So confused

[depressed_one]

I have no idea how I'll actually come off after posting this but hopefully I wont be conveyed in a negative light.

An ex and I had a relationship for about 2 years. In these 2 years she was the absolute love of my life. Even though I had major trust issues. During the period of our relationship I was "the big man" on campus I'd say. I was 17 and was considered one of the smartest and best athletes in the school that I attended.

My senior year rolls around and my team sputters. And soon thereafter my girlfriend at the time leaves me for a girl. I did everything that I possibly could for her and I loved her more than life itself. During the time that she was in a relationship with this girl she would constantly call me with her problems and concerns and I always let her know my thoughts on her matters. I typically wasn't upset and I tried to help her out the best that I could. I still loved her, so I wanted to do anything in my power to keep her with happy or get her to come back.

Well during this period I lost all of my friends and was left alone and by myself. And it hurt. BAD. It was the type of pain that could make a 6'2" 250 pound person who was used to enduring pain cry like a baby every single day. And, it caused me to fall into a very deep depression that I still haven't recovered from.

Its now 3 years later and I still love her deep down inside. I don't convey it to her at all. Its bad enough that whenever I see her, i physically feel sick and I feel pain. It still hurts. BADLY. There are far too many things that remind me of her. So forgetting about her and cutting off contact is pretty much out of the question. Because there is no possible way for it to happen.


What am I supposed to do?

And am I wrong for feeling the way that I do?

[depressed_one]

And to add onto things. I'm now 20(turning 21 soon) and I havent really had anyone since her. Ive had sex with other people but that did nothing. So i stopped having sex completely. I'm now going on 2 yrs.

Aren't these supposed to be the years that are remembered and cherished. If you only get one chance in life to be young and have fun; Why am I so miserable?

[swargolet]

I'm not one to be talking about cutting off contact since I myself am not the best at it, but why is it impossible to cut off contact? Really cutting contact is the only thing that will work it looks like. Look at yourself, when you are with her you are probably happy but once you are not with her you become sad and depressed because it hits you again and again that she really isnt there anymore. I'm sorry to hear that it has been 3 years and it is still hard. It JUST clicked for me in my break-up that contact is bad and now that is the main thing I'm trying to avoid since overall I'm more happy on my own.

From the sounds of it you hold this girl at too high of a level. I'm guessing you lost your friends because instead of hanging out with them you hung out with her and when you guys broke up you still hung out with her. I have a friend like this, well he isnt really a friend anymore since none of us ever see him because all he is trying to do is win back his ex and spending time with her.

Yes these are supposed to be some of the most fun years in your life but having fun isn't just going out with girls. I think you need to open up more to guys and find a nice group of guys you could be friends with. Not only will you have fun, you will also start to forget about this girl and focus more on your life.

Also are you doing things to remind yourself of her such as listening to songs that you 2 shared, or staring at pictures of her? If you are then STOP! first thing I did during my breakup is remove all pictures of her from sight and stopped listening to our song. Also try to not listen to depressing songs listen to more upbeat songs.

[Lite]

And to add onto things. I'm now 20(turning 21 soon) and I havent really had anyone since her. Ive had sex with other people but that did nothing. So i stopped having sex completely. I'm now going on 2 yrs.

Aren't these supposed to be the years that are remembered and cherished. If you only get one chance in life to be young and have fun; Why am I so miserable?

Because you obviously have emotional issues, problems with moving on, and likely need therapy? Just a thought. Go find someone to talk to, even if it's just a priest at a local church.

[Lite]

Oh, and stop putting her pussy on a pedestal please.

[Cain]

Don't say that cutting off contact is impossible. It's likely your only way to move on and the only reason you can't cut off contact is because your mind is weak.

I'm telling you this from experience. Don't wait and wait and wait to cut it off. Cut it off now. It'll hurt for a bit but eventually you'll be over it and you'll be so much better.

[carl1222]

I have no idea how I'll actually come off after posting this but hopefully I wont be conveyed in a negative light.

An ex and I had a relationship for about 2 years. In these 2 years she was the absolute love of my life. Even though I had major trust issues. During the period of our relationship I was "the big man" on campus I'd say. I was 17 and was considered one of the smartest and best athletes in the school that I attended.

My senior year rolls around and my team sputters. And soon thereafter my girlfriend at the time leaves me for a girl. I did everything that I possibly could for her and I loved her more than life itself. During the time that she was in a relationship with this girl she would constantly call me with her problems and concerns and I always let her know my thoughts on her matters. I typically wasn't
upset and I tried to help her out the best that I could. I still loved her, so I wanted to do anything in my power to keep her with happy or get her to come back.

