If, for whatever reason, two members of the same sex are drawn together I believe it is for the same underlying goal. They may be incapable of reproducing, sure, but the hormones that drew them are blind to that. Or perhaps nature is clever and intends for homosexual relationships from the get-go. A small stop-gap in an effort to stem population growth.
The basic root of love is the same in human beings. The ideal, the romanticized notion, and the gravity that it is afforded differs from culture to culture.
Most of the relationships you have been in were meant to be finite. You're weeding your way through potential mates until you find the right one. During that process you were probably not in a position to think about children. Ultimately, though, when you decide to get married and commit for life what's the point if not to provide a stable environment for your offspring?
If love is your answer I think most anyone who has been married ten years or more can assure you that those feelings will decay. If you want love in your life you must be in a position to move on and start something fresh and new.
Last edited by Gribble; 08-01-09 at 12:42 AM.
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
-Mark Twain
If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein
Hehe, here is an article that actually supports some of that [url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7815095.stm[/url]
Though honestly I have big doubts about effectiveness if this process is going to be artificially manipulated like described in that article. The way I see it we have developed these chemicals / responses for legitimate reasons. For example, you stick your hand in the fire and immediately your reflex will withdraw it so you don't get burned. Supposedly we can manipulate that and disable the natural reflex, what will be the outcome? A hand reduced to ashes.
Like wise, I believe these chemicals operate in a very complex structural fashion that are there for the benefit of the individual. The chemicals (oxytocins) that bind one person to another person are ussually released when certain beneficial conditions are met. These beneficial conditions are usually instinctual, internal or even subconscious recognitions of compatibility of the possible mate. If these are going to be artificially manipulated like described in the above article then a whole range of negative after effects can occur as a result. It's very possible that a reflex will be disabled that prevents a hand from being burnt. As in instinctual drive bypassed to setup individuals with incompatible matches.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
Grib, if you think romantic love is all there is to a good partnership, I feel really sorry for you. It's not mystical and it IS hard to achieve in our Me First society, but they do exist. I'm surprised at your cynicism.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Even if prostitutes don't plan on cumming when they have sex with their clients, they are still people and if the conditions are right they will
I know. You're supposed to work hard, make sacrifices, do this, do that.
That's what you do in school. You get a broadened mind and opportunities for your trouble. You move on to a career. More of the same. You get money and security.
What do you get out of a relationship?
I believe humans are selfish by nature. I'm not ashamed to admit that on some level just about everything I do I do for the sake of receiving a reward. Donations, gifts, courageous acts, etc., all done, at least partly, for selfish reasons. What do I get out of a relationship?
I can get sex without one. I can get romance with brief ones. In either case I can experience the joy of giving. I can't think of anything unique that long term commitment brings to the table. I can think of a slew of crap it brings, naturally, but (ignoring anything related to child-rearing) I don't see what a relationship has to offer that I can't find elsewhere and at less cost.
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
-Mark Twain
If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein
Allegedly the same. You broaden your mind, develop good communication skills and get experience of solving complicated problems that you can use in other areas of your life. Various chances of self reflection and chances of becoming a better person because of it (though doesn't always happen that way)
I think a good long term relationship offers a unique opportunity that nothing else out there can offer which is for another person to get to know you even better than you know yourself through extended focus on 3rd person perspective and cast reflective feedback on areas of improvement that you may not be aware of yourself. That's ofcourse in the best case scenario, there are chances it can go the other way as well.
Personally I admit that various relationships I've been through helped me get a better idea and understanding of myself and what I'm capable of. It opened up my eyes to certain negative aspects of my personality and certain positive ones that I wasn't even aware of. Even though they ended, they allowed me a unique opportunity for growth.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
That and someone gets closer to you than anyone else ever has, and (hopefully) turns out to be the best friend you'll ever have. < That's kind of rare, though... in what Indi calls this me first society.
I guess that's kinda what I appreciate most from my relationship. I mean, I could fart in front of her and she'd laugh! It doesn't get better than that... nosirree. Someone who would enjoy smelling your flatulence with you.... *sigh*
Last edited by doppelgaenger; 08-01-09 at 12:12 PM.
Someone who is just as committed your your growth and development as you are. Someone who will act as a mirror and show you who you really are. Someone you trust enough to give them your 'buttons' and teach you how to deal with those issues. Someone intelligent to talk to, someone who will argue with you and make you see something differently, someone who will push you to the limits they know you can achieve, someone who will be there when noone else will be, someone who actually, truly gives a shit and is on your side no matter what (within reason). Someone who will give you the straight goods when noone else will. Someone who makes you laugh, cry and FEEL things. Someone to sit on a porch with when you are old. Someone who will miss you when you are gone. Someone you will miss when they are gone & give you memories to cherish.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
For me, its the feeling of wanting to stay with a person and just him and no one else. Faith in the relationship and in him is what defines love for me. And I want to stay with him because I am in love with him as a person, not solely for money, looks, and other external pressures.
I can't either.
and all the philosophical ideas are phony, how about some really need for someone else? I want a damn good logical reason why I should stay with someone and it better not be taxes cause I make enough for those myself.
Hell no, who told you this crap? I am not working at a relationship, you crazy? the point of one is fun and entertainment. This is natural entertainment for us thanks to evolution and in the process to breed, and it is better than any movie...and people with their.."commitment and responsibilities bah blah blah blah!!!!!" ****ing kill the movie!
Last edited by Only-virgins; 09-01-09 at 01:01 PM.
"Why are you an atheist?"
"because I paid attention in science class."
That feeling makes my skin crawl. I want the butterflies, I want the big black eyes. I want the breathless feeling and short burst of adrenaline. I want the perfection that it seems to be. I want the temporary eternity. Cause I rather have a relationship for one month that gives me this high than a relationship forever that is this "successful" relationship" that people speak of. I live in the moment, for I know my life is nothing but a moment itself.
Last edited by Only-virgins; 09-01-09 at 01:02 PM.
"Why are you an atheist?"
"because I paid attention in science class."