worried about you & your mates dying anytime.
Come to think, Dalia, you might want to both get tested when he gets back. Just to be safe, you know? I know there are those who will freak, scream "trust", etc, but it goes both ways. And there is nothing wrong with being practical.
He doesn't ask for these things from me... all he's ever asked directly is for me to be happy. I just feel like he deserves so much more... and I want to give him those things... if I can. His happiness means a lot to me, and I have not forgotten myself in the midst of all this. It is because he brings me happiness that I wish to keep him happy.
I agree and I'm trying not to rush anything... let it occur in its own time. At the same time, I'm trying to make sure that what I feel is genuine and not infatuation... or something else.
We've discussed the possibility of infidelity while he is away... and though he calmly assures me that I needn't worry... I can tell that he is hurt that I would think of him doing that even in a hypothetical way. Though I'll ask him when I get the chance... I doubt he would be opposed to the idea of both of us getting tested.
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
Good. Welcome to the concept of "trust, but verify".