Dating and disclosure

[Aeradalia]

I tend to focus on one thing at a time (possibly odd for a female... and maybe even more unheard of regarding the bisexual stereotypes) and this includes dating. I'll date one person... get to know them well enough to decide if we're compatible.. If not, then I cut them loose and go to the next person.

Not sure if this is the better way or not... but it's how I am more naturally inclined.

[lesa]

I think it's on a "need to know" basis. If you're asked then you should disclose it (not a big deal anyway). Saying it out of the blue may sound like you are blowing the guy off.


Personally in the past, I liked to wrap things up by third or fourth date and usually these questions don't tend to crop up until that time anyway. For me there was no reason to keep going out with someone for longer than 3 or 4 dates and still be undecided.

After a few dates, a person usually can determine if they are compatible or not. After about 3 or 4 dates as Mishanya mentioned, it's time to determine the "motives" for romantic dating. People are going to do a lot of assumptions, unfortunately, after that time and the potential for a relationship may be ruined.

[lesa]

The comic I wanted was out of print (it's called "Marshall Law") and I can't remember the name of the one he bought. I probably got geek points because the store clerk seemed really impressed that I even knew about the one that was out of print.

And since that Simpsons visual is so appealling, let's just call him "Y", since his name begins with a Y. He couldn't look further from that guy from the Simpsons (although he does have long hair). He's also from London and has one of the most gorgeous accents I've ever heard.

Ooooo, that sounds like a fun date. Hope you enjoyed yourself. Do you have another date setup with this guy yet?

[Mish]

After a few dates, a person usually can determine if they are compatible or not. After about 3 or 4 dates as Mishanya mentioned, it's time to determine the "motives" for romantic dating. People are going to do a lot of assumptions, unfortunately, after that time and the potential for a relationship may be ruined.

I was going to say, I would go with a kiss and if that works invite her to my place for more compatibility testing, but putting it this way works for me as well

[starbuck]

Ooooo, that sounds like a fun date. Hope you enjoyed yourself. Do you have another date setup with this guy yet?

The funniest thing about today's date was the awkward kiss at the end right before I was about to catch the subway home. When he kissed me, I could tell he wanted to linger a bit more, but I sort of pulled away awkwardly, because he's cute and all, but I don't know him that well yet.

I was worried that he would take it badly, so when I got home I immediately sent him an email thanking him for lunch and letting him know I had a really nice time.

This guy is definitely worth going out with again. And we have a date set for a Wednesday night movie.

[vashti]

How do you feel about asking him if you can take his photo to post at LF? I wanna see him!

[starbuck]

How do you feel about asking him if you can take his photo to post at LF? I wanna see him!

LOL! I'm not sure I'm ready to admit that I post on a love advice forum to him. Especially since the next thing he would do would probably try to find the forum as well as my posts. Although I'm sure if we got serious, I'd clue him into my double life here.

How about this? If it progresses well, I'll post a photo of him.

And if he breaks my heart, I'll post a photo with much evil photoshopping.

[Lite]

Unless there's some sort of beginnings of an actual relationship, I'm pretty sure that it's openly defined as dating multiple people. Typically when you meet someone who clicks so instantly that you're wanting to exclusively see them either you're psycho or it's a mutual psychotic feeling about wanting the other around.

I think about 4 dates in you know if you're going to want a relationship w/ that person, and whether you need to disclose to the others that your heart is leaning one way or the other. I don't mean that you're head over heels in love, but that you're at least starting to develop a comfort level with one person above the others.

[lesa]

WOW!!! That's great. He sounds like a wonderful guy. What's the next date like?

[starbuck]

Well he doesn't have three kids with three different mommas, a bad drug habit, or no job, so yeah...he's already got one up on the last batch of guys I was talking to and/or involved with.

2008 was the Year of Loser for me

And Lesa, we're going to the movies after work. Not sure what we're going to see yet.

[lesa]

That's great! He sounds good to me. Have fun!

[starbuck]

So, for anyone who is following my story, Date #2 with Y (dinner and a movie) went really well. I have to say, I am liking him more and more. He's very intelligent and interesting, and that wry British humor that I love.

He also planted a SUPER unexpected kiss on me when we were both buying our tickets for the movies. It was almost like a kiss attack. I actually gave him points for it though for being so ballsy because it could have gone the wrong way for him with a different girl. Then during the movie, he took my hand and every now and then, he'd stroke my arm very gently. Made it hard to concentrate...the guy's got moves lol.

I feel he might want to move a little faster than I want to though. My gut is telling me to move reeeeally slowly for some reason. I feel like in a couple of weeks, I'll probably want to jump his bones, but we're still almost strangers.

So that's my story. So far so good. Date #3 isn't planned yet, but it's sure to come.

[Mish]

I feel he might want to move a little faster than I want to though. My gut is telling me to move reeeeally slowly for some reason. I feel like in a couple of weeks, I'll probably want to jump his bones, but we're still almost strangers.

Sounds like a possibility

Well, must feel really good to get those first excited chills. I hope it turns out great for you Starbie!