Well during this period I lost all of my friends and was left alone and by myself. And it hurt. BAD. It was the type of pain that could make a 6'2" 250 pound person who was used to enduring pain cry like a baby every single day. And, it caused me to fall into a very deep depression that I still haven't recovered from.

Its now 3 years later and I still love her deep down inside. I don't convey it to her at all. Its bad enough that whenever I see her, i physically feel sick and I feel pain. It still hurts. BADLY. There are far too many things that remind me of her. So forgetting about her and cutting off contact is pretty much out of the question. Because there is no possible way for it to happen.


What am I supposed to do?

And am I wrong for feeling the way that I do?

Is she a lesbian?

Carl.

[blackzj52]

Don't say that cutting off contact is impossible. It's likely your only way to move on and the only reason you can't cut off contact is because your mind is weak.

I'm telling you this from experience. Don't wait and wait and wait to cut it off. Cut it off now. It'll hurt for a bit but eventually you'll be over it and you'll be so much better.

x2. cut it off now. the sooner the better. yes easier said than done. but do it. ull thank us later

[depressed_one]

Because you obviously have emotional issues, problems with moving on, and likely need therapy? Just a thought. Go find someone to talk to, even if it's just a priest at a local church.

Thats true. I probably do need therapy. I basically really just need someone to talk to.

Oh, and stop putting her pussy on a pedestal please.

ahahahahahahaha. But its really too good to pass up. I mean really.

Is she a lesbian?

Carl.

Uhh, actually no. She's bisexual. I can still get the ass when I want it.

x2. cut it off now. the sooner the better. yes easier said than done. but do it. ull thank us later

I wish it was that easy.

[richeanne]

okay, you have major emotional issuez..it wont hurt to get some counselling..If its startin to go overboard., affectin your health and all that.. U should really get proffessional advice. And if you really love her, then let her be. Even if it means not bein with her again. Face it. she's one happy pussy right now. Go get urself a new one. have a life, time's been tickin out for so long.

[bluesummer]

Yeah, these are supposed to be good, fun times in your life......but YOU are holding yourself back from that.

Look, everyone goes through the depression of a breakup thinking that person is the ONLY one for them and blah blah blah blah. The sooner you put yourself out there and start taking an interest in the world OUTSIDE of this chick, the sooner you will move on. You'll meet someone better than her, that's a promise.

All the time I've been on this board I've seen countless cases like yours of "I'll never get over this person....." Guess what? They always do. You will too, once you put your mind to doing it. Go out and be social and cut this girl out of your life, at least for awhile, until you're over her. Give yourself a chance to meet someone else.

[sthforreal]

I wish it was that easy.

Everyone wishes so. But if you never try to move on, you'll be in pain forever. Many people here are going through the same thing, myself included. The more you talk/see/know about that person, the more it hurts you.

Just let go and move on. Live your life.

[depressed_one]

Everyone wishes so. But if you never try to move on, you'll be in pain forever. Many people here are going through the same thing, myself included. The more you talk/see/know about that person, the more it hurts you.

Just let go and move on. Live your life.

You know what, You're right. Ive always been told to cut off contact. But with facebook/myspace/txt messages it gets pretty difficult.


I'm honestly ok for the most part seeing as though its been 3 years. But when the thoughts of my former happiness w/ her pop up I get all soft and shit. lol.


Thanks everyone for your replies.

[sthforreal]

You know what, You're right. Ive always been told to cut off contact. But with facebook/myspace/txt messages it gets pretty difficult.


I'm honestly ok for the most part seeing as though its been 3 years. But when the thoughts of my former happiness w/ her pop up I get all soft and shit. lol.


Thanks everyone for your replies.

Maybe what I did is a little bit too much to some people, after the breakup, I shutted down myspace, as well as facebook. I also blocked him on email, so I will never hear from him again. Mostly because I am kinda weak so I need to force myself to do the above, to make sure I will never take him back again.

I hope u'll be all ok soon. =)

[Mish]

Its now 3 years later and I still love her deep down inside. I don't convey it to her at all. Its bad enough that whenever I see her, i physically feel sick and I feel pain. It still hurts. BADLY. There are far too many things that remind me of her. So forgetting about her and cutting off contact is pretty much out of the question. Because there is no possible way for it to happen.

Cutting contact is for your own good so you feel less pain. If you are unable to do that try to distance yourself as best you can from her.

Use this time to work on yourself, you create your own happiness, go out and create it today. The past is for the past. Today is the first day of the rest of your life