Got weird real fast.

[Jay T]

Ok so I don't know if any one here remembers at all my last post dealing with this girl because that was probably like a good 8-9 months... or so ago...

But anyways to sum things up me and this girl have been best friends for about 4-5 years now. A year ago I completely fell in love with her and did what I thought was the best thing to do at the time, tell her.

She was dating someone... the broke up. I thought I had a chance *nope* she went out with someone else, they broke up. I had to be the shoulder to cry on each time, was there when she vented etc etc. I know I'm stupid I hurt myself by doing that and put myself in a bad position.

I realized why nothing ever happened between us more than being close friends is because even though I had told her I loved her on more than one occasion (albeit at bad times), is because I was never genuine with her. I was so caught up in not getting hurt that I was guarding my feelings the whole time, pretending like I never cared, JUST BEING A FRIEND. <----- stupid I know.

So I decided "screw this" and stopped being just a friend. I got her a nice stuffed bear for xmas (in her favorite color of course) and she loved it. When she comes to vent to me I tell her I can't sit and listen because it'll hurt me, find someone else.

Also a week ago when she called us "friends" I had to tell her how jealous it made me feel. She then told me she didn't want a boyfriend right now (she's into fashion, music, creative arts that kind of stuff and is working hard on building a portfolio for college) BUT we could hook up.

...

Being a guy, to me "hook up" is sex... all there is to it. I thought about it real hard and I asked her what did she specifically mean by that. She said "open to fun". Ok so I know sex screws up friendships and all that crazy stuff, but I know this girl well enough that her intentions are along the lines of "let's mess around and see where it leads us".

Not a bad thing right? Not good either unless I play my cards right. Of course I told her I want something more than just sex, something beautiful and lasting because I love her. That got me silence... Understandable since she doesn't want I boyfriend but I just wanted to be clear as to what my feelings are regarding her.

So this past week was full of us messing around before and after class and hugs good-bye, cool eh? I thought that was a good sign. But since Wednesday she hasn't responded to my calls nor my texts except to say that a friend thanked me for wishing her happy birthday. I'm not smothering her, I send maybe 2 texts a day and call just to see what's up.

Could some insight please be given on what's going on in her mind? What is she thinking and who/what does she see me as?

Thank you and I apologize for the long read and any grammatical mistakes I may have made.

[3mwmb]

I realized why nothing ever happened between us more than being close friends is because even though I had told her I loved her on more than one occasion (albeit at bad times), is because I was never genuine with her. I was so caught up in not getting hurt that I was guarding my feelings the whole time, pretending like I never cared, JUST BEING A FRIEND. <----- stupid I know.

Do you mean before you told her you love her?

[Jay T]

After I told her. However, she was in a relationship when I told her. I only told her because she actually asked if I was interested in anyone.

[Cain]

I think it's pretty obvious that you're in the friend zone. And you put yourself there by being her emotional tampon.

If you want a relationship with her, fooling around is about the stupidest thing you could do. She'll get the pleasure and you'll get the added feelings. Why do that to yourself?

Friends can't be friends if one has deeper feelings for the other.

[IndiReloaded]

Friends can't be friends if one has deeper feelings for the other.

This is what is boils down to. If you can work it out so you are together, do it. If not, you will only end up hurting each other (one or both) way more by trying to maintain a false friendship.

[Jay T]

I see, thank you.