hot temper

[evelin]

Can anyone advice me? I am 21 years old, and have a really nice 35 years old boyfriend he is really caring, loving, knows how to make me happy, good looking and charming. but yet he is turkish, and looks like has really hot temper. Recently I started noticing more and more things that show he can be really rude and even violent if anyone makes him lose his patience.
For example, he is still having a divorce case from his ex-wife and because that case takes such a long time sometimes loses control. Recently he started arguing with his lawyer and several days ago had a big fight and was shouting and swearing at her. She is a woman,I dont think that its appropriate...
Another example, the customer at his work annoyed him (wanted to go without paying the bill) so he wanted to beat him (instead of calling the police), but apparently boss didnt let him do this.
Are all these things red flags? It is possible that one day he will lose control with me and wont control his aggression in any way. Shouting... beating...Does that turkish hot temper creates that? cause i am really calm person,and my aggression never shows in violent things...
To be honest, i dont know turkish men at all, only this one creates my opinion about them...

[Ruval]

I don't know his side of the story but from what you're saying I'd say those are red flags. I don't think him being Turkish has anything to do with it, though, but definitely watch yourself.

[UKboy]

Do watch yourself.
At 35,men should already be posessing traits and attributes that contributes to being a cultured and mannered parental figure.
Seemingly,however,it's quite the contrary for this man.I suggest you leave the emotions aside and look at the bigger picture.

[Junket]

I don't think it has anything to do with him being Turkish.

However, you see the red flags now, you better keep these in the back of your head, 'cause if he ever gets upset with you (and he will) you will have a perfectly good excuse to drop his ass should he cross the line.

[Lite]

Right, so you're 21 and seeking men far older than you. Bad childhood? Abusive home life? What is it that attracts you to abusive older men with bad tempers?

[evelin]

well, I was never seeking to have a boyfriend much older than me,only this one happened to be older
age gap is nothing, but signs of abusive behaviour is really something
the reason i wrote here so that people from outside tell are those red flags or not
no need to judge me if i am with a man who is 14 years older...

[Lite]

well, I was never seeking to have a boyfriend much older than me,only this one happened to be older
age gap is nothing, but signs of abusive behaviour is really something
the reason i wrote here so that people from outside tell are those red flags or not
no need to judge me if i am with a man who is 14 years older...

Look, you're on here asking us to judge someone else's behavior to give you a point of reference to something you've already answered as making you uncomfortable and wrong. That's usually the good sign you do actually have a few brain cells rubbing together up there trying to ensure that you take care of yourself

Along with that comes the basic judgment of you, your fitness for dating, and helping you be the best you that you can become.

Age gap isn't nothing. There are typically very specific reasons why a person seeks out what they do, and in the case of women being attracted to men 14 years their senior at your particular age is an unstable household situation/bad parents and you're looking for stability.

I am being judgmental, and making observations while trying to best figure out what kind of advice you need and how you could apply it. I'm not going to apologize if I've touched a nerve her, and since you immediately went on the defensive I'm going to guess that I have. A judgment is an assessment, which means we could actually agree with your view on a situation. "Yes, you look good in red." is just as much of a judgment as, "Those jeans make your ass look like a water buffalo."

If it is stability you're seeking please consider that the best source of stability and control in your life is you. You are the person who has to live with yourself daily, knows you better than anyone else in the world, and how to provide what you need in order to feel safe, stable, and on a good path.

You've already expressed concerns for his temper, so you're pretty much decided that you're not OK with this behavior whether it is endemic to Turkish Male Culture or not. Which means you need to move on and find someone whose temperament is more compatible with yours.
I'm not being judgemental, merely making observations and trying to best figure out what kind of advice you need and how you could apply it. I'm not going to apologize if I've touched a nerve her, and since you immediately went on the defensive I'm going to guess that I have.

If it is stability you're seeking please consider that the best source of stability and control in your life is you. You are the person who has to live with yourself daily, knows you better than anyone else in the world, and how to provide what you need in order to feel safe, stable, and on a good path.

You've already expressed concerns for his temper, so you're pretty much decided that you're not OK with this behavior whether it is endemic to Turkish Male Culture or not. Which means you need to move on and find someone whose temperament is more compatible with yours.